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  #1  
Old 12-11-12, 02:03 AM
pwMody pwMody is offline
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Just sharing my pain~

So I'm here to get this off my chest
I was never diagnosed with ADD because basically my family was always saying when I was young "You're fine, Nothing is wrong with you! You just need to work harder!" ..And I was!! I was working harder than alot of other people who were getting really great grades, It just that although I was forcing myself to try to focus it just...wasn't working!
It's been like that my whole life. I'd sit in front of my books for 6 hours straight just to study 2~4 pages...A math homework that would usually take others 30~60 minutes to solve would take me 5 hours!! ..Because simply just after every problem, I would stand up and just walk around the house while day dreaming! and wake up 30 minutes later!
It was always really hard to focus on reading...I would keep reading without really having any attention to what I'm reading..especially trying to read novels/stories, It was hard for me!
But anyway, That was when I was younger
People never understood what ADD is and whenever I talked about it "Oh, Maybe you're just imagining things!" .. It's a nightmare trying to explain to people..

It's now affecting me in my work..I work independently and I don't think I'm getting much done which causes me to cancel projects! I'm an art person too so I'm practicing drawing and playing music beside my work (programming) ..But I'm too distracted to practice! I don't get things done!

And even watching tv shows is hard..I have these shows that I want to watch but unless it's VERY interesting I can't get myself to start the episodes and watch them(and if i do sometimes I feel I'm forcing myself and all what I could think of is just pausing and walking around the house) ..Even playing video games is hard for me! I can't get myself to play for some time, And I'm discouraged anyway because I'll have to go to the console and start it!! And I get that feeling when I play that I get when I watch things, The urge to pause and just walk to random places in my house and daydream

And writing any block of text takes me a really really long time!! It's been almost like 90 minutes since I started writing this ..And as a result I get really late replying to messages/emails sometimes..or writing forums posts

I wasn't diagnosed yet but I'm planning to soon(I know for a fact that I do have ADD )..Will medication make me really a normal person? How does it affect you guys?

I'm really sorry for writing this huge block of text above..But it just feels as i finally found someone who understands..
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Old 12-11-12, 05:05 AM
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Raye Raye is offline
 

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Re: Just sharing my pain~

Hi and welcome

I'm not sure what the term normal means when referring to ADD. 8 months ago I was diagnosed at age 32, always knew something was wrong but couldn't pin point it.

At first i was relieved & elated to discover that there was a term that described most of my life's issues. Then it turned to anger & grief and sadness over all the coulda woulda shoulda been's that I missed out on.

I can take responsibility for my actions, but I'm still angry at what ADD has caused in my life and my kids lives.

I love my mother to death, I know she means well but she is the ' you're just imagining things, you can do it if you try, you just have to think positive ' type of person. It's hard to deal with close people like that in your life

It also takes me some time to write posts, and it's ok if they are long, but I think the members ( I know I do) like it when the text is broke down as I have it above and not one big clusterf*** text, lol.

You'll find alot of support here, the members are great and i feel this is a 'second home' as no one really understands what I go thru except these guys

In closing, it's my personal opinion that ADD is treatable but I'll never know what 'normal' is.
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Old 12-11-12, 05:15 AM
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Re: Just sharing my pain~

Normal is a dirty word .....
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Old 12-11-12, 05:31 AM
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Re: Just sharing my pain~

Quote:
Originally Posted by pwMody View Post


It's now affecting me in my work..I work independently and I don't think I'm getting much done which causes me to cancel projects! I'm an art person too so I'm practicing drawing and playing music beside my work (programming) ..But I'm too distracted to practice! I don't get things done!



I wasn't diagnosed yet but I'm planning to soon(I know for a fact that I do have ADD )..Will medication make me really a normal person? How does it affect you guys?

I'm really sorry for writing this huge block of text above..But it just feels as i finally found someone who understands..
Medication alone won't make you a "normal person", it also takes a degree of self discipline and hard work on your part. You could take adderall and read the dictionary for 2 hours if you want, but if that's not your assignment, do you consider it productive because you sat and read for 2 hours or a waste of time because you sat and read a meaningless book for 2 hours? The medicine will help, but a great deal of the responsibility is still on you. I am capable of getting a lot done with the help of adderall but I can also waste an incredible amount of time if I don't focus on the right stuff.
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Old 12-11-12, 06:07 AM
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Re: Just sharing my pain~

I was diagnosed at 32 too and I have/am experiencing all the feelings, grief etc too. I also look at all the positives and be proud of what I have and can and will achieve.

I worry for my son because he is more severely affected and things are hard for him but I'm looking and fighting for ways to help him in the most holistic way possible.

I do lots of googling on Adhd and whatever else get's my attention and I'm realising that I need help sorting all the info and advice/stratigies etc into some form of order
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