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Old 04-05-18, 09:29 PM
kasey_ca kasey_ca is offline
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What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Hi all... new here.

Going through a difficult time with my 9 year old daughter. She is smart as a whip, there is no debating this, but she is struggling in school. Her grades have been sliding steadily since last year, and she has gone from being considered above grade level in many areas, to just being average, or slightly below.

She has a wonderful teacher, and when I've approached her about the possibility of adhd-inattentive, she told me that as my daughter is achieving appropriately in school, that it isn't an issue. That yes, she is a "dreamer" but isn't affecting her. But it is absolutely affecting her, we are having to work with her more and more at home, and tonight I left her with some tests that were sent home with poor results, to work on the questions she got wrong, and an hour later I went to her and she had done absolutely nothing. She just cannot do her work unless we are there holding her hand and quite literally forcing her to do it.

Anyways, going to have to pursue this with a child psychologist, because we feel there just has to be more going on. She does most things in her life quite poorly (sports, piano) not because of lack of talent, but what I have always considered a lack of effort. She does not seem to have a passion for anything that we can find, she does not play well alone, she has two sisters who she is amazing with, but she just flits from activity to activity and has always been this way.

Anyways.... long and rambling... but besides the obvious adhd-inattentive symptoms, are there other ways adhd children are similar? Just more curious than anything. Like my daughter seems to be quite immature for her age. She is still happy making "mud soup" outside, while some of her friends are starting to talk about makeup and different things. Struggling to know what to do with her, without the teachers support we could not get a diagnosis from our doctor, so going to have to pursue the psychologist route.

Thanks all. Forgive my long and rambling post. Especially frustrated tonight having spent 4 hours on homework that should have taken at most 45 minutes.

Last edited by namazu; 04-05-18 at 09:39 PM.. Reason: Added some line breaks for easier reading. Welcome to ADDF! :)
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Old 04-05-18, 09:41 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

This is kind of random, but being glued to TV and video games (more so than the typical kid).
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Old 04-05-18, 09:42 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

The only things my daughter can do for a sustained period of time... tv and her iPad.
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Old 04-05-18, 11:21 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

I'll be if you start reading this thread: You know your child is adhd when . . .
http://www.addforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49258 . . . a lot of
those things will sound familiar.

Girls are people pleasers so if they don't have any hyperactivity teachers don't
realize anything is wrong. My oldest granddaughter was 10 before her home
room teacher saw that at least 3 days a week I was rushing her back to school
to pick up homework or books that she had forgotten. Sometimes we were
lucky and got there before the teacher locked the door and went home, but
not always.

And then after she did the homework . . . yeah, she always forgot to turn it in.
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Old 04-06-18, 07:09 AM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

I have two ADHD kids. One 15 year old boy who is ADD one 9 year old girl who is AHD. Everything you have described is like my son....inattentive. Sadly, it gets worse. Once puberty really started kicking in around age 11 the space cadet issues went up about 200%! Teachers for 9 year olds are still allowing space cadet things as part of quirky children, they aren't trained to spot the true signs, but as the kid progresses through school the teachers become less accepting.

By 8th grade my son was being sent to the office every other day for the stupidest things I have ever heard of. Not raising his hand, throwing something out without permission, humming, tapping the top of the door jam, interrupting a teacher with a question, and on and on. Nothing violent, nothing disrespectful, but yet in trouble ALL the time! At home I was having to tell him when tests where, when projects were due, and I spent every day going over his teachers websites, e-mailing them, trying to keep him afloat. The school said he wasn't failing so they didn't see a problem. I said he's not failing because I spent hours a day keeping him afloat, there is a problem. They just wouldn't listen so I finally stopped. I told him "The school says you can do this without me. I'd like to see okay. You won't be in trouble for your grades right now but I need to see you trying your best.".....the result....he started failing everything except advanced math which he had an A in. However, it got bad, really bad, he started telling his teachers and me that he was too stupid to go to school, that he was going to drop out in 10th grade, when he was allowed.

It's best to get her help before the situation is as desperate as ours was. Good luck.
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Old 04-06-18, 07:10 AM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

P.S. My kids aren't glued to the TV/ipad/video system. So that's not a clear sign.
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Old 04-06-18, 11:26 AM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Your message really speaks to me... my daughter does well in school because of us. Because I chase her and work with her, and I just cannot let her fail. I can't let her fall. I bring her homework to school at recess, I pack her lunch, school books, book bag, and I place it on her back on the way out the door when she forgets. Her teachers advice - let her go. She'll learn. There are consequences. But when I have let her forget, on things that are important to her (forget her toy on toy day at daycare, forget her favourite book for a long car ride...) it doesn't change anything for the next time. But it seems the teachers input is all my doctor values??
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Old 04-06-18, 12:23 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kasey_ca View Post
Your message really speaks to me... my daughter does well in school because of us. Because I chase her and work with her, and I just cannot let her fail. I can't let her fall. I bring her homework to school at recess, I pack her lunch, school books, book bag, and I place it on her back on the way out the door when she forgets. Her teachers advice - let her go. She'll learn. There are consequences. But when I have let her forget, on things that are important to her (forget her toy on toy day at daycare, forget her favourite book for a long car ride...) it doesn't change anything for the next time. But it seems the teachers input is all my doctor values??
I'm in the US, so I don't know how things work there. However, at my son's school I was able to ask them to test him, and it was free. The older he got the less he understood what the teachers wanted from him. He would do his homework but leave it at home or in his locker, or not realize he had a test that day. It was horrible! The more they tried to fit him into a box the worse it got. He isn't a rowdy kid that needs very specific rules without leniency, he is a kid who is lost. He comes off as a stoned surfer dude. I can't tell you how many times he has been approached about drugs because he appears to be on them, he is so spacey!

For ADHD to be diagnosed she has to exhibit these signs in more than one area. This means school and home, or camp and home....something other than just home. My son's school had the teachers do the "scales", these are a bunch of questions about the kid, and the answers are Never, sometimes, often, and always. the questions are about the kid...Do you find the child has trouble staying still. Do you find the child is unable to sit in their chair for longer than 10 minutes. Do you find the child doesn't like change. Does the child have a messy room. Does the child get along with his peers....etc. it gives a wide scope of how the child is perceived at home and at school. Do they have those?
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Old 04-06-18, 12:57 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Yes. She completed this form. She gave her all "sometimes" in all the attention-related categories. However, her ringette coach mentions how "spacey" she is, and also her piano teacher. She's the kid who, if left to dress herself, will go out on the ice missing one elbow pad. But the teacher just doesn't see it. Her class is also at capacity, and my daughter is a pleaser, and not disruptive in the slightest. I think that has a lot to do with it. Kind of at a loss with how to proceed, without the teacher's assistance.
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Old 04-06-18, 01:01 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

I read through your post and it struck a chord. It sounds like you are a concerned parent trying to do the best you can to improve the quality of life for your child. I can honestly say that I donít agree or disagree with you seeking a diagnosis for your child. I donít know you. So I canít really make assumptions. Which gives a person a great perspective sometimes to look at things objectively. We all try to be objective in our reasoning but tend to fall short of emotionally attached. Typically a loving parent knows there child better than anyone and usually get it right when knowing what is best for them, ultimately. I just thought I might try to share my oerspective as a parent and a person with ADD. ADD diagnosis in children have been put under a lot of scrunity. And I believe for good reason. Not that I believe one way or another, but it helps put it in perspective, with the truth somewhere in between. Opinions range widely, some people believe ADD is misdiagnosed constantly because teachers wonít deal with Kids being kids so they medicate them to act like little adults, making there job easier. On the flip I could argue that ADD is diagnosed by a professional trained in detecting certain behaviors. Also, ADD meds have been proven effective in treating ADD in children, the good of the meds ultimately outweighs the bad. In contrast some meds are stimulants which have been proven addictive and with these meds tolerance starts to grow, making the medication ineffective in the long run. I make these points because parents tend to drive themselves mad on trying to decide whatís right for their child. Look at it objectively, you are doing something to help your child. Trust your decision as a parent, because it will be the right decision.
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Old 04-06-18, 03:23 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kasey_ca View Post
Yes. She completed this form. She gave her all "sometimes" in all the attention-related categories. However, her ringette coach mentions how "spacey" she is, and also her piano teacher. She's the kid who, if left to dress herself, will go out on the ice missing one elbow pad. But the teacher just doesn't see it. Her class is also at capacity, and my daughter is a pleaser, and not disruptive in the slightest. I think that has a lot to do with it. Kind of at a loss with how to proceed, without the teacher's assistance.
I would ask for evaluation forms for the ringette coach and the piano teacher
to fill out, giving as a reason that they work with her in a smaller group or one-
on-one and that the homeroom teacher has so many kids it's hard to notice
one quiet, spacey kiddo.
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Old 04-06-18, 06:00 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Thank-you... I'm going around and around in circles, and am absolutely so very emotionally attached. It is outside my comfort zone to reach out to a psychologist, but this is about her, and not me. I think she needs to see someone who can tell us if what she is experiencing is "normal" for a 9 year old. I think to a certain extent, some of this is completely normal. Everyone forgets things occasionally. We all get caught "dreaming" occasionally. But the gap between my daughter and her peers seems to be growing. And I don't want to have to let her fail, to have her arrive at school with no book bag, no homework, no lunch. I just can't do that to her. So if there is something to treat, I'd rather treat now.
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Old 04-07-18, 06:23 AM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Viktor View Post
I just thought I might try to share my oerspective as a parent and a person with ADD. ADD diagnosis in children have been put under a lot of scrunity. And I believe for good reason. Not that I believe one way or another, but it helps put it in perspective, with the truth somewhere in between. Opinions range widely, some people believe ADD is misdiagnosed constantly because teachers wonít deal with Kids being kids so they medicate them to act like little adults, making there job easier. On the flip I could argue that ADD is diagnosed by a professional trained in detecting certain behaviors. Also, ADD meds have been proven effective in treating ADD in children, the good of the meds ultimately outweighs the bad. In contrast some meds are stimulants which have been proven addictive and with these meds tolerance starts to grow, making the medication ineffective in the long run. I make these points because parents tend to drive themselves mad on trying to decide whatís right for their child. Look at it objectively, you are doing something to help your child. Trust your decision as a parent, because it will be the right decision.
How have stimulants been proven to be addictive?
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Old 04-07-18, 07:26 AM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Something I thought off.

ADHD or Not ADHD- expecting a 9 year old to correct test mistakes after she has been in school all day is a bit much dont you think? Here my kids are in school and out of the house nearly 8 hours. The homework is already a useless PITA in my opinion but to have a 9 year old go to school all day, do poorly and have to come home and work on the mistakes and then after an hour having made no progress she realizes she's upset you? If she has adhd this furthers the spiral of low self esteem and feeling like a failure thought process. If she doesnt have adhd thus furthers the spiral of low self esteem and feeling like a failure thought process. See what I mean?
Kids need breaks and they need to be kids.
I know there is tons of debate about screen time and kids. I let mine use their devices whenever they want provided they get good grades, do not do it during dinner or family time, do not allow it to interfere with their sleep or give them social drama. I have been that way their whole lives with tv/then video games and now phones. I have very engaged and pretty smart kids who like to talk and laugh and be with people. I think a lot more of it depends on the way kids and parents interact.
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Old 04-07-18, 12:57 PM
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Re: What are other "hallmark" symptoms of add?

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Viktor View Post

ADD diagnosis in children have been put under a lot of scrunity. And I believe for good reason. Not that I believe one way or another, but it helps put it in perspective, with the truth somewhere in between. Opinions range widely, some people believe ADD is misdiagnosed constantly because teachers wonít deal with Kids being kids so they medicate them to act like little adults, making there job easier.

On the flip I could argue that ADD is diagnosed by a professional trained in detecting certain behaviors. Also, ADD meds have been proven effective in treating ADD in children, the good of the meds ultimately outweighs the bad.

In contrast some meds are stimulants which have been proven addictive and with these meds tolerance starts to grow, making the medication ineffective in the long run. I make these points because parents tend to drive themselves mad on trying to decide whatís right for their child. Look at it objectively, you are doing something to help your child. Trust your
I had a headache yesterday so didn't even try to read your wall-o-text post.
Paragraph breaks are very helpful to reading, especially for those of us with
adhd - or with vision problems - or both (like me).


Those people who believe that teachers want to medicate students are totally
ignorant. Teachers have no choice in this. They can gently suggest a parent
get a child tested, but they don't diagnose anything and they don't medicate
anyone.

It's up to the doctor and the parents to diagnose and decide to try meds or not.
The "good of the meds" does not "ultimately outweigh the bad." When meds
are tried, it's a delicate balancing act between the benefits and the side effects.

And tolerance to stimulant meds is not a foregone conclusion. Many people do
take stimulant medication for many years with good effect.

Just pointing out a couple of concerns I have with your post, what I like about
forums like this is we can all discuss why and how we agree or disagree with
each other.
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