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Old 03-31-18, 06:50 PM
Lash107 Lash107 is offline

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Re: College Son Prescribed Trazodone - Would like others thoughts

Originally Posted by kris4chloe View Post
What about an inability to wake up? Anyone else have that as an issue? Every day we have been visiting this week i have had to wake him up. Just today i get to his room and both alarms are going off (alarm clock and phone alarm) and heís not phased at all. Still sleeping. Thatís my other issue with her prescribing him a sleeping medication. He needs to be able to wake up and make it to class. His classes donít start til 11:30 yet he can not manage to get up for it? Iím exhausted and exasperated at this point and ready to throw in the towel. I feel like his ADD is effecting me more then him.
Can the dose be adjusted? My brother was like this in high school but no sleep med. He just had to get his rear out of bed. Got a super loud alarm clock.
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Old 04-04-18, 02:07 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
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Re: College Son Prescribed Trazodone - Would like others thoughts

The sleeping issue ... and the video game issue ... can be part of depression ... video games are highly immersive ... and can seem to take you away from your problems ... and with depression, you don't have the willpower to cut back ... because you're not getting any natural life "highs."

Just a perspective ... I deal with college students in my job ... and I was depressed in college without the help of a parent like you ....

First, you are doing great work! ... Nothing harder than having a child who is depressed ... One of my best friends has a daughter who is severely depressed ... My friend is an ultimate high achiever ... and he gets calls about once a day ... from his daughter telling him how depressed and often how suicidal she is ... My buddy has been through hell!

Big picture suggestion: don't back off out of protecting his dignity. Young people often have this dumb thing--and it is really dumb--in their heads where they don't want to share weakness ... That's why kids don't tell their parents about the bully. Same with depression ... depression carries shame ... but that shame ironically blocks you from addressing your problems ... So don't back off! ...

Even if he screams at you, don't back off. Think of depression this way: depression basically ruins clear thinking ... so depressed people are terrible at helping themselves ... I was fortunate in that my mother ... who was preoccupied with several family emergencies (multiple family members had severe illnesses at the same time) ... though she neglected me ... she was a fan of counseling and she endorsed me going to counseling ... The point is without the counseling, I would have had very little clear thinking to get out of my condition.

So be as intrusive as you want to be ... and don't feel required to back off if he screams that you're disrespecting him. You're not.

I can't remember who's treating your son ... but basically you need to find a first-rate, totally excellent psychiatrist, one who is willing to use trial and error and try out all kinds of creative treatment plans ... until you get to one that works ... I would for now focus on the depression! ... that's my thinking ... focus there ...

Big picture thought #2: if he drops out or is forced to take time off of school, that will be its own crisis ... but maybe not as big as we imagine. Coming home and getting treatment there ... thinking about his life ... being away from school for a while ... could actually end up helping him ... His life isn't over if he flunks out for now. You can go back to school and later in life, no one cares that you stopped for a year or two or took 6 years to get your degree instead of four.

You probably need psychiatrist visits for say every two weeks ... in emergency maybe even every week ... try out a med ... report back results ... adjust med ... report back results ...

Unfortunately the best psychiatrists often don't take insurance ... but you can google around and find patient reviews of psychiatrists that patients really praise highly ... often these are really good folks ...

And your son might benefit as well from counseling/therapy ... A lot of young men do well with female therapists but others might want a male ... but a therapist can be that nonjudgmental life coach that can foster self acceptance ... and help the person see their weaknesses without the person feeling humiliated ... and then help that person fill in the gaps they need to fill in to flourish ...

Good luck. You are doing wonderful and painful and exhausting work ... You're not doing anything wrong ... Don't be afraid to be intrusive here ... Treating ADHD unfortunately often takes time ... to find a good med with minimum side effects. Also, you should know that side effects can recede after 2 to 3 weeks ... and over time ... So sometimes you don't wanna bail on a med just because the initial days are strange ... It's even possible that one of the meds you son has already taken (and judged unhelpful) could prove really helpful ... at the right dose ... one the side effects recede.

Good luck.
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