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Old 11-04-17, 07:59 AM
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Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

I have a BA in English Lit. I met my husband when I was 18 and we went to the same college. We married when I was 20 and we were both still in school. I was pregnant so he finished school first and I worked, had my son and then went back and finished my last year part time. It took my 5 years and a couple of months to finish. I always worked non-career jobs in day care, and customer service. I used to screw around and couldnt get my act together while I was a free spirit college student still living at home but once I got married I ended up with deans' list . I almost dropped out it was so hard.

I fantasized about becoming a professor. I always said I would never have the patience to treach public school because I wanted to teach people that wanted to be in my class-not had to be. Once I was married and had kids and started spiraling downwards with the bipolar and other stuff I closed the book.
After the last hospitalization I applied for disability and have been receiving it for about 10 years.
I definitely would have been dead without the help that disability has given me. And I truly was not capable of working or self care and barely able to care for the kids right until medicatied. Then there is the alcoholism too.

But I see my kids getting older. Jake is 21 and Becca is almost 18 and they will not live with me forever. Ella is 14. All the problems that my kids have had have been thwarted in part because I was home for them. I stuggled at school events when all the working soccor moms would make small talk with me and act like I was a loser with no skills and couldnt do anything else but stay home with the kids.
I got wise as I got healthier and the last time it came up when Ella was in 5th grade- I said" Have you ever thought about how hard it is to be a dairy farmer? Getting up in the dark and constantly taking care of your cows all day and all the work that goes with it? "
The person always said something like:" Oh yes, rasing farm animals is tough! Better them than me!"
I would then say:" well I am raising humans, I have to get up when its still dark and work all day caring for them, and have to keep them safe and I dont get to lock a gate at night and be off duty until the next morning."

I digress but you get the idea.
Anyway. Im considering getting a teaching certificate to teach high school english. Its what I always thought about and I have been told by my kids friends how "cool" I am which I take to mean as relatable. I dont need to be a cool teacher but I would need to be relatable.
Its a "fast track" process geared towards people that have a BA in the subject they want to teach and know what grades they want to teach.


Im scared to death. Im scared of the word "praxis"which is some kind of test you need to pass to get into a program. I am scared of work. I am scared I forgot everything. I need to contribute more financially cause we are not making it. Some people are unable to work ever again and I thought I was that person but getting sober and healthier has changed my perspective. I feel like now that I am functioning better than I used to. I dont want to seem like someone who is taking advantage of a tool.

But I am 42. My kids need college. How can I go if they need to go? Can I get loans enough to pay it? I cant pay if I dont have loans. My son is going to transfer to a four year school in a year and is applying for high profile poly-sci internships in D.C and I have to help him financially already.
I must be crazy. What if these thoughts are tricking me and will wear off like nail polish?
I am so sorry this is so long.
Alot of it was more like therapy for me but I thank you for reading and commenting on it.

XXXOOO
-sweets
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Old 11-04-17, 10:56 AM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

I think it's much less of a "should" I and much more of a "do I truly want to" kind of thing.

Go talk to the place offering the credentials and see what ALL the options are. You can do any damn thing you please. You're an intelligent and compassionate being.

Keep in mind how the systems within the places you'll be teaching actually work and decide if that's a playground you wish to invest your energies in by participating day in and day out and being supervised by others you may not jive with, etc.

Perhaps brush up the skills on telling folks to f*** off as kindly as possible without using those exact words, because you'll be needing many alternatives. lol
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Old 11-04-17, 11:00 AM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Okay, at the risk of making myself even more unpopular than I already am, I have to say this.

Please do not lay any more financial obligations on your husband and yourself. Your children can pay for their own college. If their grades reflect it, they can scholarship their entire way through college. I did it. If not, they can work for it. Student loans are far too easy to procure and you will have to co-sign them. Do not co-sign their student loans if they can not scholarship. Period.

My parents wanted nothing to do with it and at the time I was indignantly horrified over it. Now I understand, and I understand why.

There is no law saying parents must pay for their children's college. It would be financial ruin unless you two have plenty of money to spread around. It would amount to suffocating debt for you and your children.

Going back to school for you to teach would eliminate your SS benefits and even make you have to pay them all back retroactively unless NJ has different laws and SS is Federal as far as I know. On the bright side, if you did get on the faculty your children could go there tuition free.

I hate to be the drag, but I care.

Encourage your children to begin NOW procuring as many scholarships as possible. Every admissions office has The Big Book of Scholarships and you write and write and write and send copies of everything. It was practically a full time job for me to continue applying for the scholarships every year or go after more new ones. I worked hard to be a 4.0 Honors student. Very, very hard. That is how I won them all.

There are scholarships for underprivileged, the blind, learning disabled, indigenous tribes of all types, you name it, the amount of scholarship monies available in that Big Book are never ending. It's overwhelming just trying to read them all.

If you really want it, you will find a way. And so can your children.
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Old 11-04-17, 11:47 AM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Okay, at the risk of making myself even more unpopular than I already am, I have to say this.
You are not unpopular!

Please do not lay any more financial obligations on your husband and yourself. Your children can pay for their own college. If their grades reflect it, they can scholarship their entire way through college. I did it. If not, they can work for it. Student loans are far too easy to procure and you will have to co-sign them. Do not co-sign their student loans if they can not scholarship. Period.[/quote]
I did not explain myself well enough. We havent been paying for my son's college nor will we be for him or the other kids. My inlaws invested $ for each of the kids for college when they were born as a gift. Each college savings account has 10,000$ now. So this cover's my son through his associates and he is transfering to a state school as part of a program with the community college. We did not qualify for financial aid for community college but he just finished his FASFA and so far has a pell grant and we are waiting to see what kinds of grants NJ has. My husband was fully vested as of July at princeton universty and their education benefit covers 16000$ per year per child at any school not just princeton. So things are covered mostly and we would never co-sign a loan. My mom didnt with my loans.


Quote:
There is no law saying parents must pay for their children's college. It would be financial ruin unless you two have plenty of money to spread around. It would amount to suffocating debt for you and your children.
I am sorry that I didnt clarify better the kids always knew they would help with their education. It means more to you when you pay for it yourself and if you F up its not my money you are wasting, its yours.

Quote:
Going back to school for you to teach would eliminate your SS benefits and even make you have to pay them all back retroactively unless NJ has different laws and SS is Federal as far as I know. On the bright side, if you did get on the faculty your children could go there tuition free.
I have been going through a review and here there are allowances if you want to go back to work.They let you collect and work for at least 6 months and ween you off by reducing the amount over time. You can reserve the right to go back on. They want you to work towards becoming able to work. Im pretty sure it also applies to going back to school but I can call my liason.

You make good points though.
And i know you care.
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Old 11-04-17, 02:07 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

oh my goodness! That is just SO nice that they have that money available!

Go for it. And them too.
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Old 11-04-17, 02:40 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
oh my goodness! That is just SO nice that they have that money available!

Go for it. And them too.
It is nice that the inlaws did that but I always have to be mindful that they did that of their own choosing without our knowledge until my son graduated and its a no strings attached deal. They dont get to make decisons for my son just because they are paying for it, They can be manipulating sometimes. Mark's eduation benefit is whats going to save us, he can even go if he wanted to but it doesnt apply to spouses.
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Old 11-04-17, 03:26 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
Going back to school for you to teach would eliminate your SS benefits and even make you have to pay them all back retroactively unless NJ has different laws and SS is Federal as far as I know.
Going to school does not have any effect on SS benefits. Also, grants, scholarships, etc. used to go to school can be excluded by SS when they calculate your resources for at least 9 month and sometimes indefinitely:

Quote:
If you get financial aid for school, the SSA [Social Security Administration] may exclude the assistance when it calculates your resources. Depending on the type of aid you receive, you may be eligible for a 9-month exclusion, or the financial assistance may be excluded for an unlimited amount of time. Examples of eligible financial aid includes:
  • Title IV assistance under the Higher Education Act (HEA)
  • assistance under the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA)
  • grants (from the government or private sources)
  • scholarships
  • fellowships, and
  • gifts used to pay for school-related fees
.
https://www.disabilitysecrets.com/re...ds-gifts-grant

According to the SS website:

Quote:
Section 435 of The Social Security Protection Act of 2004, Public Law 108-203, provides a 9-month resource exclusion for grants, scholarships, fellowships, and gifts used to pay for tuition, fees, and other necessary educational expenses at any educational institution, including vocational and technical education.
https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0501130455
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Old 11-04-17, 05:39 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

If you really want to teach, I think that you should try to make it happen. It's not too late. You could still have over 20 years of teaching in front of you if it worked out. And if you don't give it a try now, in ten years, you'll be 52 and might be regretting that you didn't at least make an attempt to see if it was possible.

But you should probably try and get an idea of all that will be involved in being a high school English teacher before you start anything. Perhaps you could talk to some English teachers and find out what their experience has been like.

I can tell you a little bit about my own experience teaching at a university, although I'm not sure how applicable it would be in your case.

When I went to graduate school I planned to become a professor and did some part time teaching as a Teaching Assistant, usually helping a faculty member with a class. I taught some language classes for one hour, two days per week while the professor taught the other three days per week. In some classes, I led discussion sections and a couple of times I was asked to give a lecture if the professor was sick or was out of town for some reason.

In most cases, I had to correct and grade a lot of homework, term papers, exams, etc. This was sometimes one of the more dreary parts of the job. Correcting a student's paper or exam, including their grammar and spelling, wasn't exactly fun and doing it on a tight deadline for 50 students could be very difficult, especially for someone with ADHD who wasn't taking any medication at the time. I usually did this in a café where I could get a lot of caffeine by drinking cappuccinos all afternoon long. At the end of the semester when I had 50 term papers to correct and grade for some classes, each one maybe 10 or 15 pages long, and it all had to be done in two days, that could be excruciating.

And then I also had to prepare the night before for what I would have to teach the following day. I often stayed up preparing well past midnight some days. I'm sure that having ADHD made all of this take me a lot longer than it did for most of the other TA's.

The year before I graduated, one of my professors got me a job teaching a class in another department. This was the first time I had ever had full responsibility for a class all by myself. I had to prepare a syllabus, make up a class reader, select and order books for the class, prepare and give an hour long lecture two days per week for a whole semester (28 lectures in all), hold office hours, grade papers and exams, give final grades in the end. The complexity of keeping everything organized that semester was overwhelming for me and I was only teaching one class. Even as a student, I always procrastinated when it came to preparing my own term papers and often didn't start writing them until late the night before they were due. Preparing lectures for this class was like writing 2 short term papers every week all semester long.

And If I had been a real professor, I would have had to do all of this for 3 classes in addition to attending faculty meetings, sitting on committees, attending academic conferences and doing my own research to publish so that I could get tenure.

After teaching that class, I decided that I would never be able to manage all the responsibilities of being a university professor. However, I didn't know at the time that I had ADHD and I wasn't on any medication for it or getting any other support to deal with it. So, perhaps I would have been able to handle it all if I had been receiving some kind of treatment for my ADHD.
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Old 11-06-17, 03:23 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Just go for your dreams. Everything will come into the right place once you achieved something what you really love.
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Old 11-08-17, 08:55 AM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

I've seen a few people do this kind of thing..... and as a 50+ individual on a Post Graduate Diploma course, I've tended to hang around with my fellow oldies in various classes.

I've sensed there's significant anxiety in people returning to education. Most have a self-esteem issue around not achieving things earlier in life. It's this self-esteem thing that causes the most trouble... the stress really affects one's ability to learn.

Part of this seems to be the continual judging that goes on through essays, tests, assessments etc. I've noticed that many people returning to education later in life have a problem with the "Power over" dynamic inherent in a teacher/pupil relationship.

Younger people seem to accept the "doing it by numbers" approach in which learning facts and ticking the learning outcome boxes is more important than preparation for doing the job.

Tutors can find it challenging when older people with considerable "life experience" show up in class as pupils.... as it affects the group power dynamic. Good tutors welcome it, mediocre/poor ones can react badly.

I'm glad I went back to learning. It's been tough, partly because of my ADHD and partly because I find it increasingly difficult to suffer being taught by a fool. The older I get the more fools there seem to be in positions of authority.

If it's something you really want to do, then do it...... but check out the employment situation afterward....... in Scotland it's MUCH harder to get a job as a novice in a new field if one is older......... with the exception of teaching.... where there's a recruitment crisis.
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Old 11-29-17, 06:20 PM
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Re: Should I actually consider what it would be like to have a career?

Go for it for sure!!! You won't know unless you try it!!

I think the fact that you go to be a stay at home mom was the best thing that your kids ever had. I think a lot of women talk like they like working and raising a family and wouldn't change it but I don't think that is as true as they want others to think.

Teaching high school can be fun and very rewarding but middle school can be a different story so keep that in mind!
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