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  #1  
Old 01-02-10, 10:40 AM
innaminute innaminute is offline
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Smile New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Once upon a time, I used to try and make New Years resolutions. That never did much good.

One day I heard someone mention that they didn't do New Years resolutions, but that they gave each year a "theme". (leapofaith mentioned something similar in another thread and yesterday I spent some time writing in my journal about my year's theme, so I figured, Hey, why not ask everyone about their theme?

I didn't do one last year, and I don't remember if I did one the year before. But, this year, mine is summed up in one word: Balance.

I can't speak for everyone, but I'd imagine that most people, ADHD or not, have issues with balance. I imagine that it's especially difficult with ADHD! At least it is for me!

What I am going to do this evening is this:
  • Write a list of all the areas in my life where I already have balance. (This is to hopefully prevent me from beating and berating myself about how out of balance my life is.)
  • Write a list of all the areas in my life where I could use more balance.
  • Write a sentence or paragraph for each area on how the thought of having more balance in that area makes me feel. If the thought or feeling is fear, I'll try to write down the positives to kind of cancel that out.
  • Come up with ideas and write them down about the actions I can take to bring more balance into my life in each area I listed.
  • I'm thinking that depending on how many things I come up with, I may want to break the things down into quarterly sections.
    • So, if I have 12 things, I'd pick 3 things for each quarter in the year...January - March, April - June, July - September, October - December.
  • And, maybe "evidence" - How will I know if I've achieved balance, or at least gotten closer to balance in these areas? And maybe write a sentence or paragraph.
  • Since I tend to write lists all the time and promptly forget about them, I'm thinking I might setup an appointment for myself to cut out some pictures from magazines that represent the areas for the quarter, and paste them on poster board for visual representation and put them somewhere I can see it.
So, for example...
  • With Balance, one area of my life I can definitely use more balance in, is the time I spend on the internet.
  • The thought of spending less time, while good in theory, actually makes me a bit uncomfortable because I enjoy that time. I worry that I'd be bored or wouldn't know what to do when I wasn't online.
  • If I had more balance in that area, I'd probably let my mind rest more or have more time to spend with my partner or doing other things I enjoy.
  • One way I can put this into action is to setup a timer on my computer and only stay online for hour increments. Rather than spending four hours non-stop surfing the web, I can surf an hour... then stop for 30 minutes... if I want to come back to it, I can.
  • How will I know? Maybe I'll ask my partner if I seem to be spending less time online. Or, I'll set something up that will log when I open my browser and when I close my browser. I can then review that log.
Hopefully this post wasn't too long. I find that I often try to overcommunicate to make sure my thoughts and ideas are expressed as precise as possible. (Another area that could be helped by balance!)

I'd love to see what everyone else can come up with - I find that if I surround myself with positive people and we help and support each other, things are easier and more fun.

If you're reading this and want to do this, please don't feel like you have to adhere to the structure... or even post examples or divulge more information than you are comfortable with...

I'm committed to making 2010 a great year. And I'd love for you all to be a part of that.

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  #2  
Old 01-02-10, 11:27 AM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Great idea! In my mind having a theme for the year just feels better than the idea of a resolution.

Whenever I've made a New Year's resolution, I've always had the thought in the back of my mind "I wonder how long this one will last?" Expecting to fail is always a recipe for failure.

I am thinking that I will choose health as my theme. I like your idea of putting around reminders. Maybe I'll use some pictures of people enjoying the outdoors as inspiration. Okay, time to go to flesh this idea out!
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Old 01-02-10, 12:11 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

I totally feel you, I make one or two word resolutions, but I change them every couple of weeks, and my memory is so bad all I remember is a month ago is I think one was "confidence". My problem is the second I read

"Write a list of all the areas in my life where I already have balance. (This is to hopefully prevent me from beating and berating myself about how out of balance my life is.)
Write a list of all the areas in my life where I could use more balance.
Write a sentence or paragraph for each area on how the thought of having more balance in that area makes me feel. If the thought or feeling is fear, I'll try to write down the positives to kind of cancel that out.
Come up with ideas and write them down about the actions I can take to bring more balance into my life in each area I listed.
I'm thinking that depending on how many things I come up with, I may want to break the things down into quarterly sections."..etc...

