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  #31  
Old 05-11-18, 11:57 AM
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Re: Dating Predicament

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Originally Posted by ToneTone View Post
Find a therapist ... could be a man or woman ... and explain your challenges ... There are therapists who can help you with reading people, being social, understanding how to interact ...

You'll simply have to study these moves more formally than other people ... I had to do that ... and I found this type of social coaching enormously helpful.
I have yet to find a therapist who could help me socialize more "normally". Could you tell me some of the things a therapist does in order to make this happen?

TIA WMM
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  #32  
Old 05-11-18, 05:25 PM
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Re: Dating Predicament

I don't know for adults but for children they do exercises like having you explain what a person is feeling by looking at their face. Half of them didn't even make sense to me. I'm like, "What is that... does that person need to crap or something? Not sure what we are trying to get across here".

A big part of it is social stories for kids anyway. There is an actual name for them I think. Where you have a social scenario and you work through how to handle it. They can give you tips on how to read body language (like that one game show that supposedly taught you how to tell when someone is lieing). Also using role playing. (Not LARPing, sorry.)

They can talk about what relationships you already have and how to maintain those. They can encourage you to do things that take you just a little out of your comfort zone and have you slowly build up. Maybe have you ask a store clerk where an item is, for example, if that's an issue you had. Probably throw some CBT in there as well. There are plenty of CBT self help books out there that one may not require therapist guidance. YMMV.

Disclaimer: I know about things my child has done and I know what I had to teach myself growing up at a time where ASD wasn't really noticed, especially not in females.

At this point in my life I do have a "social" life but it involves people who are also socially awkward. So when all else fails I suggest finding more odd people.

I will say, however, there are not enough therapists or medications in the world to make me pass as a neurotypical soccer mom. Besides we don't even like sports in my house my son is in the robotics club.
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Old 05-13-18, 01:38 PM
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Re: Dating Predicament

Google "social skills and autism" ... or "social skills intervention" and autism and you will find a ton of literature.

Any therapist who works with autism has to have a significant focus on social skills ...

Tons of books on same subject ... practice reading people's facial expressions ... how to stand when talking to people ... how to stand when joining a group conversation ... how to enter a group conversation ... all of those things can be practiced ...

I am not on the spectrum but I have had to learn a lot of social skills in the past years ... I'm a teacher ... and for years, I could not tell whether my students were bored with me ... or tired ... one day, I noticed that students didn't seem interested in what I was saying ... they seemed bored ... and then I noticed someone who yawned and slumped in his chair ... And I said, "are you guys tired today?" Whole class screamed, "yes"! ...

I practiced this more times ... every time I would think they were tired, I would say so and see the reaction ... And pretty much I'm accurate ...

Breakthrough ... I can now distinguish between bored students and tired students ... When I assumed they were bored, I would get insecure ... When students are tired, I don't take that personally ...

These are small examples ... but there are many other examples ...

There are all kinds of untalked about social cues that if you don't learn them unconsciously ... you have to learn them consciously ...

Couples who have been dating a few weeks walk down the street standing more close to each other ... than couples who have been together for 10 years or 20 years ... Huge difference ... You can start noticing those differences.
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