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Old 02-28-17, 07:51 AM
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Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

What would you say best describes you more? I feel like I don't want to study, although I should want to study and if I "made" myself study, then everything would be ok. But I can't seem to make myself want to study, even although I "need" to study.
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Old 02-28-17, 09:05 AM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

I think with adhd it's often the case that

1. You can't make yourself to feel like studying

2. If you don't feel like studying you can't do it.

Making yourself study is not easy. There's no just about it. It used to take a lot for me to study, most importantly lots of deadlines and stress, interest, easily accessible good quality study material, nothing else to distract me, etc...
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Old 02-28-17, 01:35 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

It's really annoying though.... because it's like I "should" feel like studying. I understand the importance of studying, especially high level material. But just thinking about all the reading, writing, listening, note taking involved makes me shut down big time.
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Old 02-28-17, 01:41 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

I remember at college I had to have someone from student support helping me when I was trying to study outside of lesson time because I really struggled
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Old 02-28-17, 01:42 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

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I remember at college I had to have someone from student support helping me when I was trying to study outside of lesson time because I really struggled
Yeah, me too. I'm going back to college again and they're going to fix me up with a tutor. Not really sure how helpful that will be though.
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Old 02-28-17, 02:23 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

When you actually can't do any particular thing, and you've already experienced that inability in the past, then you're quite likely to also not feel like trying again - because you don't want to waste time, ruin the project, or feel guilty or discouraged or embarrassed.

That means it's often very hard to figure out the correct answer to "Am I unable, or do I just not feel like it?" The only way I can think of to get better answers to this question is

- deeper knowledge of ADHD and/or other conditions involved, and deeper knowledge of yourself.
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Old 02-28-17, 05:41 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

It took me six years to finish my four year degree as an adult because I just couldn't make myself study or finish assignments. I was lucky enough that the second time I did the unit with the 10,000 word essay I was able to find a topic that interested me and that I already New a lot about. It's hard for sure.

My advice, which it took me way to long to do myself, is to get help. There's no shame, get help early and often from whoever you can. Don't get overwhelmed, fall in a hole and lie to everyone like I did. It doesn't end well! Just being on this board is a good start because everyone here will know where you're coming from.

Good luck, and remember, it is harder for you than for most people but you're not alone!
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Old 03-01-17, 06:15 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

Honestly the best tip I was given is that I can do something, even when I don't feel like it. Truth be told, I'm never gonna feel like doing something boring. But I do focus on being able to finish because then I won't have to think k about it, because I get bored of my own repetitive thoughts at times haha.

It's hard as **** at first. But slowly it gets easier. (doing something even if you don't feel like it)

I have to be careful though, cuz if I do this too much it becomes draining. But I no longer have to force myself as much as I once did - might be I'm better at managing my energy levels. Started off simply, choosing one task a day I DIDNT want to do. It would be short, like fill out a form. Would take me an hour to fill out the 3 basic pages at first... Slowly it got easier and still now every day I'll choose ONE thing I don't want to do... And now I'm better noticing when I'm running away from things I don't want to do, and if I'm running away I'll catch myself and run towards it instead. Just to see if I can do it, make a game out of conquering myself.

Sometimes also helps to listen to what I feel though. Else if I'm 24/7 thinking about how I should be studying, I have no mention break and I start hating on it. And procrastinating more. So if I really don't have to study and I can out it off, I'll consciously do that and give myself a break, play games and let me do it. Chances are I'll regenerate enough energy to be able to do it later. If I'm drained, there's no way I have enough energy to spot when I'm running away, no energy to make me stop. I become the runaway train, not the driver.

However, I could only learn these things after uni. I've gone back to education after I graduated, because I do love learning things, but I fortunately had time to have a break, reflect and take time to develop better habits. No ******* way I could in uni. Wish I'd have gone at 21 instead of 18!
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Old 03-03-17, 01:20 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

Keep in mind that getting a job that best reflects your University studies is in itself a lifetime University. It's just that there's no finals but there is work, there are papers and reports you need to submit in tight deadlines so the activity in itself is pretty much what you have to deal with during University.

