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  #13036  
Old 02-16-17, 01:45 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
idk if I deserve the good things I have in my life or if one day everything's going to come crashing down around my ears again one day.
I don't believe life actually rewards or punishes us for what we do, or don't do.

So if everything comes crashing down around your ears some day in future,
it won't be because of your self-worth. ****e just happens.

But ... if life did reward us that way, you'd deserve all the good things you have
now and many more. I am convinced of that.
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  #13037  
Old 02-16-17, 01:51 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
idk if I deserve the good things I have in my life
I don't know how you could ever wonder this :*(.

Of course you deserve the good things.
Look at all you've been through in your life...look at how hard you work right now, look at all the love and care you give to your 2 kitties, look at all the love and support you give to us here at ADDF. Not to mention the dog kennel you volunteer at when you can!

Of all the people who should wonder this in the world...it sure shouldn't be you! You absolutely DO deserve the good things you have! No question in my mind! I don't care if you've made mistakes in your life...they don't define who you are or what you've become.

Now take that bat turd fart of a thought and kick it right out of your head! Thoughts like that aren't welcome here!!
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  #13038  
Old 02-16-17, 02:30 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Excellent post psycho!!
I think it's safe to say everyone here has fought some tough battles, and are deserving of what we have. ADD/ADHD isn't easy, but having a friends network helps give it a kick in the ahem...!
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  #13039  
Old 02-16-17, 02:40 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Ebony's got a upset tummy again tonight, she's not eaten much and brought back up what little she did eat

Have to see how her tummy copes during the week next week, trying not to worry just yet in case it was Tigger bringing something back into the house for Ebony and poor Ebony's tummy saying "I don't like that, Tigger"

If she can't hold anything down still by about Wednesday next week I'll try to get her in at the vet (I may have to see about getting her into the vet after work one day, Saturdays are notoriously difficult to get pets into the small vet practice and the big vet practice is extremely difficult to get to)
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  #13040  
Old 02-16-17, 04:53 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightstar View Post
idk if I deserve the good things I have in my life or if one day everything's going to come crashing down around my ears again one day.
You deserve every good thing you have in your life and more. But what you deserve most of all is that you start believing yourself that you deserve all those things and more, so you could actually start to enjoy them.

And you deserve all the hugs in the world.
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  #13041  
Old 02-16-17, 05:05 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Had evaluation today at my treatment facility. All the things I came in treatment for and that led to the conclusion that I should treat my addiction still seem to be present. Low self-esteem, trauma, mood swings. Only the unstable relationships aren't present at the moment, simply because I'm not in a relationship. In most of these things I'm making considerable progress, except of the mood swings that still are very present. I'm glad I'm off alcohol, but it also confirms my belief that the problem ribs much deeper than just my addiction. It concerns me a bit, bc it makes me worry about how much therapy is still needed to get at a place where I can have some inner peace.
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  #13042  
Old 02-16-17, 05:22 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hermus View Post
You deserve every good thing you have in your life and more. But what you deserve most of all is that you start believing yourself that you deserve all those things and more, so you could actually start to enjoy them.

And you deserve all the hugs in the world.
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  #13043  
Old 02-16-17, 07:27 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Ugh. I gotta dig up something for LOL and she is SO crabby.
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  #13044  
Old 02-16-17, 09:13 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Money for meds.
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  #13045  
Old 02-17-17, 12:55 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

had every intention of getting lots of reading and work done today. still haven't. but i still got a lot of work done today, compared to how i've been lately. it's a difficult thing to reconcile when there are so many standards and expecations from yourself and others

but i made a bunch of enchiladas & washed most of the dishes.

just because i need to see it written out:

today, i woke up before 8am and i made it to the classroom around 8:30 when i was going to meet with two students i'm doing an assignment with. i rode my NEW BIKE (that im renting from the school) and i love it so much.
9:00-10:30, had class and the topic was physical exceptionality in schools (impairment and disability, and how teachers can accommodate/modify things for these students); had a meeting with that professor with my group to talk about the lesson plan we're writing
after that, had my own meeting with that professor to talk about my portfolio so far (which im behind in) and about my experience in the classroom (6th grade social studies).
wrote a big thing about institutional discrimination, school to prison pipeline, mass incarceration, cycle of poverty for ANOTHER group lesson for a different education class (with the same professor).

at 12:30, biked over to the cafe on campus (mostly just greasy food) and got a croissant with a fried egg and cheddar cheese on it. ate it, biked back to the building i had spent the whole morning in for my 1:00 class. met with my other group, talked with the professor about our lesson plan.
around 1:45, i'm back at my apartment, and i started writing out all the things i need to do before the school term ends (its week 7 out of 10). very organized, all in one place, it looks good & i feel good
2:30 i realize i have a counselor meeting @ 3pm. meet w counselor from 3-4.
get back to apartment by 4:25. most of this is a blur but i made the mistake of checking facebook (again), but i did the dishes (mostly) and listened to Ted Talks to make the chore less painful, and cooked some ground turkey and made like 6 enchiladas, baked them, they turned out soggy, so i fried two of them & ate those (well, im still eating the second one). cooking something like this takes a lot of motivation & energy & effort unless i'm suddenly inspired. so now i have some tasty food prepared for the next couple of days.
and idk. didn't get any reading done. but i did all these other things so???????? it's just that im 100s of pages behind in reading. but whatever, i'm still doing fine in my classes, mostly. but im so not ready for any of the things that are coming up in these next few weeks.

i also stopped going to work (its only 6 hours a week, and i talked to my boss, and he understands). i picked up all the clothing from my floor yesterday morning, which hadn't been done in weeks. i organized the freezer last night because i had gotten groceries & the freezer was really bad.
i'm probably too hard on myself??????
?????????????????
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  #13046  
Old 02-17-17, 10:16 AM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Stinking thinking
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  #13047  
Old 02-17-17, 12:04 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Have been feeling a lot of emptiness the whole day. Not completely sure where it is coming from.
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  #13048  
Old 02-17-17, 12:34 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

Got the house to myself for the weekend.... which basically means doing nothing for 47.5 hours, then rushing the dishes, the washing, the polishing, the hoovering.... etc in the final half an hour.
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  #13049  
Old 02-17-17, 12:58 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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Got the house to myself for the weekend.... which basically means doing nothing for 47.5 hours, then rushing the dishes, the washing, the polishing, the hoovering.... etc in the final half an hour.
The best way to do it! Nice and fresh upon The Entrance.
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  #13050  
Old 02-17-17, 12:59 PM
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Re: The what's bothering you RIGHT NOW thread Part III

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The best way to do it! Nice and fresh upon The Entrance.
Yes.... "Upon the entrance".... just don't go anywhere beyond the entrance!
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