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  #1  
Old 09-22-18, 06:46 PM
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People die (post is probably full of triggers )

I'm terrified that one of them could be my daughter. I'm scared to even write about it in case I bring bad luck upon us or some **** like that but it's something that just fills me with constant dread and fear.

Everytime I read something in the news my stomach turns and of course I seek out these news stories. I tell myself it's to inform myself of symptoms of any fatal diseases or of anything that could have prevented a death but I guess it's just morbid curiousity. And then I freak out.

My biggest fears are sepsis, meningitis, choking and accidents though of course it could be anything. We've done a child specific first aid course but I'm not confident that I could perform CPR or the Heimlich maneuver or remember the steps in a crisis situation. And crazy **** like being stuck in a building on fire like in the Grenfell case or our car falling into water (get out as soon as possible, in fact open the windows while you are falling as once the car starts being immersed the water pressure won't allow the doors from opening.) Or worse, what if her survival depends on me? What if I need to save her and I can't? Or won't? What if I won't have the courage?

I know it's just out of selfishness. I couldn't live with her dead. And I might not be able to kill myself even then so what would I do then?

I know this isn't healthy (though if it's normal then please someone tell me. It would be such a relief) and I know that this doesn't help anyone but I can't stop worrying about it or imagining it.

In addition I'm constantly worried about her mental health and well being and I have convinced myself that she WILL be bullied because she's so small and timid and because I'm too incompetent to teach her to be confident.

I sound like the worst, self obsessed mum ever. And the most stupid one. I know I'm so lucky to have her when I genuinely thought I'd never have a child and now I'm just terrified she could be taken away from me again. And I hate myself for being so depressed. I still enjoy my time with her but I'm sure it's leaving a mark on her. And what if she's inherited anything from me?

I'm sorry. I'm not making much sense again and I'm just writing myself into a Frenzy and. I'm so tired. I need to sleep.
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  #2  
Old 09-22-18, 07:52 PM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

There was a time where my mom couldn't die. Seriously...the idea seemed legitimately impossible to me. My brain could not even begin to grasp the idea of it.

After it did happen...there's been several times I thought I was going to die as well. I didn't think I could live without her.
I guess I can as it turns out...yet still, I don't like living without her...it feels like life can never be quite okay again for me. There's always going to be a constant ache and tint to my soul.
I don't want to live without my mommy...but I do.

Quote:
I sound like the worst, self obsessed mum ever. And the most stupid one. [...] And I hate myself for being so depressed.
Gosh dang it!!
NO NO!
Now you go to time out for being so mean to yourself!!!
lol

Quote:
I'm so tired. I need to sleep.
Sleep deprivation really sucks.
It's so much easier for the world to turn dark when you so tired...it's like a lot of your defenses are down cause you're too exhausted to keep them up...and you're left vulnerable and raw.
I often have struggled with really sad and dark thoughts when I'm super tired...they might still be there after some rest, but they're not nearly as strong or powerful.

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Old 09-22-18, 08:12 PM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

I have a lot of thoughts on this, fuzzy, but it'll take some time for me to compose them. Know that you're not alone in fearing disaster or that you typing that up could be predicting it. xx
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Old 09-22-18, 08:25 PM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

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Old 09-23-18, 12:34 AM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post
I'm terrified that one of them could be my daughter. I'm scared to even write about it in case I bring bad luck upon us or some **** like that but it's something that just fills me with constant dread and fear.

Everytime I read something in the news my stomach turns and of course I seek out these news stories. I tell myself it's to inform myself of symptoms of any fatal diseases or of anything that could have prevented a death but I guess it's just morbid curiousity. And then I freak out.

My biggest fears are sepsis, meningitis, choking and accidents though of course it could be anything. We've done a child specific first aid course but I'm not confident that I could perform CPR or the Heimlich maneuver or remember the steps in a crisis situation. And crazy **** like being stuck in a building on fire like in the Grenfell case or our car falling into water (get out as soon as possible, in fact open the windows while you are falling as once the car starts being immersed the water pressure won't allow the doors from opening.) Or worse, what if her survival depends on me? What if I need to save her and I can't? Or won't? What if I won't have the courage?

I know it's just out of selfishness. I couldn't live with her dead. And I might not be able to kill myself even then so what would I do then?

I know this isn't healthy (though if it's normal then please someone tell me. It would be such a relief) and I know that this doesn't help anyone but I can't stop worrying about it or imagining it.

In addition I'm constantly worried about her mental health and well being and I have convinced myself that she WILL be bullied because she's so small and timid and because I'm too incompetent to teach her to be confident.

I sound like the worst, self obsessed mum ever. And the most stupid one. I know I'm so lucky to have her when I genuinely thought I'd never have a child and now I'm just terrified she could be taken away from me again. And I hate myself for being so depressed. I still enjoy my time with her but I'm sure it's leaving a mark on her. And what if she's inherited anything from me?

I'm sorry. I'm not making much sense again and I'm just writing myself into a Frenzy and. I'm so tired. I need to sleep.
I would be more concerned, if she did not inherit anything from you.

Anxieties and depressions are the two most common AD(H)D commorbidities.

More spirited parents worry more, longer.



M
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Last edited by mildadhd; 09-23-18 at 12:41 AM.. Reason: More
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Old 09-23-18, 04:43 AM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

I call this catastrophic thinking and I suffer from it as well. I believe every parent has their "worst case" fears. Mine was always choking or drowning. I used to have nightmares.
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Old 09-24-18, 07:11 AM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

Fuzzy, I have had those thoughts as well. My daughter is now 9 and some things I have learned are:

1. I can't control the world...no seriously, what will happen will happen and all I can do is make sure my child knows I love them and they are precious to me.

2. I lived through having dyslexia and so do a lot of other people, if my daughter has it then she will have ADHD and dyslexia and the world will keep on turning. It won't be the end, but maybe my insights can help her more than I was helped.

3. They have a tool that you can put in your car that will break a window so you don't have to remember to roll them down if you fall in the water. And really, I like that idea better because you will have an air pocket to collect your thoughts in :- )

4. ALL children will be bullied for their body type, hair type, socioeconomic status, etc. You can't control IF your child will be bullied, but you can have a hand in how they react to being bullied. I have found that oftentimes logic confuses bullies. "Oh, yeah you are SO tough picking on a girl half your size, wow, what a great feat that must be in the eyes of your friends!"

5. The difference between hopelessness and hope are often a decent meal and a good night's sleep. Try those two things the next time you feel like this.
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Old 09-24-18, 07:47 AM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

I used to have nightmares about people murdering my children. I'm pleased to say they both made it to adulthood. Try not to stress it'll probably all turn out fine.
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Old 09-24-18, 03:17 PM
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Re: People die (post is probably full of triggers )

Attempting to be perfect, is the worst thing we could do.

Basic negative and positive feeling systems, in our brains, are meant to promote survival.

A healthy balance of negative feeling and positive feeling experiences gives us the best opportunity for survival.







M
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