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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 05-21-18, 08:03 PM
DiannW DiannW is offline
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Driven women with ADHD

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum & this is my first post. I was not correctly identified with ADHD until late in life, after several careers and a couple of marriages. I am particularly interested in connecting with others ( especially but not exclusively women) who did well in school and were fairly successful in their careers, but struggled with massive impostor complex, perfectionism and the exhaustion of trying desperately to "pass for normal". As for me, I have always felt self conscious about standing out, but it was impossible for me to fit in too. Have always felt shamed for being too bold, ambitious, direct, driven, outspoken, etc. These traits may be intimidating in a man, in a woman they are shamed and shunned. I'm ready to take off the emergency brake and finally let myself get into high gear and would love to find others who feel the same. Thanks for reading this post. I know how little tolerance we have for being bored !
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  #2  
Old 05-23-18, 02:19 PM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

So what do you plan to do off the brake ?
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Old 06-09-18, 11:54 PM
JellyBeanBear JellyBeanBear is offline
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Sitting here ...not sure what to say (rare event ..thinking I'm just reflecting on what you're saying in my own life..).....but nodding at everything you said ....and just wanted to let you now - you're not alone ...
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Old 06-10-18, 06:53 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Sounds you are quite the whipper-snapper and that you have been quite successful ... so I don't see how the ADHD has hindered you ... Can you say a little more about that? ... It's my understanding that a lot of women and men (and there has been a lot of recent research on women) have that "impostor" syndrome issue and lots of women have struggled with how to be effective leaders given male stereotypes about women ...

So those issues transcend ADHD ... But ... of course, my view is that ADHD makes every other problem worse ...

But say more ...
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Old 06-10-18, 06:59 PM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

I was fairly successful in school. Not always but when it mattered. I'm.less successful at work and I'm incredibly ashamed to say it but I'm definitely not driven. All I want is an interesting job with pleasant people, ideally one where I can actually think I'm.makings tiny little bit of a difference.

Anyway what is imposter syndrome?
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Old 06-10-18, 08:05 PM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I was fairly successful in school. Not always but when it mattered. I'm.less successful at work and I'm incredibly ashamed to say it but I'm definitely not driven. All I want is an interesting job with pleasant people, ideally one where I can actually think I'm.makings tiny little bit of a difference.

Anyway what is imposter syndrome?
Basically a nagging feeling that no matter what you do or how good you are that you are a fake and that people are going to find out. I deal with this too.

I'm an extreme perfectionist. All or nothing thinking. I must always succeed at everything or I'm a failure. That means it really sucks for me when I make a mistake. With bipolar. While I'm medicated I'm not entirely free of mood swings and and having extreme emotions. When I'm down I'm waaaay down. Some days it feels like the earth just drops out from underneath me.

I've been told I need to be more confident and more assertive. Except I'm in a male dominated field so I'm up against cocky and egotistical. I really don't want to play the male politics. But I'm getting to a point in my career where I don't have a choice. Stagnate or play the one up game.

I don't have to pass for normal in my career thankfully. We are all f-in nuts.
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Old 06-11-18, 07:47 PM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
I don't have to pass for normal in my career thankfully. We are all f-in nuts.
^^^ life goals
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Old 06-26-18, 12:34 PM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by DiannW View Post
Hi everyone,
I am particularly interested in connecting with others ( especially but not exclusively women) who did well in school and were fairly successful in their careers, but struggled with massive impostor complex, perfectionism and the exhaustion of trying desperately to "pass for normal". As for me, I have always felt self conscious about standing out, but it was impossible for me to fit in too.
I identify with this in many ways! I have a bachelor's and a master's degree, and the work that I do is highly academic in nature, involving work with multiple foreign languages.

I did well in my studies, actually when I got my master's I graduated with the highest GPA in my class (though I should mention that my school was small so it was not a very big graduating class). I actually felt a bit guilty getting a reward for that - which seems strange now as I look back on it. But I knew I would be labeled as "smart" because of my good grades and the nature of my studies, but other people I considered to be smart seemed to get good grades with relatively little effort, while I had to work super hard and pretty much abandon my social life to get the same result. So I didn't really think I deserved to get a reward for being "smart", I actually felt like a fake. But I think differently now. The reward wasn't for being smart, it was for hard work.

I used to feel very self conscious at being "not normal" but that has lessened a lot. How boring would the world be if we were all "normal"? Some of the greatest people in history would not have been considered normal in their societies. Besides, I've gotten to do some really cool stuff in my life, and visit some really cool places, which I'm sure I wouldn't have done if I was "normal". Yeah, give me weird any day. It's much more fun.
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Old 08-07-18, 04:48 AM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Hi, Am new here, just got here, searching for the symptoms and help for adhd, I can never focus on one thing for too long. Like, a lot of the time it's because I get bored really quickly, but sometimes I will actually want to pay attention to something for more than a couple minutes and I end up realizing I got distracted with something else a minute ago. This is now effecting my everydayhealth and relation also.

Note: I'm 24, so it manifests a lot differently than it would in a child.
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Old 08-25-18, 03:22 PM
AngRob AngRob is offline
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

It sounds very similar to me. I excelled in school, excelled in work and sports. I definitely attribute it to hyperfocus. I self diagnosed after a counsellor suggested my husband may have ADD. I have always been an extremist, all or nothing. I would push myself to breaking points all the time. Dopamine seeking behaviours. Very impulsive. Risk taker. I decided to start treating myself after my biz had challenges because I thought the meds would help with impulsivity. I believe my impulsivity is why I am overweight and have trouble maintaining g a normal weight.

I can say I was extremely excited when I found out that I was adhd because I had answers for areas in my life that were extremely challenging.

Happy to connect with others and you arenít alone!
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Old 08-26-18, 06:24 AM
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Re: Driven women with ADHD

Are you being treated with meds for your adhd?
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