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Old 10-01-18, 04:21 PM
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Daniel1970 Daniel1970 is offline
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Re: How do you live in the moment?

Originally Posted by Greyhound1 View Post
Thanks Daniel,
I’ve been working on mindfulness for about the past 3 years. It can really help keep anxiety from manifesting when it works well. When I mentioned making a conscious effort to be in the moment, I really meant and should of said practicing mindfulness. It doesn’t seem to be nearly as effective for me staying in the now or the moment.

Thanks for the tips!
Yes, mindfulness is supposed to be really good for people with ADHD. It helps with focusing on the present moment, and paying attention to what is going on in that moment, noticing.

Your problems with "staying in the moment" could have something to do with forcing the issue too much, or castigating yourself when your mind wanders. A common misconception with mindfulness, as with meditation, is that you're doing it wrong if you lose the mindfulness and get caught in a train of thought. In fact, that's quite normal, and the whole practice of mindfulness is then gently bringing your attention back to one of your sensors, 150 times if necessary.

Some tips:
1. All mindfulness is, really, is noticing one of six sensors: seeing, hearing, feeling or body sensations, taste, smell, or thoughts and emotions. You are just "remembering that seeing is happening in the present moment." Where someone who is not mindful might be registering visual images but really ruminating about something else, you are simply noting to yourself "seeing is happening" or "hearing is happening". And simply see or hear whatever is there.
2. You don't have to slow down what you are doing. In fact, the more natural your activity is, the more likely mindfulness is to work.
3. You don't have to force or strain. Just note "hearing is happening", for example, don't then strain to identify every last sound.
4. Just notice different sensors. Sights, sounds, your breathing (breathe naturally!), whatever you're feeling, and so on. That's really all there is to it. There's not special "mindful way" to notice these senses. Just notice they are happening.
5. When your mind wanders, as it most definitely will, just notice when it is happening, whenever you catch yourself, and gently focus again on one of your sensors. DO NOT judge or castigate yourself. If you do, you can softly think to yourself "judging, judging" or "criticizing, criticizing" and then leave it at that. And DO NOT say these words in a harsh tone either! That actually feeds self-criticism. Just note softly and matter-of-factly that you judged yourself, and then move on to noticing one of your senses.
6. You can only notice one sensor at a time in a mindful way. So don't get angry with yourself if you can only notice you are seeing, or notice you are hearing, one at a time.
7. Again, you can do this anytime, whatever you are doing. Enjoy it! Enjoy how beautiful the flowers are, or how good the soap smells in the shower, or how pretty the chirping birds are, or even the soothing hum of the AC or murmur of voices.
8. Don't judge or analyze or tell stories about what you are noticing, including people, voices, your emotions, whatever. That's key. Just remembering "seeing is happening" is enough.
9. If you get tired, stop and go back to "normal thinking". It's perfectly ok not to be mindful.
10. Again, do not "move mindfully". Don't slow down what you are doing. DO notice if you are rushing or toppling forwards into the next moment. For example, say you are walking somewhere, or are in a car. Just notice that you are thinking about the destination, and remind yourself "present moment". Remember, even if you are in a car, THIS IS A MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE TOO! It's not just a means to get to work, or home, or whatever. Even sitting in your car, at a stop light, that's a moment of your life too. Look backwards, feel your body weight in the seat, gently note the other drivers or pedestrians (without intruding on their space), whatever you feel like doing. If you are in a car, however, remember the #1 goal is to arrive safely.

Hope that all helps. There are other tips, for sure, but I thought a nice round list of 10 would help whatever folks are reading this thread and interested in trying mindfulness get started. It definitely helps with ADHD and rumination.

The key is, if your mind wanders, YOU ARE NOT DOING IT WRONG. Just begin again. And again.

And always, with meditation or mindfulness, be gentle with yourself. Do not yank your attention back or strain in any way, or criticize or judge yourself or your abilities to do this. Especially if you are a Type-A person like me!

Consider others. - Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche

Be yourself, and the rest will follow.

Breathing is not optional. - Dr. Raymond Wertheim

What do you care what other people think? - Arline Feynman, to her husband, American physicist Richard P. Feynman


Last edited by Daniel1970; 10-01-18 at 04:36 PM.. Reason: typos and clarification
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