ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADDForums FRONT OFFICE > New Member Introductions
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-06-18, 03:48 AM
unintendedchaos unintendedchaos is offline
Newbie
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Hong Kong/Vancouver
Posts: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
unintendedchaos is on a distinguished road
Finally sharing my story with like-minded (literally) people that can relate.

Hi all! Really looking forward to being part of this community and finally not feeling like I'm alone because while my friends are super supportive, none of them truly understands my struggles and even I can't explain it sometimes.

I grew up in a family that didn't believe ADD/ADHD was a real thing even though I'm almost certain my mom suspected when I was a child. She was quite a disciplinarian so she kept my life in order, but unfortunately for me she passed away when I was 14 and the new found freedom meant the end to a structured life.

First suspected I had ADHD when a friend gave me Aderall to try during university exams and it didn't do anything for me at all (I guess the dosage was too low). I moved to Hong Kong for work in my mid 20s and started feeling overwhelmed at work so I went to the doctors and told him my suspicions and he literally just laughed at me.

Finally found a doctor that specialized in ADHD who diagnosed me and started me on 5mg of Concerta XR, which did nothing so she instructed me to double my doses until I felt something. Even at 30mg I didn't feel anything so she gave me 50mg and that was a very traumatic experience.

I would work 16 hours straight without eating anything and though mentally tired I wasn't able to sleep so I stopped taking it. I didn't go back to see her because I was traumatized by the whole experience and I knew Hong Kong has very limited drug options. A year or two later I find out we can get Ritalin here so I went back and now I'm on 15mg 3x a day.

I'm feeling a bit more focused, but still lost in the pile of bad habits I've developed over the years of living an unstructured life. For someone with bad management skills, I watch waaay too much Netflix because I use it as an escape to not think when I feel overwhelmed. We all know Netflix doesn't mix well with our tendency to hyper focus because you just completely get sucked in.

Like many, I'm also bad with follow through and a master of procrastination. People tell me I'm creative and have lots of great ideas, but never stick with it. A part of me also feels like I can't do it by myself because of all my short comings.

I'm normally a very happy go lucky person, but lately I find myself actually feeling depressed from all this. I guess it's cause I'm older now and I feel so lost and behind compared to my peers.

Sorry for the long rambling post. As lost as I sound, it feels nice to get this off my chest.

I really want to do something about it, but don't feel I have the tools, which is why I'm here to hear your stories and learn from your experiences. I'm also considering working with an ADHD life coach. If you've tried this route before, please do share your experiences as I'm having difficulty deciding on one since I don't know who's "good" but still affordable.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-06-18, 06:04 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 27,110
Thanks: 5,663
Thanked 31,437 Times in 14,469 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Finally sharing my story with like-minded (literally) people that can relate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by unintendedchaos View Post
Hi all! Really looking forward to being part of this community and finally not feeling like I'm alone because while my friends are super supportive, none of them truly understands my struggles and even I can't explain it sometimes.
And we are glad to have you. I encourage you to jump in things have been a little slow lately.

Quote:
I grew up in a family that didn't believe ADD/ADHD was a real thing even though I'm almost certain my mom suspected when I was a child. She was quite a disciplinarian so she kept my life in order, but unfortunately for me she passed away when I was 14 and the new found freedom meant the end to a structured life.
That is so invalidating but not uncommon. Some parents take it as a personal slight if there is something troubling their kids. Like it means they are a bad parent.

Quote:
First suspected I had ADHD when a friend gave me Aderall to try during university exams and it didn't do anything for me at all (I guess the dosage was too low). I moved to Hong Kong for work in my mid 20s and started feeling overwhelmed at work so I went to the doctors and told him my suspicions and he literally just laughed at me.

Finally found a doctor that specialized in ADHD who diagnosed me and started me on 5mg of Concerta XR, which did nothing so she instructed me to double my doses until I felt something. Even at 30mg I didn't feel anything so she gave me 50mg and that was a very traumatic experience.
Quote:
I would work 16 hours straight without eating anything and though mentally tired I wasn't able to sleep so I stopped taking it. I didn't go back to see her because I was traumatized by the whole experience and I knew Hong Kong has very limited drug options. A year or two later I find out we can get Ritalin here so I went back and now I'm on 15mg 3x a day.
Was it the side effects that were traumatizing?

Quote:
I'm feeling a bit more focused, but still lost in the pile of bad habits I've developed over the years of living an unstructured life. For someone with bad management skills, I watch waaay too much Netflix because I use it as an escape to not think when I feel overwhelmed. We all know Netflix doesn't mix well with our tendency to hyper focus because you just completely get sucked in.
I use netflix as an escape too when I am having a hard time.

Quote:
Like many, I'm also bad with follow through and a master of procrastination. People tell me I'm creative and have lots of great ideas, but never stick with it. A part of me also feels like I can't do it by myself because of all my short comings.
The people who tell you that are rude and unsupportive. DO not listen to them. And do not get to down on yourself about your "shortcomings".

