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  #1  
Old 04-12-12, 10:52 PM
Yes, I'm Trying Yes, I'm Trying is offline
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Envy of mundane things...

I've been trying to fight this feeling, but it keeps going on. I tend to fall into a trap of envying the "mundane" things people seem to be able to do that I can't (yet/easily). I'm referring to things like being able to hold a job, balance work/play, make friends, find things, etc.

I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself - that would be dumb - but when people (especially certain family members) ask, "Why can't you ______ like ______?" "Why aren't you trying?" "They can - why can't you?" "They're not as smart as you, so why not?", it makes me frustrated, to say the least. The irony is that those family members technically provide for me well, so I end up feeling spoiled. Doesn't help that I "flew under the radar" for many, many years and was expected to be "normal" even though there were obvious problems.

I'm really not a "keep up with the Joneses" type of person, either. I hate that way of thinking, and I'm not materialistic at all. It's just the simplest things that others take for granted and expect me to do.
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  #2  
Old 04-13-12, 12:03 AM
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

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Originally Posted by Yes, I'm Trying View Post
I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself - that would be dumb - but when people (especially certain family members) ask, "Why can't you ______ like ______?" "Why aren't you trying?" "They can - why can't you?" "They're not as smart as you, so why not?", it makes me frustrated, to say the least.
The part that is really hard for family, friends, significant-others to comprehend is that despite being smart (often significantly smarter than average), we have a very difficult time putting that smartness to use.
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Old 04-13-12, 05:22 AM
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

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Originally Posted by Drewbacca View Post
The part that is really hard for family, friends, significant-others to comprehend is that despite being smart (often significantly smarter than average), we have a very difficult time putting that smartness to use.
That's exactly what happens to me. I always get told: "You're so smart, how could you have forgotten to do so and so?" No matter how hard I try, I cannot explain to them that intelligence and working memory are not connected to each other, as far as brain functioning goes...
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Old 04-13-12, 06:51 AM
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yes, I'm Trying View Post
I've been trying to fight this feeling, but it keeps going on. I tend to fall into a trap of envying the "mundane" things people seem to be able to do that I can't (yet/easily). I'm referring to things like being able to hold a job, balance work/play, make friends, find things, etc.

I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself - that would be dumb - but when people (especially certain family members) ask, "Why can't you ______ like ______?" "Why aren't you trying?" "They can - why can't you?" "They're not as smart as you, so why not?", it makes me frustrated, to say the least. The irony is that those family members technically provide for me well, so I end up feeling spoiled. Doesn't help that I "flew under the radar" for many, many years and was expected to be "normal" even though there were obvious problems.

I'm really not a "keep up with the Joneses" type of person, either. I hate that way of thinking, and I'm not materialistic at all. It's just the simplest things that others take for granted and expect me to do.
so sorry you are being made to feel this way and you desserve to fell good about yoursxelf for getting the help you need. Tell them to f**k off..maybe not necessarily in those words but you get the pitcture
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Old 04-13-12, 08:17 AM
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

Sarah ...you crack me up ......I think we should clone you in miniature, and then you could sit on our shoulders and whisper into our ears ....."don't take that s***, tell 'em to f*** off" ......hee hee hee .....


....and Trying .....you have hit upon what may be the number 1 problem that we all share ......those mundane things are what we all wrestle with on a 24/7 basis....you are not alone .....it is the very definition of what an ADDer suffers from ......

....Stick around and see what I mean ......lots of threads on this very subject ......


and right now, I should be starting to work on my weeks goal, to get this place cleaned up and it is literally chaos here.....and what am I doing ...????? why, I am wnadering around this site offering my great wisdom to anyone I feel like answering .....sigh ......it really bis a curse......( the procrastination, not the "wisdom")
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Old 04-13-12, 01:35 PM
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

Heh, another thread about me.

My Mom told me this as a kid:
'WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE _____ and ______ ACROSS THE STREET?!?!'

Thanks Mom, another star for confidence building.

Most jobs get excruciatingly mind numbingly boring, which is why I stay average 3 years, my last job 5 years, laid off probably because I was going noticeably insane.

Yes, I'm trying sayeth thusly:
Quote:
I've been trying to fight this feeling, but it keeps going on. I tend to fall into a trap of envying the "mundane" things people seem to be able to do that I can't (yet/easily). I'm referring to things like being able to hold a job, balance work/play, make friends, find things, etc.
-How do 'reglar folks get up to do the SAME thing everyday and not go nuts and get fired?
-How can a guy kick around a soccer ball all day in a park every day and still find it fun?
-How can an adult play with model trains and love it every day?
-How do people eat, breathe and sleep hockey, and interest remains high?

Where do they get all that dopamine from? Is someone handing out dopamine, but I did not know because I was not paying attention?

"Here, take this, it will make the everyday mundane feel fun, and hobbies infinitely rewarding!!"
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Old 04-15-12, 02:03 AM
TheOceanIsTea TheOceanIsTea is offline
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Re: Envy of mundane things...

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Originally Posted by FogNoggin View Post
Heh, another thread about me.
-How do 'reglar folks get up to do the SAME thing everyday and not go nuts and get fired?
-How can a guy kick around a soccer ball all day in a park every day and still find it fun?
-How can an adult play with model trains and love it every day?
-How do people eat, breathe and sleep hockey, and interest remains high?
Last semester in grad school, I tried to set a regular schedule. I woke up and went to bed as close as I could to the same times, I ate the same breakfast and studied for my qualifying exams, I saw a few key friends, I went for runs and bike rides, I rehearsed with the same band, I kept a journal. That, combined with an autumn-induced seasonal affective disorder, made me as miserable as I have ever been in my life.

This semester, I go to in to my office sometimes, stay up late some nights, skip class to run errands when the moment seems right, and keep a heap of side projects on the back burner, many of which I know will fail. I journal if I feel like it and invent new breakfasts (coconut macaroons in plain yogurt!). This is obviously much better. I don't know if I could do this during the fall, but right now I am living an incredibly charmed life for an ADDer. I think I need to choose my battles -- if I can keep myself from losing my backpack and racking up $50 of parking tickets in a day, they can keep the other mundane stuff.
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