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Old 07-03-17, 03:58 AM
PillBlast PillBlast is offline
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Unhappy Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Hello everybody!

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and it had been a great experience and improvement on my life because it's easier to deal with stuff when you know the cause. I am in my late 20s and ADHD hasn't impaired my studies too much (but probably I could have done better) or my life. I am in a good position, with a husband that loves me, a 2 year old and a house, 4 years of work experience in a well paid and sought after field and now starting on my last year on a masters degree I love and working on building up a startup company.

The problem is for the last few years I have been feeling like I need a new adventure. If it was only me I would simply pack up and go to a new country, make new friends and face new challanges. That's what I did when I was 18 when I went across Europe to study and then ended up staying there. I was never meant to stay there but I fell in love and ended up taking the route I just described. Now I feel the itch to change something but I don't know how. My husband doesn't have the same willingness to pack up and go and I would feel terrible to make him do it just for my sake.

The stupid thing is that even though I feel like I have been here forever I don't really feel like I belong. I never feel like I belong anywhere because I don't want to belong, I want to kind of float from place to place. I couldn't even commit to start talking the language. I can understand it 100%, read it and my writing is very good even though not at native standards but for some reason I keep talking in English. I know it's because I feel like as soon as I start talking the language I will kind of give up on the hope to ever move.

I usually get bored of everything so fast, hobbies, passions, EVERYTHING! The only thing I never got bored of, as lame as it sounds, is my husband but now I am afraid that because I am so unhappy currently he will just give up on me soon and I will be left there not bored of him but missing him.

Any idea of what I could do? What kind of adventure could I start without moving my family around the world? I am already switching careers so that's in the works but it was not enough. Any advice would be highly appreciated. I have talked to my doctor and she was talking about antidepressives but I swear I am not depressed and I don't want to be even more medicated in order to fit in with normal society.
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Old 07-03-17, 06:38 AM
mrh235 mrh235 is offline
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Quote:
Originally Posted by PillBlast View Post
Hello everybody!

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and it had been a great experience and improvement on my life because it's easier to deal with stuff when you know the cause. I am in my late 20s and ADHD hasn't impaired my studies too much (but probably I could have done better) or my life. I am in a good position, with a husband that loves me, a 2 year old and a house, 4 years of work experience in a well paid and sought after field and now starting on my last year on a masters degree I love and working on building up a startup company.

The problem is for the last few years I have been feeling like I need a new adventure. If it was only me I would simply pack up and go to a new country, make new friends and face new challanges. That's what I did when I was 18 when I went across Europe to study and then ended up staying there. I was never meant to stay there but I fell in love and ended up taking the route I just described. Now I feel the itch to change something but I don't know how. My husband doesn't have the same willingness to pack up and go and I would feel terrible to make him do it just for my sake.

The stupid thing is that even though I feel like I have been here forever I don't really feel like I belong. I never feel like I belong anywhere because I don't want to belong, I want to kind of float from place to place. I couldn't even commit to start talking the language. I can understand it 100%, read it and my writing is very good even though not at native standards but for some reason I keep talking in English. I know it's because I feel like as soon as I start talking the language I will kind of give up on the hope to ever move.

I usually get bored of everything so fast, hobbies, passions, EVERYTHING! The only thing I never got bored of, as lame as it sounds, is my husband but now I am afraid that because I am so unhappy currently he will just give up on me soon and I will be left there not bored of him but missing him.

Any idea of what I could do? What kind of adventure could I start without moving my family around the world? I am already switching careers so that's in the works but it was not enough. Any advice would be highly appreciated. I have talked to my doctor and she was talking about antidepressives but I swear I am not depressed and I don't want to be even more medicated in order to fit in with normal society.
This sounds so much like how my adhd was before I got medicated. Definitely get medicated, it gives you such an amazing quality of life and you wont be constantly chasing around for new activities or wasting around doing nothing bored (most of what I did). tell the doctor you have adhd, it's obvious you're not depressed.

Doctors are obsessed with throwing antidepressants at everybody for every reason, just be direct about the fact you have adhd.
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Old 07-03-17, 06:45 AM
PillBlast PillBlast is offline
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

I am getting medicine for ADHD that helped a lot, but this feeling has not gone away sadly, that's why my doctor said I should add antidepresants. I just started on it, so maybe it's not the right one? But everything else has been so much better.
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Old 07-03-17, 03:45 PM
userguide userguide is offline
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Easy.

Start a travel agency.

(I think I deserve a discount ? )
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Old 07-04-17, 01:57 AM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Quote:
Originally Posted by PillBlast View Post
I am getting medicine for ADHD that helped a lot, but this feeling has not gone away sadly, that's why my doctor said I should add antidepresants. I just started on it, so maybe it's not the right one? But everything else has been so much better.
Boy, you don't sound depressed at all to me. Shouldn't say this as I'm not a doctor but I think you should throw those antidepressants away period.

Can you find hobbies that keep you obsessed for a while before you move on to another obsessive hobby? High adrenaline hobbies seem to work well (at least for me). Maybe snowboarding, race car driving, jet skiing, etc. Can think of some others but well, they are a little on the dangerous side so wont mention.

Maybe just go on a lot of vacations or spend a lot of time planning vacations? 3 day weekends taking you outside of town exploring different areas? Spend time on a vacation forum?
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Old 07-04-17, 06:56 AM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Whats wrong with wanting adventure?
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Old 07-04-17, 09:04 AM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Vacations and travel agency are not something for me. I like moving places and making huge changes in my life but HATE short travel and can't afford 1 month plus of travel at this stage in life.

I usually get lost into hobbies, but the ones I am into don't offer enough I guess and high adrenaline ones are not really me. I am to scared.

SarahSweets, I agree, nothing wrong with that, I just need to find the right adventure. That's why I am looking for some inspiration.
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Old 07-07-17, 06:37 PM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

Sure, your ADHD may be an aggravating factor. But is there any chance you are also just a normal young mother of a toddler, tied down as never before in your young life, chafing at the "daily-ness" and repetitive demands of domestic life, while also being pressured and pulled to the limits of your ability in many directions, most of them requiring you to put your own wishes and dreams on hold for...oh, about 18 years?
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Old 07-07-17, 08:24 PM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

So for me, it's all about stimulation. I need more stimulation than others or I just get way too bored.

Is it that for you too? If it is then can you think of something(s) extremely stimulating that you might like?

Just listening to and singing songs a lot even helps me cause music actually stimulates many parts of your brain, especially if you participate in the music and not just listen passively.

I would think joining meet up groups and making a different set of friends each time you swith to a different group could make it feel like you are making big changes to your life without moving. But sounds like there may be a language barrier.

Are you sure the reason for wanting to move all the time is because of a desire for adventure or is it something else? Not saying it is, just think understanding why you desire moving do much is important in figuring out a solution.
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Old 07-08-17, 08:33 AM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

I used to pack up and stay on the move in my younger years, big time, until I finally learned that no matter where I went, there I was. I had to do extensive traveling within to make any sense of the outer world. It still trips me up.
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Old 07-27-17, 11:26 PM
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Re: Looking for a new adventure when I shouldn't

I can relate. I get this itch for a new adventure all the time. Often times it'll get me in trouble, but it can also be fun so it's not necessarily a bad thing. My life never gets boring, that's for sure.

Have you tried adrenaline packed hobbies? I find that things like rock climbing, gymnastics, parkour, skateboarding and the occasional visit to Six Flags often help satisfy this constant craving for adventure. I also do something a bit more extreme 1-2 times a year, e.g. bungee jumping, sky diving, paragliding, zorbing, etc.
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