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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #1  
Old 02-15-10, 09:31 AM
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I need a female opinion!

Ive just posted my profile pic, so that maybe u can help me out.
I recently joined a online dating group (thought I would try and see what it was like) anyway, I can barely get anyone to even look at me...I never had problems with women in the past...of course it's been about 13 years (I'm now divorced)
Did I just post a bad pic or is it just me? (I posted same pic as this one)
Can I get an opinion....be brutally honest...thanks
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Old 02-15-10, 11:00 AM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Well..to be brutally honest...the picture sucks,its too faded. I can tell you are handsome and that you are smiling,and you seem to look happy,but its not a good quality photo. Try a clearer picture...sell yourself!
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Old 02-15-10, 11:11 AM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

I agree this is not the best picture and a better quality photo would make it easier to see as well as make your best attributes shine more.

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Originally Posted by danelady View Post
Well..to be brutally honest...the picture sucks,its too faded. I can tell you are handsome and that you are smiling,and you seem to look happy,but its not a good quality photo. Try a clearer picture...sell yourself!
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Old 02-15-10, 02:11 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Here's my opinion. This image is pretty important, it's the ONE opportunity to catch someone's eye, to visually tell them what you're about.

I can speak for myself only, but say I'm looking at pics of two different men, and say that they're both my type that I would find equally physically attractive. One pic is a nice clear image with good color that gives me good details of his eyes and face. The other one is faded and a bit washed out, or perhaps it's way over exposed, in any event it's clear that it's not a good representation of who this person is. It's pretty obvious that I'm going to be drawn to the clearer more colorful image and the person in that image.

Not only because of the fact that I can see more of the person, but also because of the fact that it would appear to me that this person has taken more care to put a nice image up for me to see. In fact that's almost a bigger issue for me.

I'd be thinking that if this guy doesn't care enough to go to the trouble to get a nice image of himself to put up, what else doesn't he care about? He showers regularly doesn't he? Or does he? I know that might sound a little extreme, but really those kinds of opinions are formed in split seconds and they're difficult to reverse once they're there.

Could you get a friend to take some pictures of you? I'd like to make one more suggestion, and that would be to wear a different colored shirt. I'm not sure if your shirt here is yellow or orange, but it's a difficult color for people to wear and look good in. Peronally I love those colors, but they make me look so washed out as they do many people. I might wear them anyway, but I wouldn't want to wear them to have my pic taken in. Even a white shirt would be good.

And no, it's not you - you appear to be a good looking man, as Turbochica said it's important to make your best attributes shine!
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Old 02-15-10, 02:41 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

A good pic might also be one that shows a bit about yourself, like having a ski hill in the background, or a horse ranch, or a bowling alley or whatever.
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Old 02-15-10, 09:01 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

The picture is too faded. Take another and make sure you are looking your best!
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Old 02-15-10, 09:35 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

I know a photographer in your area that is still learning and likes to have willing victims to practice on. ;-)

Seriously. Let me know.....

And, as the others said, your photo is your first impression and strongest selling point to someone taking a deeper look. Think like if you were selling your treasured vintage car, you'd get the best images online that you could to get the best interest at the price.
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Old 02-16-10, 03:16 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Thanks everyone for the input!!! Frazzle, I'll take u up on the offer.
I agree...not a good pic... was quickly done just to have something to post
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Old 02-17-10, 04:57 AM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Hey! Good to see another Arizonan!

I agree with the others. Is that a recent photo?
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Old 02-17-10, 09:55 AM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Nice to see you too neighbor...yes Bumblebe, pic was about 2 wks ago.
Frazzle was kind enough to offer help and will be taking pics soon.
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Old 02-19-10, 01:33 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

I met my s/o on an online dating site, and I can honestly say that even though "looks aren't everything," it really does help to have a good profile photo. I guess it's kind of a personal pride thing. . .showing that you take the online dating thing seriously by posting a quality photo that really shows a bit about who you are.

As others have already said, if you have at least one photo of you that relates to a hobby or interest, that's a good one to add. Some dating sites won't allow you to post those as a primary photo, but if there is room to post additional photos, make them interesting.

My boyfriend and I met through a dating site for horse owners/riders. As a result, the photos in our profiles mostly had to do with riding out on trail. As it turns out, my boyfriend and I had already met in person a couple of times out on trail, and even stopped to chat once. He is the one who initiated contact on the dating site. . .and I realized immediately who it was because I recognized the horse in one of his photos.

This is more of a side note, but one of the biggest turn-offs for me was when guys posted a "Joe Cool" photo of themselves. . .no smile, not even a hint of a smile. Often posing next to a car or motorcycle, arms folded across the chest, sunglasses on. Perhaps they managed to succeed in finding women who are attracted to that look. . .but I'm not really interested in dating someone who doesn't smile. Same goes for the photos in a bar or at a party, with a drink in one hand and the other arm around a girl in tight/sparse clothing.
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Old 02-19-10, 02:06 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Agreed Jolly!! Also turnoffs for photos are the cameraphone taking a reflection in the bathroom with no shirt on. And the cameraphone pics whilst behind a vehicle wheel. Gah!! Oh and ones where there's a female cropped out of the photo. Lol!! There are several of us meeting up to get good pics done for Brain Chatter. Hopefully they will be good lol!!
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Old 02-19-10, 02:22 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrazzleDazzle View Post
Agreed Jolly!! Also turnoffs for photos are the cameraphone taking a reflection in the bathroom with no shirt on. And the cameraphone pics whilst behind a vehicle wheel. Gah!! Oh and ones where there's a female cropped out of the photo. Lol!! There are several of us meeting up to get good pics done for Brain Chatter. Hopefully they will be good lol!!
I agree with all of this!

Brainchatter,

I know I'm coming in late here, but you look like a good-looking guy, you just need a picture that's brighter and represents who you are.
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Old 02-19-10, 09:32 PM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

I am going to chime in too. I agree with the faded pic. Get one closer up. I think you need a different shirt too. The setting is not right either. Try to really grab the viewer. You look like a dad in his driveway of a development. Nothing wrong with that, infact many women want a guy that guy, but try getting a little more personal with your picture.

I hope this helps. I'm sure you'll find someone again! Post your revised pic so we can tell you how awesome it is.
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Old 02-20-10, 10:05 AM
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Re: I need a female opinion!

once again, thanks to everyone!!! I will post new pics as soon as I can...should be early next week... as long as it doesn't rain on picture day.
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