So whether it is that you cannot get yourself to study or you can't study, I suggest doing something you like instead or you run the risk of not being able to deliver once you get hired, despite passing all your finals and graduating University.
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Old 03-03-17, 02:49 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

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Honestly the best tip I was given is that I can do something, even when I don't feel like it. Truth be told, I'm never gonna feel like doing something boring. But I do focus on being able to finish because then I won't have to think about it, because I get bored of my own repetitive thoughts at times haha.

It's hard as **** at first. But slowly it gets easier. (doing something even if you don't feel like it)

I have to be careful though, cuz if I do this too much it becomes draining. But I no longer have to force myself as much as I once did - might be I'm better at managing my energy levels. Started off simply, choosing one task a day I DIDNT want to do. It would be short, like fill out a form. Would take me an hour to fill out the 3 basic pages at first... Slowly it got easier and still now every day I'll choose ONE thing I don't want to do... And now I'm better noticing when I'm running away from things I don't want to do, and if I'm running away I'll catch myself and run towards it instead. Just to see if I can do it, make a game out of conquering myself.

Sometimes also helps to listen to what I feel though. Else if I'm 24/7 thinking about how I should be studying, I have no mention break and I start hating on it. And procrastinating more. So if I really don't have to study and I can out it off, I'll consciously do that and give myself a break, play games and let me do it. Chances are I'll regenerate enough energy to be able to do it later. If I'm drained, there's no way I have enough energy to spot when I'm running away, no energy to make me stop. I become the runaway train, not the driver.
That's just it. All of the "can't do it vs won't do it" in the original question comes down to "Yes, of course you can, but how much will it cost?"

The assumption from people without ADHD is that any task will cost me the same as it would cost them to do the same task. Often, the cost for them to do a particular task feels sufficiently close to zero that they don't even consider it worth calculating. People who don't have ADHD can be surprised or not believe that things are different for those who do have it - "Seriously? Come on, this isn't difficult."

And I often misjudge, sometimes wildly, how difficult or draining a certain task will end up being for me, especially if it's something "emotionally heavy".

Then again, maybe being constantly in a state of high stress (from things not done yet) and having a low ability to handle that stress (due to emotional dysregulation) IS a legitimate reason to avoid tasks that come with excessive emotional turmoil.

Except then they never get done, the stress continues to increase, the urgency increases right along with it, until a Chernobyl-like disaster occurs, and just like the Soviet government I cover the disaster zone in concrete and try to forget that it happened.

Good times.
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Old 03-03-17, 06:07 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

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Keep in mind that getting a job that best reflects your University studies is in itself a lifetime University. It's just that there's no finals but there is work, there are papers and reports you need to submit in tight deadlines so the activity in itself is pretty much what you have to deal with during University.

So whether it is that you cannot get yourself to study or you can't study, I suggest doing something you like instead or you run the risk of not being able to deliver once you get hired, despite passing all your finals and graduating University.
Problem is, I don't seem to like anything that involves studying. Or I don't like the studying aspect to things, even if i'm interested in a particular profession.

I want to "get there" without putting the hard work in to "get there". Which obviously isn't going to happen.
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Old 03-03-17, 08:40 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

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Problem is, I don't seem to like anything that involves studying. Or I don't like the studying aspect to things, even if i'm interested in a particular profession.

I want to "get there" without putting the hard work in to "get there". Which obviously isn't going to happen.
Fraser, do you realize we live in a zoo called Earth, surrounded by Death millions of light years all around, and unlike other animals which vegetate, in other words, exist for no good reason, we humans are the only thing that stands in Death's way, through our ability to:

1) Learn
2) Pass on what we learned to the next generation

The rate at which we do that is Humanity's reaction rate, and the final product of the reaction is immortality, or the persistence of life and life becoming more than an insignificant occurrence, that would otherwise disappear as easily as it appeared. When this process is broken, I don't think there will be hope for anyone or anything. Think about it, if there was an advanced alien species out there, we would already be that, and there would be no such thing as being born. Our birth according to me confirms that there's not much else left of the explosion. So we have no choice but to keep learning and rebuilt whatever blew up during the Big Bang.