...this mental barrier or urge of hopelessness or laziness, I don't even know how to describe it comes up and overwhelmes any chance I might ever take to doing what you did, as simple as it may be.

Anyways my new years resolutions or ones I made about a week ago actually is to 1.) Put myself in every persons shoes who I'm talking to, instead of seeing them as a foreign object, like someone with as Asperger's might. 2.) Think and talk more slowly and casually. 3.) Respond in a way that makes people happy, or creates less tension, for some reason I have the default setting of stubborness, disagreement, or resilience, whether it favors my interests or not. Oh, and 4.) REMEMBER THESE.
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Old 01-02-10, 12:29 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

I generally don't make New Year's resolutions because New Year's is a totally artificial date - it's got no connection to the actual rhythms of the universe (as opposed to, say, the solstices). But this year I have felt the need to sort of take stock and refocus, and have decided to make a list of resolutions.

I'm going to be making the list later today, but the theme is "The Year of Options." I've been feeling fairly trapped lately and like if I don't change some situations soon that I will never, ever get out. I've fallen into the pattern of saying "I can't" whenever I think about what would make me happy, because I can't figure out exactly how to make it happen give my current situation.

So basically the resolutions are going to be about getting ready to sieze opportunities the universe may choose to present me with (the universe is far better at figuring out the "how" than I am), and looking at the future as being a work in progress instead of already being written in stone.
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Old 01-02-10, 12:32 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

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Originally Posted by SCTguy View Post
...this mental barrier or urge of hopelessness or laziness, I don't even know how to describe it comes up and overwhelmes any chance I might ever take to doing what you did, as simple as it may be.
I completely understand you! It has always been a struggle to just get started. Going on Vyvance has helped a lot, both with getting started and sticking with it.

I am looking at this theme idea more as an attitude adjustment than as a list of goals. The more ways I can come up with to keep reminding myself of my theme the more likely I will do something about it. I started by putting my theme in my signature.
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This year's theme: Health

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Old 01-02-10, 12:39 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

At the end of the last year, like around mid-December, I decided that New Year's resolutions were more like New Year's Expectations!! To me, expectations invoke a certain amount of pressure to perform or behave in a certain way! I decided that I would stop making resolutions, rather I would have New Year's Hopes!

If I hope to get something done, and I don't follow suit with it, there is always some disappointment but there was pressure on me. Therefore, I feel I can always try again! When you fall short on keeping your resolutions, how often do you really want to try again? You have either disappointed yourself and/or those you made those resolutions for.

I also feel when you make resolutions, you are not allowing a Higher Power in to help you. Resolutions and expectations are something you think you can do yourself without any type of help! With hopes, I feel you are asking your Higher Power to help you because you know you can't do it alone!

I do like the idea of having a theme for each year. My theme goes hand in hand with my hope for 2010. I am hoping to have a healthier year!!

Living with chronic illnesses and conditions,that 4 years ago took me from being a productive member of the workforce, to someone who is disabled and unable to work, I am hoping for this year to have even the slightest bit of improvement.

Almost every day, since the last day I was able to work, I always hope for a healthier day. I did have one day in 2008 that did help become a little bit healthier; it was the day when I got diagnosed with ADD.

I went over my whole life with my psychiatrist, including the recent problems (at the time) with my inability to read something and it make sense, and he said it was time for him to do an evaluation for ADD. He first put me on ADDERALL, which gave me such horrible headaches, the VICODIN I took for Chronic Pain, wouldn't even work. He then tried me on a low dose of Vyvanse, and what a difference!!!

I started on 20mg, then 30mg and now 50mg. I may need some tweaking on the 50mg of Vyvanse or just need a boost of DEX or something, because since being in a car accident in November, my meds are just not working as well. My Depression is not responding well to the dose of Cymbalta I am on either.

I also want it be a healthier year with my relationships! As I posted recently, my relationship with my son is improving each day! It is my HOPE, to get my relationship with my parents back on track.

Somewhere and sometime, it has gotten off-course and is not how it used to be. I have noticed that since my son came back to live with me two years ago, after his father's death, my relationship with my parents started to suffer. When my ex and I were divorced, when my son was not happy with something his step-father and/or I said or did, he would whine to his father. But since his father died, and he tried to get his uncle to listen to him whine and his uncle would tell him he needed to "Man-up" and talk to us, he started running to his only living grandparents with his whining!

It is very ironic because growing up, his father's parents used to spoil him and had a hard time saying no and my parents were the complete opposite but now, since his father and his father's parents are both now gone, my parents have a hard time saying no!


So my theme for this year is HOPE!
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Old 01-02-10, 12:52 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Executive Skills/Spelling/Economics
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Old 01-02-10, 02:35 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Resolutions have never worked for me either. The elusive "I'm going to lose weight" seems like a guarantee for failure.

I started this in December, actually, sort of a running start: being good to myself and taking better care of myself physically.

I'm very hard on myself, very impatient. I've been working on this with my therapist for quite a while, but I find it difficult to apply.

My thirties have been mostly spent taking care of my bipolar. Which is great, finally getting diagnosed with it (and ADD[i]). However, I turn 38 this year and I don't want to roll into my forties with the body of a 60 year old. I already have benign vertigo and essential tremors - two conditions seen commonly in those older than myself (by a good 20 years). I don't want my brain or body to fail me, I'm too young. I want to slide into my ninties (if I live that long) the way my Nana has...still vibrant and independent.
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Old 01-02-10, 05:23 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Wow, there's some seriously powerful stuff here! So excited to see these great replies

Ok, so as not to write a million different posts, I'm going to try and respond to everyone who has responded thus far... Bear with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeteM62 View Post
Great idea! In my mind having a theme for the year just feels better than the idea of a resolution.

Whenever I've made a New Year's resolution, I've always had the thought in the back of my mind "I wonder how long this one will last?" Expecting to fail is always a recipe for failure.

I am thinking that I will choose health as my theme. I like your idea of putting around reminders. Maybe I'll use some pictures of people enjoying the outdoors as inspiration. Okay, time to go to flesh this idea out!
Wow! That's such a great theme! And your idea for pictures enjoying the outdoors as inspiration is brilliant. I think having the visual reminders around are a little more powerful than having the thoughts. It's almost like you can see the person outside having fun and think, "Wow, that looks like fun. Let's do this!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by SCTguy View Post
...this mental barrier or urge of hopelessness or laziness, I don't even know how to describe it comes up and overwhelmes any chance I might ever take to doing what you did, as simple as it may be.
Funny thing is, I haven't done it yet. I've started on it, but I haven't even come close to finishing. Heck, I've barely come close to starting...

I actually added onto the bullet points while I was writing this, thinking, "hey, I bet doing blah blah blah would help." I understand the hopelessness/laziness and feeling overwhelmed. When I am facing something that feels overwhelming and/or hopeless, I try to figure out a way to make it fun. That's probably where the whole cutting out pictures from magazines came from.

It sounds like you've got some really great resolutions/goals for 2010, though!

chartreuse: I hear what you're saying about the rhythms of the universe and the artificial date. "Year of Options" is awesome. I hate feeling trapped, so I totally feel you there. And, I completely agree with you that the universe is better about figuring out the "how". I'm hoping when I write my list of "hows" I can tape into that unconscious and get some inspiration.

ToadysFroggy: Hope. I love it. Sorry to hear that the last year or so has been a struggle. I also understand what you say about making resolutions and how that correlates with a Higher Power. Although, I suppose one can also say that if you make a resolution, it can be a sign of faith in that Higher Power - that you are confident enough in that Higher Power to know if you say "I'm going to do ____", that your relationship with a Higher Power can empower you to do whatever the "_____" is.

