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Old 11-03-11, 12:14 PM
ZugTheMegasauru ZugTheMegasauru is offline
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Miserable Without Depression??

Hopefully I have this in the right subforum (I didn't want to put it in Depression because I don't think I'm depressed, but that's the subject of this post).

I was diagnosed with ADHD back in September and have been on medication since, which is tremendously helpful. I can think and focus and feel sane.

My problem is that I'm still completely miserable (and now I can actually recognize it). The question I have is based on the fact that everyone I try to talk to tells me that I'm depressed and need treatment for that too. But I don't think I'm clinically depressed; I think I'm legitimately miserable. I'll describe my situation.

I'm a 25 year old law student. I don't care about school and never do the work (even the times I try to sit down and do the work, I just can't bring myself to do it). I don't care about my career because I'll screw it up anyway. I don't see anything positive happening in the future, so I prefer to avoid thinking about it. I'm certain that my boyfriend of eight years is eventually going to realize that I'm not worth the time or effort and leave. I have no talents. I have no good qualities. I'm not good at anything. Nothing interests me. I don't have any friends and I avoid my family as much as possible so I don't have to deal with the crushing guilt of being a disappointment.

So yeah, it SOUNDS like depression, but I think that implies that I'm wrong about it. Everything I'm saying is, as far as I know (and I recognize that I'm not infallible) entirely correct. It's true that I have nothing to offer and possess no value; there's no way around that. It seems to me that people who are depressed actually have worth and value; they just don't recognize it because of the depression. But with me, I'm miserable BECAUSE of these things, not the other way around.

I guess I'm asking for clarification from anyone who might know better than me. It seems like it would be profoundly dishonest for me to seek treatment for depression when I deserve to feel bad (based on the fact that I am actually devoid of any good). So is it possible to just be miserable and self-loathing without it being the result of some sort of pathology? I mean, not everyone should feel good about themselves; some of us shouldn't.

Thanks for any insight in advance.
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