Isn't that a good enough motivation?

I know our learning process is slow, if we were computers we could transfer information around much easier, but it's what we have right now. We have no other choice.
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Old 03-04-17, 12:22 AM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
What would you say best describes you more? I feel like I don't want to study, although I should want to study and if I "made" myself study, then everything would be ok. But I can't seem to make myself want to study, even although I "need" to study.
I'm a mature age student with life long ADHD. I'm studying part time, doing 2 out of 4 subjects each trimester (I have to in order to stay on top of it, and even then it consumes all my time). The thing is, up until now I have enjoyed the perks of hyperfocus. But this term, despite sitting at my desk, eager and willing to study all day, my brain just isn't working! I am absolutely familiar with the invisible brick wall that can appear between me and a task if I can't achieve the right head space / motivation / enthusiasm to jump into it, but this is different. This is me showing up, and my brain isn't. It feels like my meds aren't working. I've tried coming at it a million different ways: pushing through, watching YouTube lectures & animated videos, drawing diagrams & mind maps, listening to podcasts. But I'm reading paragraphs over and over and they're just not going in.
I've come to this forum because despite perhaps being well read in ADHD, or knowing someone intimitley with ADHD, non adhders don't seem to get it.. other than my Dr.. They don't get that it's like working with broken machinery. It's more than being vague, forgetful, having a wicked imagination thats way more enticing than reality, &/or not being able to break down that blastard invisible wall that's always popping up in your way; it's also plainly and simply that your brain doesn't do what you tell it to. The amount of will power it takes to make progress is monstrous, this image of ADHDers being undisciplined is another subconscious notion most people hold without knowing it, and in my experience it couldn't be further from the truth!
So I take a break & try again, & when that doesn't work, I think 'it's clearly not going to happen today, might as well do something else'. But you can only do that so many times before your failing & throwing thousands of dollars in student fees down the drain.
Well today I'm ******! I've had enough! And I'm over it!!
Time for some wine.
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Old 03-04-17, 06:18 AM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

Fraser is it a particular kind of studying or literally every single imagineable way of doing anything academic? Is it reading, questions and answers, studying or all of it?
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Old 03-04-17, 08:25 PM
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Re: Can't Study vs Don't Feel Like It

I'm a teacher. Do I ever feel like grading papers, as I'm doing this weekend? Uh, no! ... and I don't even ask myself that question anymore. What gets me to grade or do the other work?

Well, for one, I want to keep my job. So that encourages me to get going. I want students to feel like I'm a good teacher, so that gets me going.

There is also the negative. To be blunt, not working is just as miserable--or MORE miserable--than working. Because when I'm avoiding work, I know it and feel it and worry about it and fret about it and feel guilty about it. Jeez, much easier to just do the doggone work.

Sometimes I have to set a 5-minute timer to get started. I do that a couple of times and it doesn't take long for my brain to realize, "hey, this isn't going to kill me." ... And I can keep going ...Sometimes I watch television in the background. Often I use music to get me over my start-up anxiety. I play some music, always some of my favorites and I can get to working without a lot of pain.

One thing I've learned is to be really aware of how I talk to myself about work I want to do. If I tell myself, "this is gonna be a major pain," then yes, I will avoid the work.

Really, the most helpful move I've learned in the past ten years is to focus on how good I will feel when the work is done. How relieved and positive I will feel compared to avoiding the work and delaying the work.

Frankly, when it comes to predicting how I will feel after starting an activity, my brain simply doesn't work. I can't tell you the number of times people have invited me to movies or parties or other gatherings and my first reaction was, "I don't really feel like it." Sometimes I REALLY didn't feel like it ... as I have had a problem with depression. And yet, I've learned, my brain is TERRIBLE at predicting whether I will have a good time. Time after time, I have dragged myself out only to have a blast after I get there.

Literally, in my case, there is almost no correlation--none, the brain just can't get it right--between how much I feel like doing something and how good I will feel once I do the thing. So if I generally know that doing such and such is good for me, I try to drag myself to the activity--even if I don't feel like it.

Just a few cents ....

Tone
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