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  #46  
Old 07-20-17, 10:31 AM
PolaBear PolaBear is offline
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Re: Bad situation

Actually fallen into depressed. Have to shake this. Not sure if opening up has led to this.
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  #47  
Old 07-23-17, 06:41 PM
PolaBear PolaBear is offline
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Re: Bad situation

Think writing in a bad energy adds to the energy and manifests which isn't a good thing, probably also why there aren't many replies here and I understand that. Got myself into stupid kind of situation and awful habits, some which I'm finding hard to shake right now, some I should never be in.

No communication at all really at home, but iv sunken as well and don't have my mind right or where I want to be. Most days at the moment are just sitting, not much movement, feels like I'm untying things iv built over time and become flat. Emotions are everywhere from dead to creative to upset to angry to frustrated to laughing to spaced out. Have a crazy Twitter "crush" which I'm thinking is just to fill a void, it's not even a real situation and is just leading to feelings from a long time ago but haven't processed. Feels dumb even typing that here.

Won't add more this now as it's just bringing up up a weird energy.
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  #48  
Old 08-01-17, 05:20 PM
wisher1 wisher1 is offline
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Re: Bad situation

Quote:
Originally Posted by PolaBear View Post
One thing this mood does Iv noticed (away from mum situation) is there's always a feeling of looking for the new thing, so like I said spending to change something (new t shirts or food or buying a bag etc) as if it's an upgrade or project, or the feeling to take on something that's not really what I'm looking to do, more just for the stimulus of it (learn a language, take a course, hit the gym) these things fade almost instantly and aren't based on anything other than the "new" sensation, not a progressive though or anything based on truth.
Wow I have those same feelings. After reading your threads I recognized that more about myself but I didn't think any of it like you have. The "new" sensation, I can relate so much. Everything you described about it is how I am. Weather it be material things/spending or trying to do/learn something new. Last week I was like I'm going to learn how to break dance, then I decided I'm going to learn how to do a yoga forearm stand (I don't even do yoga). I didn't realize until I read your thread that it was that stimulus feeling that I was wanting. Spending to change something, or learning something new to change something. I'm not sure why I am feeling this way though? I have been extremely irritable the past couple months, so the feelings of looking for the new thing has gotten even worse. Am trying to fill some void?

I've also lost complete interest in my job. Not that it was something I particularly was passionate to do from the start anyway, but I still enjoyed it and had no negative feelings about going to work. Now though, I can't keep my interest up enough to actually do my work. Before I would stay and work late and didn't mind, now I can't wait to get out of there.

Nothing big in my life has changed to have made my moods change like this. So I'm not sure why I am feeling like this now. Wanting the next new thing more than I did before, my irritability has increased, and my lack of interest in my work.

I just want to get home to start on that next new thing, or get on my ipad and browse the internet to buy something new.
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