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Old 01-31-19, 12:20 PM
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Stuck in a Rut

So I've been in Project and Product Management for a few years now. Started off as a Project Manager and have moved into Product Management. My degree is in Business Management so these positions for me seemed like a good fit, I can manage something without needing to be a direct manager. When I first started we were using Waterfall as a means to launch our projects. For me it went well, and I had it down to a science but as far as my company was concerned, it didn't work for all. So now we are using Agile and holy smokes. I just can't seem to get into it. I'm not saying it's hard it's more that I just...I'm 47 and the idea of starting all over, we changed our coding and infrastructure as well. I just have no energy or drive to learn new things at work. I want to but I just can't stay focused and driven. I do have brief moments where I feel my mojo is back but then...poof. Gone.

I'm starting to wonder if I should go back on meds so I can get back into the swing of things. Because some of the technology really needs me to concentrate and learn this new sequel based system to search for stories and defects. I use to work with sequel but now...it's as if I know nothing. I really dread going back on meds. I didn't like hitting the wall when it wore off. It was as if you went from this super focused brilliant person to wham...bumbling idiot. I just couldn't function without it and I don't know if I like that. But I don't know what else to do or try since I feel like I've tried it all. Am I really going down as an old lady stuck in her ways? Not really helpful for my career, especially since I have quite a few years before retirement. Gawd I'm old.
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  #2  
Old 01-31-19, 12:29 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Have you tried Omega 3 fish oil? I know it only works for a small percentage of
us, but it's been amazing for me.
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Old 01-31-19, 12:36 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

I have used fish oil and I'm on cod liver oil at the moment but alas it doesn't work for my focus. I've also tried diet. I've eaten organically for years and avoid anything with color, etc. Still, nothing. Ritalin is what I was on and I really can't take anything extended because of my BP. There is a balance I walk everyday for whether I drink coffee or take certain meds. Like right now I'm sick and I can't do coffee and a daytime decongestant without becoming hypomanic. Walking a tightrope Now that song is in my head.
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Old 01-31-19, 12:45 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

You're not old, Andi

I'd say go back on the meds and see if that helps
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Old 01-31-19, 03:00 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

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Originally Posted by Andi View Post
I have used fish oil and I'm on cod liver oil at the moment but alas it doesn't work for my focus. I've also tried diet. I've eaten organically for years and avoid anything with color, etc. Still, nothing. Ritalin is what I was on and I really can't take anything extended because of my BP. There is a balance I walk everyday for whether I drink coffee or take certain meds. Like right now I'm sick and I can't do coffee and a daytime decongestant without becoming hypomanic. Walking a tightrope Now that song is in my head.
Sorry nothing is working well without unwanted side effects.
And sorry about the ear-worm. I had one last week that would not quit.
Dona Novis Pacem.
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Old 01-31-19, 03:05 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

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Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Sorry nothing is working well without unwanted side effects.
And sorry about the ear-worm. I had one last week that would not quit.
Dona Novis Pacem.
I had two lines from one of the disney songs going round and round and round and round in my head a couple of weeks ago so I know that feeling

That song from Alice in Wonderland - the good advice song

Andi I hope you can find something that works without unwanted side effects
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Old 01-31-19, 04:56 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andi View Post
So I've been in Project and Product Management for a few years now. Started off as a Project Manager and have moved into Product Management. My degree is in Business Management so these positions for me seemed like a good fit, I can manage something without needing to be a direct manager. When I first started we were using Waterfall as a means to launch our projects. For me it went well, and I had it down to a science but as far as my company was concerned, it didn't work for all. So now we are using Agile and holy smokes. I just can't seem to get into it. I'm not saying it's hard it's more that I just...I'm 47 and the idea of starting all over, we changed our coding and infrastructure as well. I just have no energy or drive to learn new things at work. I want to but I just can't stay focused and driven. I do have brief moments where I feel my mojo is back but then...poof. Gone.

I'm starting to wonder if I should go back on meds so I can get back into the swing of things. Because some of the technology really needs me to concentrate and learn this new sequel based system to search for stories and defects. I use to work with sequel but now...it's as if I know nothing. I really dread going back on meds. I didn't like hitting the wall when it wore off. It was as if you went from this super focused brilliant person to wham...bumbling idiot. I just couldn't function without it and I don't know if I like that. But I don't know what else to do or try since I feel like I've tried it all. Am I really going down as an old lady stuck in her ways? Not really helpful for my career, especially since I have quite a few years before retirement. Gawd I'm old.
OMG, you are dealing with all that AND off meds? I'm in the same boat as you, 48 years old, starting a new job. And three young daughters. And a LOT less energy than I used to have. I'm starting an exercise program to see if getting in shape helps a little. I'm not overweight, just no cardio right now. Lungs don't feel like they work great, and that tires me out too.

