ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADDForums FRONT OFFICE > New Member Introductions
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-02-19, 04:06 AM
Clavius78 Clavius78 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Klundert
Posts: 31
Thanks: 7
Thanked 35 Times in 18 Posts
Clavius78 is on a distinguished road
I finally know what's wrong with me!

TL/DR: Getting an ADD diagnose in a few weeks. But I'm already sure. So, I decided to stop lurking and join the conversations here and there.

Hi everyone! I'm a 41 year old male. Married with one 10 year old daughter. I've always felt I was different through my youth and my first jobs. In school I excelled greatly in short periods, only to fail again in other periods. I had great trouble keeping my mind on studying. I just assumed I was stupid or lazy, and I covered my insecurities up by acting like I just didn't care.

15 years ago I started working in the office for a company that just clicked with me. I still don't know exactly why. All the stars aligned for me somehow. My manager gave me great freedom as long as my figures were good. I joined all kinds of interesting projects and got to do exciting stuff. Then all of a sudden things changed. I blame all kinds of stuff: We had to share each others tasks. We no longer had our own desks but got flex work-spaces. The office got really very noisy. Everything got really structured in processes and we had to work via predefined work instructions.

All of a sudden I became awfully bad at task that I had been doing with great precision for 15 years. I made many stupid mistakes in processes that I designed myself! I was back in the beginning of my carrier. I also became paralyzed. I could not start tasks anymore. And if I did, I couldn't finish them.

So, that's when I decided to figure out exactly what was wrong with me. Fast forward: a year later I had the diagnose ASD. Which never felt like it fitted. I was assigned psyche-education in a large group of newly diagnosed adult and I recognized almost nothing of their symptoms. I was again different:
  • They're perfectionists, while my days are littered with careless stupid mistakes.
  • I have trouble keeping attention during everything, while they can focus so deeply.
  • They prefer routine work for extensive lengths of time, but I detest it, I only thrive when exploring new processes and solving weird problems.
  • I'm very forgetful, but they seem to remember all details about everything.
  • They have everlasting "special interests" while I am really goods at stuff for 3.2 months and then switch to the next hobby.

There was one thing that I had in common with the others though, and that was sensory overload. Or better said: things that distracted me from my own thoughts. My thoughts are always racing all over the place. So maybe about 10% of my attention is available for my daily tasks. As long as I can do things in my own chaotic way, there's no problem. And when there's a lot going on in my environment competing for attention with my racing mind I get overloaded. This sometimes got so bad, that I can't even finish my own thoughts because I get distracted by a next thought, that gets interrupted too, and so on. Like a "storm" in my head.

So, my search went on. And I did some online self-tests for ADD. Moreover, I started lurking on this forum. And I seem to recognize every symptom! Now I have an appointment to get an official ADD diagnose in three weeks. I already did the intake last week. But for myself it's already crystal clear that this is what's bothering me.

One point of concern raised by my psychiatrist that's evaluating me for ADD though, she wants to rule out early onset Parkinson's disease! (YIKES!) She explained that both Parkinson's and ADD involve very low levels of dopamines. And that the two sometimes get mixed up. Anybody heard of this?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Clavius78 For This Useful Post:
sarek (06-20-19)
  #2  
Old 04-02-19, 07:14 AM
TygerSan's Avatar
TygerSan TygerSan is online now
Secret Squirrel!! Moderator
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Mid Atlantic
Posts: 7,416
Thanks: 7,458
Thanked 13,446 Times in 5,444 Posts
TygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond reputeTygerSan has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I finally know what's wrong with me!

Welcome to the forum! I’m glad you’ve found your tribe.

The r/o of Parkinson’s is a little concerning. Hopefully they’re just trying to rule other causes out. It’s true that sometimes the two conditions travel together, but I don’t know how common that is.
__________________
"You don't pass or fail at being a person, dear"
Neil Gaiman

"being lost,/ being crazy maybe/ is not so bad/ if you can be/ that way/ undisturbed."
Charles Bukowski
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-02-19, 08:24 AM
Clavius78 Clavius78 is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Klundert
Posts: 31
Thanks: 7
Thanked 35 Times in 18 Posts
Clavius78 is on a distinguished road
Re: I finally know what's wrong with me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TygerSan View Post
Welcome to the forum! Iím glad youíve found your tribe.
Thanks!


Quote:
Originally Posted by TygerSan View Post
The r/o of Parkinsonís is a little concerning. Hopefully theyíre just trying to rule other causes out. Itís true that sometimes the two conditions travel together, but I donít know how common that is.
Yes, and I've been trying to let it go, but I can't stop searching online for information about this. I also found one a parkinson related symptom called "microscripting" that I have, where handwriting gets smaller and smaller.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 04-02-19, 09:45 AM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 19,977
Thanks: 21,795
Thanked 27,039 Times in 12,619 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I finally know what's wrong with me!

Hello and welcome. I suggest you look at your family history to see if anyone
else had/has either ADHD or Parkinson's.

The therapist I saw was sure I have bipolar, but there is no history of bipolar
in my family tree, and plenty of relatives with ADHD and ASD.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
aeon (04-02-19)
  #5  
Old 04-02-19, 05:22 PM
midnightstar's Avatar
midnightstar midnightstar is offline
Purriendly feline moderator
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 19,993
Blog Entries: 10
Thanks: 19,455
Thanked 23,853 Times in 14,109 Posts
midnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: I finally know what's wrong with me!

Hi and welcome
__________________
Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 )
Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012)
Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014)
Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018)
Tigger (31st October 2014 - current)
Willow (3rd November 2018 - current)
"No human should ever hurt an animal" Jessie, Animal Farm

Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-06-19, 10:07 AM
sk1n1m1n sk1n1m1n is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Essex, UK
Posts: 9
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
sk1n1m1n is on a distinguished road
Re: I finally know what's wrong with me!

Hello and welcome to the forum
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
40 & FINALLY figured out what's wrong with me SlicksandStones New Member Introductions 3 09-30-15 01:28 AM
Help! Wrong dose? wrong med? Or something else? musikat Children's Diagnosis & Treatment 6 04-03-10 12:44 AM
Help me understand what's wrong with my views on love and relationships wsmac Relationships & Social Issues 18 04-01-10 01:17 AM
I think I finally know what is wrong with me ADHDphysicist Women with ADD/ADHD 11 09-03-08 12:02 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums