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General Parenting Issues The purpose of this forum is to discuss general parenting issues related to children with AD/HD(ADD & ADHD)

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  #76  
Old 08-17-18, 06:59 PM
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Re: She left

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I forget the statistics but the instances of relapse are significantly higher in people who go from rehab right back to the environment they left when they were abusing drugs and alcohol. Her abuse started way before she ran away. Plus she broke into the house, lied and stole, snuck out, etc. We would need to see her get some sober time under her belt before she moves back in. We are also trying to be cautious with Ella because she was absolutely traumatized by the crazy drama and chaos that Becca caused. We are trying to rennovate our front room to become our bedroom and then will rennovate our current bedroom to become Ella's room and the room that was shared by the two will become Becca's room assuming all the right stuff is worked on and she continues to move forward. Relapse is not a requirement but it is common in any circumstance but especially when you go from rehab right back to the place you were living. Lots of triggers that you need to be able to overcome and those skills take time.
Oh ok. Thanks for explaining it to me.
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  #77  
Old 08-18-18, 02:46 AM
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Re: She left

Glad things are going better, just read this whole thread and Sweets I think u took the right actions
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  #78  
Old 08-18-18, 06:16 PM
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Re: She left

What was she using or taking that was making her unpredictable or was it she just stopped taking her normal meds she needed?
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Old 08-19-18, 05:59 AM
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Re: She left

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Originally Posted by Rebelyell View Post
What was she using or taking that was making her unpredictable or was it she just stopped taking her normal meds she needed?
What I know for sure? Tons of alcohol and weed. Alcoholic drinking not experimentation. What she has said....cocaine, laced with an opiate. I know she has tried percocets and xanax's before. She is not at the right point in her sobriety to own up to all of it yet.
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Old 08-19-18, 10:36 AM
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Re: She left

I understand that and wish both of you well on her road to recovery
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  #81  
Old 11-13-18, 06:52 AM
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Re: She left

Another update on Becca: I have been meaning to do this for awhile now. I am not sure what I previously shared so I hope I do not repeat myself.
Rehab- then rehab sponsored halfway house. She started working for a house cleaner under the table which I told her was a bad idea and it didnt work out. They promised her 300-400$ a week and were not giving her the hours. Its not that she didnt work hard. She sent me video of a clean out and she was literally cleaning human feces off the toilet seat. She actually liked that job but when you are under the table they can treat you like sh*t and you have no recourse. Anyway...she had a boyfriend, and she knew how I felt about it. In recovery they tell you no major changes at least for the first year and that includes dating. I met the guy and to his credit he seemed nice enough and treated her well. But Becca needs to move past having a guy give her worth.

In the mean time while she was working for the cleaners she applied to get into an Oxford house- a more permanent sober home. Rent there is 145$ a week. She got recovery funding to move in, and we had to help her with the balance of her rent after two weeks. She found a job at TJMAX and wanted to work the cleaners and them but the cleaners required her to call in every night to see if she was on the schedule for the next day and the boss was wishy washy. The boyfriend broke up with her and she handled it very well. He said he was feeling codependent and I agree so he did it in the best way possible. She is doing remarkably well.

She got hired at a new conveinence store opening up called Royal Farms because of her previous Wawa experience so hopefully that starts soon. They pay more and have more hours for her.

What P*ssed me off was that Humble Beginnings (rehab place) discharged her with referrals for psyche docs and none were taking new patients or had a three month waiting list...how can someone stay sober without mental health meds? I got her old Pdoc to take her back thank god.
She got her own phone plan through walmart and buys money orders for rent- even in small amounts so she is behind but making an effort.

When she was at Humble they supposedly helped her apply for welfare but she didnt have a phone so she missed any calls for interviews. This morning super early we are going to social services so I can help advocate for her. She is really behind with her rent and she could get kicked out.

She had to stay with us for a few days before getting into the oxford house and that proved to me that unless she is homeless she could never live here. Like it or not, she has her independence and even though it was drug induced wild living in the beginning she would not be able to be accountable to mom and dad. Sober house rules are rigid and expected but having your parents ask you what you are doing is different. We decided to let her use the car we had for her. She is paying us 50$ a week to cover insurance. We thought long and hard about it but there is no way she can get to work without it, and if she cant work she cant stay at Oxford house... you get it.

It is so weird with her. Its like I am trying to get to know someone all over again. I have to check myself and not get obsessed with her drama.. I have my own. She wants to make it on her own, and she isnt asking us for money. We have offered here and there because she is trying so hard but she isnt expecting it.

The rest of the family is in limbo with her and I feel like the Becca liason. I fill everyone in on things and they ask questions but do not really talk to her themselves and I am getting a little sick of it.

I have come to learn that it doesnt matter what kind of family you have- drugs and alcohol can take you. Damn I have been sober 7 years and its nothing but AA and sobriety in our house but she was into so much that I didnt know about. So many bad and dangerous situations.

I still hold some resentment towards that awful b*tch mother who let her stay with her...but I am letting that go. I am probably forgetting stuff but this is where we are.
Welfare office this morning and I hate waiting. God help my patience level.
Love you guys and thanks for your support.

XXXOOO
-sweets
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  #82  
Old 11-13-18, 02:15 PM
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Re: She left

You don't have to be Becca's advocate for a p-doc or at social services,
bless you for doing that.

You don't have to be the liason for the rest of the family.
They need to decide if they can forgive and move on (not forget)
and do the work with the therapist to make a new relationship,
or cut ties. That is on them.
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  #83  
Old 11-13-18, 11:29 PM
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Re: She left

It seems very clear that you, your daughter, your family, etc. are all doing your best! I'm very proud of you all!
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  #84  
Old 11-15-18, 10:37 AM
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Re: She left

Hope things went well Sarah!
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