Quote:
I'm normally a very happy go lucky person, but lately I find myself actually feeling depressed from all this. I guess it's cause I'm older now and I feel so lost and behind compared to my peers.
Some people say your adhd gets worse as you get older. Some say it doesnt but adulting has made my adhd at least different in a not so good way so you are not alone in this feeling.

Quote:
Sorry for the long rambling post. As lost as I sound, it feels nice to get this off my chest.

I really want to do something about it, but don't feel I have the tools, which is why I'm here to hear your stories and learn from your experiences. I'm also considering working with an ADHD life coach. If you've tried this route before, please do share your experiences as I'm having difficulty deciding on one since I don't know who's "good" but still affordable.
I have wonderful ideas for tools you could use but I fail to implement them myself a lot of times so I will feel like a hypocrite.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-06-18, 02:36 PM
ToneTone ToneTone is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Philadelphia, pa
Posts: 2,033
Thanks: 1,950
Thanked 2,562 Times in 1,202 Posts
ToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond reputeToneTone has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Finally sharing my story with like-minded (literally) people that can relate.

Welcome to the community.

Sorry to hear of the pain of your journey ... reminds me that I was a newspaper reporter for a decade ... ADHD was nowhere on my mind ... and I would bust deadlines ... and kept getting into trouble because I had trouble narrowing down my focus.

What's comical to me now ... is that once I got paired with an editor who in retrospect almost certainly also had ADHD ... the worst pairing in history ... He and I would go on all kinds of tangents when planning a story ... sometimes the story length was only a few paragraphs ... like no planning needed ...

Therapy and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is great for people with ADHD--with the caveat always that you have to find a great therapist that you click with, who you feel gets you ... and who inspires you to put in the work. CBT helps overcome the history of failure that leads to the thought ... I've tried before to make a change, I always failed ... Why should I try again? CBT is really excellent for addressing the history of failure ... and also for developing the needed optimism to begin to make changes.

A coach can be great ... Call one ... and talk ... ask their prices ... you will know after a session or two if this person is good ... I hired a coach 8 years ago ... and she was incredibly helpful. She introduced me to a new way of thinking that I am still applying. She helped me find ways to make my job so much easier. One thing I got from her was that organized people look "natural" at it ... (This woman was incredibly well organized.) ... In fact organized people take time to get organized ... and they give themselves all kinds of reminders ... And they look for ways up front to make a task easy to do ...

Strangely enough, with a history of disorganization, I thought focusing on making a task easy was an illegitimate shortcut ... I still find myself apply her insights.

Finding the optimal medication takes time ... and trial and error ... which you have also discovered ... You may continue to fiddle with meds. Just yesterday, I met with my nurse practitioner and she slightly increased a dosage I was on.

Welcome!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 07-06-18, 05:07 PM
midnightstar's Avatar
midnightstar midnightstar is online now
Purriendly feline moderator
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 18,536
Blog Entries: 10
Thanks: 17,655
Thanked 22,038 Times in 13,022 Posts
midnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Finally sharing my story with like-minded (literally) people that can relate.

Welcome
__________________
Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 )
Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012)
Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014)
Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018)
Tigger (31st October 2014 - current)
"No human should ever hurt an animal" Jessie, Animal Farm

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-10-18, 04:06 PM
LyrinMeow's Avatar
LyrinMeow LyrinMeow is offline
Contributor
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Ohio
Posts: 301
Thanks: 135
Thanked 302 Times in 173 Posts
LyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to beholdLyrinMeow is a splendid one to behold
Re: Finally sharing my story with like-minded (literally) people that can relate.

Eh, you just overshot your dosage threshold on Concerta. Nothing to be afraid of. It all depends on the person and their body chemistry and degree of illness. I was on 72mg Concerta and I still felt blah. Now I'm on 90mg a day of regular Adderall and doing fine, even though that's not actually a dosage.

Its something that you have to adjust to mentally I suppose. But you didn't change just because you have a diagnosis. You're just good ol' you. It's just a label. It does, however, open up medications and therapies which is a good thing.

Parents don't like things to be wrong with their kids. And I think that is horribly unfair to a child who has a problem. When my son got the autism diagnosis, again, he hadn't changed in the slightest because of the label. I was like ok now how to I get the services he needs. Then he got the ADHD diagnosis. Again nothing changed and again I found services to help him grow. I advocate and assist but he's not an illness, he's my son. Not taking care of issues young can lead to more issues in the future. My life would have probably been vastly different if my parents had gotten me help for my bipolar instead of ignoring the problem. Instead of being almost 30 when I sought help. But better late than never.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Philosophical ADD discussion - hereditary, environment, do we really have choices? FightingBoredom Open Science & Philosophical Discussion 417 09-12-13 02:22 AM
Frustrated: I cannot relate to most people. sybil General ADD Talk 26 05-12-12 11:38 PM
New and finally getting around to my story Debs New Member Introductions 10 09-22-04 01:55 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums