Relationship anxiety

[Funky1]

Hey everyone! Long time no see. Wanted to pose a question to the group, I've been dealing with some issues that I had pretty much forgotten about over the last two years of being single but now I am in a serious relationship and things are coming to a head yet again.

Anywho, I've noticed the last few times I've gotten involved with someone on any sort of a serious level that my anxiety, which it's pretty much non-existent when I'm single, flares up like I can't even believe. Like to the point where I think it could potentially ruin what is looking to be a very good thing. I know everything is in my head, I know I'm an over-thinker, I know all of my worrying is unfounded... But that doesn't change the fact that it makes it really difficult to sustain a healthy relationship. Wondering if any of you have similar experiences, and if so what you have done successfully to alleviate or at least lessen the impact that it has on your life and your relationships. I really think this is the big one, and the last thing I want to do is ruin it because of my personal issues. Especially when I know that they're my own issues. Thanks in advance!

[benito]

Something similar happens to me. Almost three years ago I broke up with my girlfriend and although I tried to start some relationships, in a few days I notice that I lose control of the situation and that I worry too much, and I just left it. I can't help you, since we are in the same case, but the answers will be good for me too.

[benito]

I have to tell you that more than once I have considered staying alone and not starting any relationship because I can imagine the outcome. I guess there are several of us in this case. What to do in these cases?

my social anxiety is an extra handicap

[benito]

I resume the post, does anyone feel the same?

[Lunacie]

Am just now seeing this. Have you ever tried CBT or DBT ... therapy?
A chance to talk about how the last relationship made you feel ...
and think about what you want to feel in a new relationship?

[benito]

I have google cbt therapy ... I have been seeing a psychologist for about a year now. I have improved many things, but finding a partner is very difficult for me. First, contact with new people is difficult, although I have improved a lot. I'm afraid to start a relationship and then go wrong. I've tried apps like meetic and tinder, but I haven't found anyone to share my life with. Sometimes I think it is better to be alone, unless I find a person with whom I am really comfortable ...

[benito]

I don't think I'm looking for a perfect person. I settle for an empathetic person, with a good background (good heart) and who understands how I am.

[benito]

The last relationship was broken by distance. She is 600km away, and it became very difficult for me to carry the relationship. She is a very empathetic person and understood me perfectly, but the distance ...

[benito]

I will discuss this topic with the psychologist at the next visit. Just talking about it here has helped me.

Thanks, Lunacie.

[Funky1]

I'm pretty sure I found my perfect person. She's a lot more understanding of my condition than anyone else I've ever been with before, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't still cause problems. As for CBT... I'd be down to try just about anything repeat I could if I was able to stay with a company long enough to retain benefits that actually got me what I needed. As of right now I and without insurance and I'm only able to try to supplement the medication I have left over from before when I was insured. I really don't think Dex is the answer anymore, but it's what I have so it's what I use.

I've also been looking into meditation and mindfulness exercises, yoga, things like that. As I mentioned, in most aspects of my life I have confidence in the ability to function just fine. But for some reason relationships get me every time. I am head over heels in love with this girl, but my anxiety is already starting to rear its head and it's beginning to cause problems that I know if left unchecked will only lead to disaster. I just don't understand why I can be fully aware of the fact that everything is in my head, but it doesn't help me avoid it causing problems in my personal life. It's so frustrating!