Anyways, enough griping, my point being, there's no way I could deal with all this without the Vyvanse. Yes, I hit a bit of a wall when I get home and it wears off, but at least then all I have to do is make dinner, put kids to bed, and watch "Game of Thrones", lol.

All the best,
Daniel
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Old 01-31-19, 08:10 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andi View Post
I'm starting to wonder if I should go back on meds so I can get back into the swing of things. Because some of the technology really needs me to concentrate and learn this new sequel based system to search for stories and defects. I use to work with sequel but now...it's as if I know nothing. I really dread going back on meds. I didn't like hitting the wall when it wore off. It was as if you went from this super focused brilliant person to wham...bumbling idiot. I just couldn't function without it and I don't know if I like that. But I don't know what else to do or try since I feel like I've tried it all. Am I really going down as an old lady stuck in her ways? Not really helpful for my career, especially since I have quite a few years before retirement. Gawd I'm old.
I ask this all the time so I can learn my job but I don't want to put myself through meds again.

What SB has been saying for years is true. The brain does run better on ketones than glucose. Try that first. Start with Diet Doctor he puts it in layman's terms.
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Old 02-01-19, 12:24 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

I was talking to Hub about the keto diet last night. To Sb's point about being vegetarian through the process, I think vegetarian would be way more difficult for us. I am willing to try the additional supplements, cutting processed sugars and bread and what not. Been there done that and avoid red meat. He appeared to be receptive to it because we are both tired of being sluggish and lacking energy and focus. After I heal from surgery I plan to get back into Yoga too. I'm hoping these changes will be beneficial.
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Old 02-01-19, 12:54 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

I'm almost the same age as you and yeah, towards the end before I retired, I found myself giving the tasks that required learning new computer stuff to younger staff/assistants to do for me. Why is it that age does that to us- kinda sucks. It's not that I don't like to learn new stuff. It's that if I'm not highly interested in it, it's much harder to get myself to learn it compared to when I was younger.

I did learn enough to check that their final products were accurate (I don't blindly trust things are right) so I just learned the big picture and allowed myself to forget the details by getting support/younger staff to do it instead.

That was actually allowed and encouraged in my job so not a bad thing in my case but I'm guessing it's not a considered a positive in your field since you aren't doing it.

I hope the keto thing helps. Maybe a good amount of exercise might help too. But if it doesn't I'm guessing it will ultimately boil down to whether you are doing poorly enough without the meds that the cost will be worth the reward.
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Old 02-01-19, 06:17 PM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andi View Post
I was talking to Hub about the keto diet last night. To Sb's point about being vegetarian through the process, I think vegetarian would be way more difficult for us. I am willing to try the additional supplements, cutting processed sugars and bread and what not. Been there done that and avoid red meat. He appeared to be receptive to it because we are both tired of being sluggish and lacking energy and focus. After I heal from surgery I plan to get back into Yoga too. I'm hoping these changes will be beneficial.

I can't do vegetarian either. Start with paleo and transition to keto from there. It's easier that way. I don't avoid meat at all but it has to be the correct amount of protein not like atkins
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Old 02-02-19, 12:50 AM
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Re: Stuck in a Rut

(Hugs)

As far as I can understand, it is natural to fall into habitual patterns of behavior, it is something that human beings strive for and need. It is really a life long journey and you are at a stage when things tend to shift somewhat. I believe that one mistake we all make is to unconsciously expect the world around us to remain stable as long as we remain stable but that never really happens, the people around us are constantly changing as are we. This means that over time staples of our identity, jobs, relationships/partners and the world around us change and it often makes us feel disconnected and lost as a result. Our own personal boundaries also change as we experience new hardships such as illness or loss. For people who have chronic mental health problems this is made harder because we tend to have a much greater need for external stability because our internal world and identity is often fragmented from traumatic pasts and hardships.

With this in mind, feeling anxious about a changing world is natural and what you are experiencing is part of the journey. I'm not sure that changing diets is actually that useful in this case as you are simply adding more restrictions to your life instead of making it richer. As an alternative I would consider getting to know the world around you better. Talk to your partner about their life and yours, open up to the people who work with you and see if you can find someone to share the task of understanding the new programs, ask for help when you need it. Just try to understand yourself and the world around you better. Strengthen the sense of overall intimacy that you feel with the world. Writing things down as you did here is also helpful as it helps contextualize your life. However, the most important thing in my eyes is to be patient and to give yourself the time needed to rediscover yourself and the world around you.

Much hugs and I hope things work out!

Last edited by tazoz; 02-02-19 at 01:10 AM..
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