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  #1  
Old 01-15-18, 07:53 PM
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Why is life so difficult for me?

Why is every tiny little thing so overwhelming? Why do I struggle with things that most people seem to breeze through? Why am I constantly in crisis mode? Why do I constantly feel as if all I can manage is to keep my head above water? Am I missing something? Am I lacking something? What's wrong with me?
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  #2  
Old 01-15-18, 08:00 PM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

I don't know.

I used to feel that way all the time. I still have the same paralyzing fears and concerns only I'm a bit better at dealing with things. Ish.

I believe we all have a little something missing in ourselves.

I also believe that those who seem to have things together really do not either.

I do know you are much braver at laying out your true feelings than I will ever be.
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  #3  
Old 01-15-18, 08:17 PM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

I'll take a shot at part of it.....

Letting tasks wait until the last possible minute (operating in crisis mode) cranks up the adrenaline and now you are much better able to address the task(s). Being "better able" is especially true for certain ADHD types.

Also, part of this is preferentially selecting those tasks that are more rewarding for you and leaving behind the less rewarding. These remaining are more likely to be left until you really stress out and crank out the adrenaline.

If it was me I would try to resolve whether much of the problem is that I find myself less able to meet life's responsibilities or whether it is that I am mostly overloaded and being overloaded seems to reduce my ability to cope. HTH, -Tom
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  #4  
Old 01-15-18, 08:36 PM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

I know just how you feel

Feel better fuzzy
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Old 01-15-18, 08:38 PM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

You're asking the same questions we all do on here. Just know you're not alone.
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  #6  
Old 01-15-18, 08:59 PM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
Why is every tiny little thing so overwhelming? Why do I struggle with things that most people seem to breeze through? Why am I constantly in crisis mode? Why do I constantly feel as if all I can manage is to keep my head above water? Am I missing something? Am I lacking something? What's wrong with me?
The simple answer? You have a neurodevelopmental disorder that presents as a disability across multiple life domains, and currently, you are not treating it.

And I don't say that other than seriously and compassionately, because I have that neurodevelopmental disorder too, and my life is crushing when I am not medicated.

Of course, there could be additional reasons and there likely are. In my case, depression, anxiety, stress, sleep disruption, lack of exercise, deficit of social engagement, occasional maladaptive cognitive styles, and from time to time, acute paralysis and dissociation in response to overwhelmingly painful emotions, e.g. hopelessness, despair, all play their part in assaulting my resources and ability to cope.

One thing is for sure though...treating my ADHD both gives some relief to the things I listed above, as well as giving me the chance to actively address those things without feeling overwhelmed by challenges great and small.

I always do the best I can. It's just that on meds it feels like a fighting chance, whereas unmedicated it feels like being pulled under the waves, with no chance to get a breath.


Cheers,
Ian
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  #7  
Old 01-16-18, 05:12 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
I don't know.

I used to feel that way all the time. I still have the same paralyzing fears and concerns only I'm a bit better at dealing with things. Ish.

I believe we all have a little something missing in ourselves.

I also believe that those who seem to have things together really do not either.

I do know you are much braver at laying out your true feelings than I will ever be.
Thanks Missy.

I hate these melodramatic over sensational posts that I make in the middle of the night half asleep. Not because they aren't true but because they are stupid and embarrassing.

Laying out my true feelings... I guess I see that as a drawback. As in I can't control or stop myself from laying out these feelings.
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  #8  
Old 01-16-18, 05:14 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Nut View Post
I'll take a shot at part of it.....

Letting tasks wait until the last possible minute (operating in crisis mode) cranks up the adrenaline and now you are much better able to address the task(s). Being "better able" is especially true for certain ADHD types.

Also, part of this is preferentially selecting those tasks that are more rewarding for you and leaving behind the less rewarding. These remaining are more likely to be left until you really stress out and crank out the adrenaline.

