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Old 01-02-20, 08:56 AM
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eeyore eeyore is offline
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Red face do any of you pace and bat at yur heads

sometimes when im agitated I pace and swat at my head with open palms. Its not entirely negative - for example I had an epiphany to stop take guff from my borderline mother -

and it was like a veil was lifted and I saw I I was being overly diplomatic to somebody who was making ridiculous self harm drama shows in front of my bedroom door while Im trying to sleep at night and making up **** to her doctor during the day in a blatant attempt to have me committed.

the craziest **** i did was related to her drama shows not only outside my door but barging in getting in my face, gaslighting me with homeless bashing, she couldn't just homeless bash me, had to make up a a troll scheme where shes playing headgames with her will, she said it was her lawyer who told her to take me off executor because I used to be homeless, not sure if I believe her, but it is pretty moot when you are wondering if your moms lawyer is a homeless basher and your mom is just going along with it or if it is all her invention as gaslighting troll.

with my moms history of trying to have people commited for bs or falsely charged with assult with intent, when she had in fact attacked the person she was charging with assault, I say she is lying about her lawyer and and the homeless bash is all hers.

anyway after she gets all drunk in my face homeless bashing me I dont come out of my room for two days unless she was asleep , I have complex ptsd and her borderline antics shut me down

, 2 days later she calls the cops on me out of concern for my mental heath, hows that for borderline entitlement, and it is just a barrage of similar stuff, she made a mess on christmas throwing a drunk fit, let it sit till new years eve, then said for me not to go to the gym late that night because she wants to clean up the wine and ashtray stuff all over the wall and blinds.

I started cleaning after she went to bed, partly passive agressive, but more because like many whith adhd esp pi I dont really llike cleaning up borderline bs in the morning, even worse than at night.

right when I had the worst of the mess licked I start to see the ludicrousness of how im her beeach. The worst thing was she was almost certainly making a stab at me for sleeping in, the way she said not to go to the gym late.

but and the night she made the stain and cut herself with a plate in the kitchen I was asleep early - but she woke me up on purpose with her banging pots and dishes, throwing wine and cutting with broken dishes, she was crying like a little girl and said FU GOD!

so yes no more mr nice guy here.

oh also when she was trying to get me committed she told my psychiatrist I was staying in my rooom peeing in bottles, without mentioning it was only for two days after she barged in drunken homeless bashing me - I say barging into your sons room drunk playing headgames by homeless bashing him is crazier than peeing in a few bottles to avoid the person who barges into your room drunk?

she also smokes two packs a day with the windows closed, says I can go in my room if I dont like it cuz she pays for heat and will not smoke with the windows open. I wAS too diplomatic like a bee ach for some time, said I only mind it when she smokes a few too close together, but I was lying to her and myself, I feel voilated cuz she watches the news all day and must know bout second had smoke, but only for the smell she is way out of line, it effing reeks, Im staying in my room to she only smokes in hers. She makes me smoke pot in my room out the window lol, I smoke about one tobacco cigarette worth of pot over a three day period out the window cuz she says so, Ye she refuses to take her two packs a day to her room OR EVEN OPEN A WINDOW

eff her borderline Filicide
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Last edited by eeyore; 01-02-20 at 09:17 AM..
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Old 01-02-20, 09:31 AM
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eeyore eeyore is offline
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Re: do any of you pace and bat at yur heads

took away the edit button already, what I was trying to say is do any of you bat at your heads with your hands cuz of adhd, cuz sometimes I think it could be hypomania or even an autie stim, just looking for insight on where this head battin of mine comes from.


and oh yes im the king of complex ptsd, that is abundant ly clear to me, could that be the source of the battin
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Old 01-02-20, 11:18 AM
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eeyore eeyore is offline
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Re: do any of you pace and bat at yur heads

update, hide in my room fail, tried to sneak 700 am veggie burger and she gets up early, shocks me by being unaware im angry she made me stay home from gym to clean up her tantrum, I havent said anything but stayed in my room all day yesterday.

anyway she thanks me for cleaning her wine and ashes mess and I say well I regreat cleaning it cuz of your no gym demands, and im staying in my room till you quit smoking in the living room.

and she suprised me by agreeing.

then i went further, called her out on the cutting, she said it was her recent brain surgery, I said no, you did that stuff all the time when I was little, and not only do I want you to quit smoking in living room, but go to a shrink too,

she said yes, I know borderlines don't respond well to treatment, but at least the current 'fight' thing is over.
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Last edited by eeyore; 01-02-20 at 11:21 AM.. Reason: lol
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