In any case, I wish you the best for 2010. May your dreams be realized, and your hopes, fulfilled.

FunnyHead: Thanks so much for sharing that!

EYEFORGOT: So happy to hear that you've been on this track. My therapist also made a comment last time I saw him that I'm pretty good at being hard on myself. I also find stuff hard to apply. It's like I've got an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, but once I learn the stuff, what do I do with it?! Especially in matters of self-growth. Being good to yourself, both emotionally and physically, is an awesome theme.

---

Again, I'm so happy to see all this conversation.
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Old 01-03-10, 01:07 AM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

What a great idea! A "theme"!!! I'm really limited in the number of things I can work on at once, so if I focus on one theme, I just may be successful. Thanks for the inspiration!

For me, it's going to be facing this ADD beast head-on. I only recently realized I have it and will be going in for an evaluation in ten days, and eventually (hopefully) get on meds to help.

I already feel so much more powerful by merely being able to identify what exactly it is I'm dealing with. Right now, I can't get past identifying ways it is and has been prevalent in my life. I'm hoping that after diagnosis (and with the help of meds) I can move on to forming an action plan and learning coping strategies to dealing with it. I never previously realized the magnitude of my problems. I thought I could do it on my own and avoided relying on resources like list-making and post-its, etc., because I thought that when I was actively trying, I *should* be able to just remember it on my own, and when I didn't, then that meant I wasn't trying enough. But now that I know that it's something more, something bigger than me, I will gladly embrace any and all resources that will help me put this ADD monster in its place!!!
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Old 01-03-10, 01:26 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

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Originally Posted by ~~DayDreamer~~ View Post
What a great idea! A "theme"!!! I'm really limited in the number of things I can work on at once, so if I focus on one theme, I just may be successful. Thanks for the inspiration!

For me, it's going to be facing this ADD beast head-on. I only recently realized I have it and will be going in for an evaluation in ten days, and eventually (hopefully) get on meds to help.

I already feel so much more powerful by merely being able to identify what exactly it is I'm dealing with. Right now, I can't get past identifying ways it is and has been prevalent in my life. I'm hoping that after diagnosis (and with the help of meds) I can move on to forming an action plan and learning coping strategies to dealing with it. I never previously realized the magnitude of my problems. I thought I could do it on my own and avoided relying on resources like list-making and post-its, etc., because I thought that when I was actively trying, I *should* be able to just remember it on my own, and when I didn't, then that meant I wasn't trying enough. But now that I know that it's something more, something bigger than me, I will gladly embrace any and all resources that will help me put this ADD monster in its place!!!
That's awesome! Good luck in your journey! I totally understand where you're coming from, and I need to do the same thing with an action plan and strategies... Let me know what you find and what works for you!
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Old 01-03-10, 03:13 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

I don't have a "theme" yet; and I have been ill most of the week - but I truly love this idea. this is never a good time of the year for me and any resolutions I've ever made in janauary have never been kept and have made me miserable.

It will be something like, in the huge discovery and relief and re-organising and list making, of ADD I have lost something, of the wonder and beauty and originality of things, that i would very much like to retrieve.

so thank you for this thread and just thanks to everyone, for helping me get through this week.
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Old 01-14-10, 09:36 AM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Gotta love ADHD. Two weeks into the New Year and I still haven't sat down and written about my theme.

This weekend. For certain. LOL.

How are you all doing with yours?
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Old 01-14-10, 03:33 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

Acceptance is my theme for '10.
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Old 01-14-10, 05:10 PM
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Re: New Years Theme for 2010 - What's Yours?

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Gotta love ADHD. Two weeks into the New Year and I still haven't sat down and written about my theme.

This weekend. For certain. LOL.

How are you all doing with yours?
LOL - I completely FORGOT about this thread and my theme !
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