If it was me I would try to resolve whether much of the problem is that I find myself less able to meet life's responsibilities or whether it is that I am mostly overloaded and being overloaded seems to reduce my ability to cope. HTH, -Tom
Yes

Yes

Yes

It's both I think. I'm less able to meet life's regular responsibilities and demands and therefore feel overloaded and overwhelmed all the time. The resulting anxiety renders me even more useless.
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  #9  
Old 01-16-18, 05:21 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeon View Post
The simple answer? You have a neurodevelopmental disorder that presents as a disability across multiple life domains, and currently, you are not treating it.

And I don't say that other than seriously and compassionately, because I have that neurodevelopmental disorder too, and my life is crushing when I am not medicated.

Of course, there could be additional reasons and there likely are. In my case, depression, anxiety, stress, sleep disruption, lack of exercise, deficit of social engagement, occasional maladaptive cognitive styles, and from time to time, acute paralysis and dissociation in response to overwhelmingly painful emotions, e.g. hopelessness, despair, all play their part in assaulting my resources and ability to cope.

One thing is for sure though...treating my ADHD both gives some relief to the things I listed above, as well as giving me the chance to actively address those things without feeling overwhelmed by challenges great and small.

I always do the best I can. It's just that on meds it feels like a fighting chance, whereas unmedicated it feels like being pulled under the waves, with no chance to get a breath.


Cheers,
Ian
What if I don't have ADHD? That possibility is always in the back of my mind...what if I really am just lazy crazy and stupid?

Alternatively, maybe the years if severe depression have caused significant and lasting changes. I know that depression affects the hippocampus and certain types of memory (permanently apparently) so maybe it affects other parts of functions of the brain as well. I guess it matters less what causes the symptoms because the meds effectively treated them.

The biggest problem if I'm honest is that I can't stop breastfeeding. I could wean fuzzling but that seems like such a big and stressful undertaking. I don't even know where or how to start. It probably doesn't sound like something that should be so complicated but it honestlyky is. Maybe I should ask on munsnet.
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Old 01-16-18, 05:37 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

my short answer? You need medication and not just for adhd.
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Old 01-16-18, 07:37 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
my short answer? You need medication and not just for adhd.
Not necessarily.
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Old 01-16-18, 07:38 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

/Loves his Fuzzy.

/Wishes his Wuzzy didn't suffer so.

/Relates with his Fuzz-Fuzz.

/Longs to have words to ease his Favoritesteder Fuzz-Fuzz-McBuzz-Wuzz
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Old 01-16-18, 08:01 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
my short answer? You need medication and not just for adhd.
I guess I do. What else are you talking about? Do you mean anti depressants or anti anxiety? The anxiety is just bad now...this month actually. It's not at its worst either. It's just slow level feeling of being overwhelmed with a few intense bouts here and there.

I'm quite happy actually I think. At least for a lot of the time. Just very tired and very stressed. If I could stop worrying so much...I guess that's where stimulants might help. To be honest though for me there always seems to be an initial period immediately after starting meds where I do really badly. Terrible anxiety and very volatile moods. I really don't want to deal with that right now.
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Old 01-16-18, 08:03 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

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Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
/Loves his Fuzzy.

/Wishes his Wuzzy didn't suffer so.

/Relates with his Fuzz-Fuzz.

/Longs to have words to ease his Favoritesteder Fuzz-Fuzz-McBuzz-Wuzz
I'm actually not suffering that much. That's why I get so annoyed with myself and feel so embarrassed about the dramatic posts I make. And I feel guilty. Things are ok. Just a bit stressful and overwhelming. And very frustrating. Very frustrating. I'm not getting anything done.

If I wasn't so tired I might have the headspace to figure out how to wean the fuzzling or to deal with the fall out.
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Old 01-19-18, 11:29 AM
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Re: Why is life so difficult for me?

you are not alone Fuzzy. I'm so bad I had social workers trying figure me out in the 60's because I was so odd.They were really stumped cause I was acually smart.
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