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  #1  
Old 12-12-12, 01:28 AM
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It's the holiday season!

Blergh!

This probably has less to do with ADHD and more to do with my life... including ADHD.

I know that there is part that is driven by the fact that hubby is not here. Since he died, every holiday is just shallow and meaningless outside of its relationship to my faith.

I think that another part is driven by something I can only call "cognitive fatigue". The constant bombardment from virtually every input- from adverts to grocery store decor- leaves me tired of the holiday and extremely desirous of a sofa to hide under.

My favorite Christmas carol? You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.

*sigh*

Am I the only one who is only barely tolerating the holidays???
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  #2  
Old 12-12-12, 01:52 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

I don't like the holiday season either. Probably has something to do with growing up - holidays were awful when I was young. Instead of drinking in the evening like normal, the drinking began around noon. Yeah, my parents really like their vodka...I was usually in trouble for something (as was my brother) and one of my step dad's favorite punishments was "No Christmas this year!"

It wasn't a time for family to get together either. Naw, that only happens during funerals.

I always figured I disliked Christmas because of blatant commercialism, maybe there are some other underlying factors though.
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Old 12-12-12, 02:04 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

(((hugs))) Doodle.

You aren't alone.

I can't imagine what you have had to deal with. I know I'm glad you found us here.
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Old 12-12-12, 02:21 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Greetings, ADHDTigger. As you suggest it can be hard to disentangle ADD/ADHD factors from other causes in the way that the season of excess feels. Big Deal holidays like Christmas and very much New Year bring me a feeling of pressure. We should be enjoying ourselves, seen to be enjoying ourselves, at ease in a group. It doesn't necessarily work quite like that, for me, though if we are warm and well fed, we are better off than many.

In three weeks it will be the first working day of 2013... Best wishes, R
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Old 12-12-12, 02:32 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

I don't care about holidays because my parents didn't pass down any family traditions. My mom and dad are my only close relatives and I don't have any close friends, especially since my parents were born to immigrants whose family is still over seas and I've moved around alot here in the eastern part of the U.S.

...but I don't mind, I love having the break off from college so I can watch youtube all day.

A little inside joke I made up to laugh at people who say "happy holidays" is I think to myself.. "might as well say happy donuts for all I care".
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Old 12-12-12, 02:39 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Holidays are stressful. Usually at least one family member has to pick a huge, pointless fight, there are too many guests over and I tend to have significantly more shutdowns during the holidays.

(in this case, a shutdown being a period of time during which I am unable to do things I can normally do, often being unable to move or speak, followed by a period of feeling dazed/exhausted unless I get some sleep. Sometimes actually losing the ability to speak for several hours).
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Old 12-12-12, 03:28 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Each year I hardly even notice Christmas is only a couple weeks away. I thought it was the depersonalisation. But I think I'm just older and less of materialistic person. I keep being asked what I want for Christmas/ Birthday and I just don't know.

I don't see much of the world to be fed up with the commercialism of Christmas and I barely watch my TV. I don't really care what the adults do on Christmas Day. I'm all about my nephews and nieces. I suppose I'm too preoccupied buying and wrapping gifts to notice anything else. I'm one of those people who just love to give.

I just want to see the family I grew up with and once again meet up with the other part of my family, who I always see, but my nephews and nieces are pretty awesome. I just love feeling like one of the kids again.
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Old 12-12-12, 03:29 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Its a time for rest and relaxation mainly, thats what its always been and that is, after three wonderful years, what it will be again this year. No more, no less.

For me, escaping the mad rollercoaster for even a few days is a bonus, a chance to breathe.
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Old 12-12-12, 03:40 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

It's been stressful for me. This is the first year where I really have to work out how my fiance and I are going to spend Christmas and his mom is very demanding and wants to see him on Christmas Day (all day if she could). My family is doing their party Christmas Eve (which is normal) but his mom's extended family is doing their party on December 23. Then I have another family event (grandfather's birthday) on the 26th. I'm going to be busy from 23 - 26. Not to mention I haven't gotten any sort of gift for most of the people in my family...

There's a reason I haven't started planning my wedding yet (and no it's not procrastination). It's the stress of the holidays!

But I do have the 31 and the 1st off from work. I think I'll spend it relaxing and recuperating.
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Old 12-12-12, 09:41 AM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

I used to hate the holidays, now I enjoy them. I started figuring out what bothered me, like commercialism, and those things I avoid. Another thing that I hated was forgetting Christmas cards, etc.. I've cut myself some slack over the last few years, even before being diagnosed, and I just don't worry if I don't accomplish or deal with certain things.

What I love: getting the house decorated. Dunno why, but it makes me happy. I love giving gifts. I like getting them, of course, but finding great gifts for people really gives me a high. I have a good knack for buying people stuff that they need but happens to be a cool gift or something they just wouldn't buy for themselves.

I love baking too, but might not get to it this year. And I refuse to beat myself up if I don't.
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Old 12-12-12, 12:04 PM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ADHDTigger View Post
(((hugs))) Doodle.

You aren't alone.

I can't imagine what you have had to deal with. I know I'm glad you found us here.
Thanks. We've all got our problems, I'm just glad mine are within my control now, for the most part.

I'm glad I found this place too.
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Old 12-12-12, 12:42 PM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Some families trade off, Christmas with the wife's family one year, with
the hubby's family the next year. Not so with my sis-in-law and her family.

I really think my brother likes her family much better than ours so, fine,
he can have a good time with them. I'm skipping the whole thing this year.
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Old 12-12-12, 01:06 PM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

I try to enjoy the holidays, but honesty some years they just seem like they bring more stuff you have to do, more things you have to worry about, and just a load more stress.

I'll be happy on xmas eve when all the run-up and preparations are finally done with -- either everything got finished on time, or it didn't and there's nothing more to be done for it anyway.
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Old 12-12-12, 01:52 PM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Tigger, I'm sorry to hear about the death of your husband and the way it has dampened the joy of the holidays. This is my first Christmas without my little sister, and I am so completely lost in the universe right now. That is the only way to describe it. I feel like I'm floating in a spaceship by myself, out on the edge of space, just staring into the darkness that expands so fast it never stops. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's where I'm at.

I used to love Christmas as a child, but once I hit my teens I began experiencing severe seasonal depressions, and that has taken most of the joy out of the season for me. It's hard to enjoy Christmas when you are profoundly depressed during Christmas every year. I try to take in all the lights and buzz, but I have the feeling of a constant absence, a void I can't fill, an ache I can't soothe, that no amount of lights and ice skating and cookie baking can seem to remedy.

My nephew is the only reason I try to get into the holidays at all. He's 3 years old, so he's still very much in that magical place where Santa is real, reindeer fly, and everything is covered in tinsel and wrapping paper and joy. I decorated the tree with my brother and his family last weekend, and it was the first sense of happiness I've had at all this winter. We had gone out to a Festival of Lights (first night of Hanukkah), then came home and turned on Christmas music, made tea, and spent the rest of the night decorating. It was all very warm and fuzzy, like one of the movies.

Going through all the ornaments with my nephew and explaining what each one was, giving him the non-breakable ones to hang up as he pleased, and letting him show me the Hanukkah art he made in school made me feel like something good might still be out there. I'm trying to hold onto those things, and not be totally consumed by the bone-deep freeze that is depression and grief.

Here are a few Christmas songs that I really appreciate, that I think you might enjoy too. They are not your typical "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" fare, they speak more to my (and I suspect, your) experience of the holidays.

In Like a Lion, Always Winter - Relient K


"When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes
Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
And by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
For the green grass waiting on the other side..."

Where Are You Christmas? - Faith Hill



"Where are you Christmas?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me?
Why can't I hear music play?"

The Lights and Buzz - Jack's Mannequin



"I'm coming home from my hardest year
I'm making plans not to make plans while I'm here
And this life has been no holiday, a complicated situation
I'm fine with all my memories
Still I could use vacation..."
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Old 12-12-12, 01:58 PM
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Re: It's the holiday season!

Hugs Tigg
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