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  #1  
Old 05-15-18, 09:34 AM
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I dont know what to do

This is my first post and to be honest I am in bits.

I am 40 something. Struggled my whole life with ADHD, its really strong. Finally got diagnosed two weeks ago which my husband says was very brave.

I know that all I need is a prescription and it will help.

I have two professional exams left to complete. Its been hard getting this far, I fail, pick up, just get through.

Money is exceptionally tight and the exam fees are expensive in their own right. Not withstanding the loss of respect for a failure (again).

I was hoping that the prescription wouldn't be far from the diagnosis but given the system I don't get my appointment until 3 days after the exam and I am gutted, I mean seriously gutted. I just want to be fixed.

So here it is. My adult son is also ADHD takes Concerta SR and I am going on Ritalin. I want to just get through this exam, do I do it.....
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Old 05-15-18, 10:38 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

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Originally Posted by boom123 View Post
So here it is. My adult son is also ADHD takes Concerta SR and I am going on Ritalin. I want to just get through this exam, do I do it.....
Welcome! I understand how anxious you must be to get treated for a condition you finally know you have, and I understand how important the exams are.

However, the last things you want are
a) to jeopardize your treatment (and potentially professional licensure?) by taking medication illegally, and
b) to discover that your son's medication is not right (or not the right dose) for you and be a jittery mess on the day of your exam.

Don't do it. Wait to see the doctor.

Even among people with legitimate diagnoses of ADHD, medications can take some time to titrate (adjust dose) properly. This is frustrating to people who are impatient and who have gone many years untreated and just want to be "fixed". But it is a necessary step.

With a diagnosis, check if you are eligible for exam accommodations. Maybe you could take the exam with accommodations, or re-sit the exam at a later date with the benefit of medication that has been prescribed to you, and which you know benefits you without causing bothersome side effects.

Meanwhile, do your best to prepare.

Best wishes, both for the exam, and for successful treatment.

(Speaking as a moderator of the forum, please be aware that our site guidelines (in particular, this section) prohibit members from encouraging/supporting misuse or illegal acquisition of prescription medication.)
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  #3  
Old 05-15-18, 10:53 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

Thank you for your welcome. I am meant to be preparing for a meeting next week but guess who's tripping through several things all at the same time!

I know what your saying, of course I know I shouldn't, and I wont because I want to do it right. I am actually close to sobbing my heart out here because its so far away.

There is nothing I can do about the exam. Its a beast of a paper. I have failed it once - pre diagnosis. The stress of the paper actually makes me worse.

It is a blessing to finally have my diagnosis, everything is so clear now. I have my own nerves about starting meds, but then I am itching to get going to fix me. My family say that I have been super successful without them and should be proud of that, but my heart sinks at the though of another failed exam, and not because I am incapable, but because my brain wont slow down and do things right.
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Old 05-16-18, 08:59 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

I dont understand... there are no tests or exams for adhd. There can be different ways use certain things to come to a conclusion but even if there are they shouldnt cost that much money, if at all. This is common knowledge among doctors that specialize in adhd. Is this a psychiatrist? I would be skeptical of any doctor pushing expensive tests. Who benefits from these costs? If the doctor does, especially if insurance doesnt cover it, I would question him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by boom123 View Post
This is my first post and to be honest I am in bits.

I am 40 something. Struggled my whole life with ADHD, its really strong. Finally got diagnosed two weeks ago which my husband says was very brave.

I know that all I need is a prescription and it will help.

I have two professional exams left to complete. Its been hard getting this far, I fail, pick up, just get through.

Money is exceptionally tight and the exam fees are expensive in their own right. Not withstanding the loss of respect for a failure (again).
Quote:
I was hoping that the prescription wouldn't be far from the diagnosis but given the system I don't get my appointment until 3 days after the exam and I am gutted, I mean seriously gutted. I just want to be fixed.

So here it is. My adult son is also ADHD takes Concerta SR and I am going on Ritalin. I want to just get through this exam, do I do it.....
3 days isnt so bad unless these appts are far apart. But still it shouldnt cost you that kind of money. Personally if the doctor cant understand where I am coming from or explain why they do not utilize standard diagnostic criteria, I would find a doctor that does.
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Old 05-16-18, 09:22 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

Hi Sarah

When I say I have two more professional exams I don't mean medical exams for testing my ADHD.

These are work based professional exams for my industry.

My health care is free here.

What I am saying is I sit my CPD exam on one day and three days later I see my specialist for my prescription. It needs a hour to do full medical assess prior to prescription bp, bloods etc. That's what they do here anyway.

I have a very stressful job and cant really show any emotions. I was gutted yesterday. I went home and had massive cry. Went over why this was an issue, went over how I have struggled for so long, went over all my failures because of it. Felt sorry for myself. Got back up did some more revision. Went to bed, cried again. Got up this morning feeling sad.

I think when I have suffered for 40+ years and think its just me being stupid and to finally be told that actually I couldn't help it was a huge relief. Waiting for that magic fix is like scrabbling to the beach after being chased around by a shark for ever!!
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Old 06-19-18, 03:00 PM
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Re: I dont know what to do

Well i though it might be a good time to post an update.

I got my prescription just after my exam. The exam was terrible but now i 100% feel relaxed about doing a resit but thats another point i will get to in a min.

I am on short acting concerta started off in week one on 5mg three times a day moving up weekly. So currently on 10mg three times a day and its amazing

I am much better at doing my job, more focused, no distractions, clear, concise, calm, i am not quick to anger it is life changing.

I know that the dose i am at a the moment is still a light but its making such a positive difference.

I havent started studying again for my resit i am just waiting a few more weeks. To get over the last one to be honest!

Today i had three life changing epiphanies. I am thrilled . I drove to an appointment 20 miles away. My focus was clear on the road, remembered where i was going and didnt get lost getting there or getting out. Massive achievement for me. I get lost going down the street! Then whilst waiting my turn i read my text book on my phone. It wasnt just me "pretending" i was really reading it. Then finally again whilst waiting my turn i didnt get cross with all the other people waiting or the staff. I sat patiently and waited my turn.

I am both thrilled and excited at the real positive changes already.

Heres to a bright future
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Old 06-19-18, 03:54 PM
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Re: I dont know what to do

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Originally Posted by boom123 View Post
Heres to a bright future
Hear, hear!
Glad for your success with medication.
Good luck with the re-sit!
Keep us posted.
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  #8  
Old 06-20-18, 01:26 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by boom123 View Post
Today i had three life changing epiphanies. I am thrilled . I drove to an appointment 20 miles away. My focus was clear on the road, remembered where i was going and didnt get lost getting there or getting out. Massive achievement for me. I get lost going down the street! Then whilst waiting my turn i read my text book on my phone. It wasnt just me "pretending" i was really reading it. Then finally again whilst waiting my turn i didnt get cross with all the other people waiting or the staff. I sat patiently and waited my turn.
Driving and reading are two areas where I most clearly notice big improvements since I started taking a stimulant about ten months ago (I'm on Vyvanse).

I didn't usually get lost before when I was driving, but I always felt kind of nervous because my mind tended to wander sometimes rather than staying focused on my driving. As a result, I wasn't very good at keeping track of the other cars around me and worried that I might miss seeing another car in the lane beside me when I was trying to change lanes and end up getting into an accident. Since starting medication, I'm so much more relaxed and aware of my surroundings and feel much more in control.

And on medication, I'm also able to read for more extended periods of time than before and stay focused even on complicated texts that require a lot of mental effort.
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Old 06-20-18, 05:06 AM
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Re: I dont know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by boom123 View Post
Hi Sarah

When I say I have two more professional exams I don't mean medical exams for testing my ADHD.

These are work based professional exams for my industry.

My health care is free here.

What I am saying is I sit my CPD exam on one day and three days later I see my specialist for my prescription. It needs a hour to do full medical assess prior to prescription bp, bloods etc. That's what they do here anyway.

I have a very stressful job and cant really show any emotions. I was gutted yesterday. I went home and had massive cry. Went over why this was an issue, went over how I have struggled for so long, went over all my failures because of it. Felt sorry for myself. Got back up did some more revision. Went to bed, cried again. Got up this morning feeling sad.

I think when I have suffered for 40+ years and think its just me being stupid and to finally be told that actually I couldn't help it was a huge relief. Waiting for that magic fix is like scrabbling to the beach after being chased around by a shark for ever!!
Sometimes we just need to cry. I know a big cry can actually help me sometimes. But the epiphany of being diagnosed is bittersweet. Try not to focus on what you havent done and focus on the man or woman you were meant to be.
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