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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #556  
Old 04-20-18, 05:48 PM
mind_in_orbit mind_in_orbit is offline
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

I'm looking with deep disappointment at people my age and younger getting married and having children, yet I still want a relationship where a girl and I do things that typical teenagers do. I want to swing on the swings at the playground together, go to the amusement park, sit under the stars and write poetry, etc.

I worry that I will only meet women who have adult relationship expectations, and who will be too jaded by experience to truly share (read SHARE, as in MUTUAL) innocent curious excitement. I will start getting women with ticking baby clocks, divorcees, and just generally women with grownup issues that I firstly won't know how to handle with my very limited experience, and secondly don't feel it's fair to HAVE to deal with, ON TOP of all the mental health issues that interrupted my teenage years in the first place.

Meanwhile, I feel that women in say their early 20s who are likewise delayed adolescents with no dating experience will write me off simply because of my age, before they even get to know me. How about judging me by my ACTUAL LEVEL OF EXPERIENCE and not by a F******* NUMBER!!
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  #557  
Old 04-20-18, 08:09 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

There are women all around who are saying the same thing you are saying.

I don't exactly know how you find them ... But they're out there ... and these women would love to meet you ... they're worried that they haven't dated a lot ... and that men don't appreciate them ... and that they don't want to do all the "grown-up" stuff ...

Just be honest about your interests ... and put yourself out there ... I get what you're saying, but you have to look past the stereotype of these folks who on the outside look like they've got everything worked out ...Nobody has it all worked out ...
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  #558  
Old 04-21-18, 06:08 AM
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sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by mind_in_orbit View Post
I'm looking with deep disappointment at people my age and younger getting married and having children, yet I still want a relationship where a girl and I do things that typical teenagers do. I want to swing on the swings at the playground together, go to the amusement park, sit under the stars and write poetry, etc.
Do you mind telling me how old you are?
Quote:
I worry that I will only meet women who have adult relationship expectations, and who will be too jaded by experience to truly share (read SHARE, as in MUTUAL) innocent curious excitement. I will start getting women with ticking baby clocks, divorcees, and just generally women with grownup issues that I firstly won't know how to handle with my very limited experience, and secondly don't feel it's fair to HAVE to deal with, ON TOP of all the mental health issues that interrupted my teenage years in the first place.
It sounds like you're looking for someone to meet criteria that might be hard to fill. You cant expect women to want exactly what you want and ignore all of her needs in order to meet yours. However, you are entitled to find a partner that shares your interests without "baggage".
Here's the thing though: you can expect to meet somebody that will have that none of those qualities and all the qualities that you say you want. People want different things in a relationship and its a two way street.
I am sure that there is a woman out there with the same expectations as you.

Quote:
Meanwhile, I feel that women in say their early 20s who are likewise delayed adolescents with no dating experience will write me off simply because of my age, before they even get to know me. How about judging me by my ACTUAL LEVEL OF EXPERIENCE and not by a F******* NUMBER!!
Well it sounds like you are judging these mythical women by your own standards. So it makes sense that they would judge you in their own way by their standards.
I would focus on just being in the moment and not projecting what you think will happen before it does.
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  #559  
Old 04-27-18, 04:05 PM
mind_in_orbit mind_in_orbit is offline
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I am sure that there is a woman out there with the same expectations as you.
I sure hope there is--and that I can find one.
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  #560  
Old 07-17-18, 08:08 PM
euboea67 euboea67 is offline
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Re: The Relationship - vent thread

Personally I have a hard time connecting on dates - much harder than in non-dating situations. I think it's because you're in a different mentality when you're on a date than when you're just friends with someone - but regardless, i've never been able to build chemistry while just going on dates with someone...
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