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  #1  
Old 10-28-16, 06:29 PM
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Unhappy I think that I'm undateable.

I'm not the most confident type of guy for one nor was I born with the gift of gab so of course I'm not that all talkative and avoid especially talking to women because I always sound stupid inside my head when I talk and there is nothing really of interest I have to say that they would find interesting. I have bad social anxiety and do not like being out in public and when I am I'm always given the least attention to by women when I'm with a group of other fellas so it doesn't really help as far as building up my confidence and sense of self worth.

I tried POF for a little bit to where I messaged a whole bunch of people and maybe got a few replies back but it was just one or two exchanges, nothing in common.

It's been now about 11 years since the last time I dated, back then I used to do a lot of drugs and get drunk a lot which gave the perception to people that I was normal like them because my mind was completely gone as well as the anxiety and I wasn't as anywhere near as introspective and aware of certain things that has turned me into quite the nihilist.

Dunno unless I meet a woman who sorta shares my worldview on things, I believe that I'll continue to remain undatable. My folks and friends even have shown concern that I'm single which leaves me with the feeling of sadness and generally I'm pretty persistent in my endevours and very goal orientated but this area of my life I feel is so ****** up and with the advent of hookup apps like tinder has destroyed the idea of monogamy in society, the degenerate scum are the majority and people who want a traditional monogamous relationship without having to deal with organized religion are screwed!

Not to mention I'm an INTP personality type which puts me in a small minority and not to mention women who are INTP's are something like 1% of the entire population.

Can't really think of anything more to add, your input appreciated.

Please tell me it's not always going to be this way.
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  #2  
Old 10-28-16, 06:36 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

It will NOT always be this way. I truly believe there is someone for you.
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Old 10-28-16, 06:54 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Pah. No one is undateable.

You described the solution already yourself: Meet a woman who sort of shares your worldview. To do that, find out real-life places where there are lots of people who share your worldview, and start spending real-life time with them.
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Old 10-28-16, 07:03 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd_ View Post
Please tell me it's not always going to be this way.
I’m not going to tell you, or promise you, anything I can’t guarantee will be so.

That said, I will say (just) two things:
  1. There are all sorts of people out there in the world, and a number of them might be a good match for you. That doesn’t mean any one of them would be like a woman you are imagining either. From my own experience, I never would have imagined, much less dreamed of, my sweetie.
  2. As with most things in life, attitude means a lot, and in this case, it means everything. That doesn’t mean you have to be someone you are not, but if you have a lack of self-esteem, a sense of “poor me,” an inability to see worth in yourself and the rest of the world, especially the people in it, any degree of non-self-acceptance accompanied by self-loathing...if on a fundamental level you do not love yourself wholly, well and true, without condition...you will narrow your chances until the only people who match you will be those who are not good for your well-being and happiness.
So keep your worldview, it means a lot to you, and in time, it may mean a lot to someone else. But know this: loving yourself, and the confidence that comes out of that...that’s a non-negotiable. You have to have it. And that’s true whether you have a partner or not. But if you do have it, she’ll see that...and that *is* something I can promise you.

And don’t forget to shine your shoes.


Well Wishes,
Ian
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  #5  
Old 10-28-16, 07:08 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Are you satisfied with who you are now. Or are you trying to change who you are.
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  #6  
Old 10-28-16, 07:41 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

I know that there are a lot of people who are not naturally social. But meeting people is a social thing. If looking for a relationship without the real-life social activity, people run the risk of dating someone very unsuitable - or perhaps a cat that has learned to type.
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Old 10-28-16, 09:36 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Hey! Can you dance the Laendler?


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Old 10-28-16, 09:54 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Are you suggesting Lloyd join the Niederösterreichisches Ländlertänzervereinigungsgesellschaft? (which only started tonight because I just invented it)
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Old 10-29-16, 06:51 AM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Quote:
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Are you suggesting Lloyd join the Niederösterreichisches Ländlertänzervereinigungsgesellschaft? (which only started tonight because I just invented it)
I am! I am!

Take a ballroom dancing class Lloyd.
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Old 10-30-16, 02:36 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
I am! I am!

Take a ballroom dancing class Lloyd.
My response to your comment is this. >

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Old 10-30-16, 04:12 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

well, I guess you could try The Skate Castle, or Fight Club.
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Old 10-30-16, 06:08 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Lloyd ... just a little hint... Dancing classes are actually not for people who can already dance

If you simply prefer some other social activity instead of dancing, then forget the dancing and go do the other thing whatever it is.
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Old 10-30-16, 06:11 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
Lloyd ... just a little hint... Dancing classes are actually not for people who can already dance

If you simply prefer some other social activity instead of dancing, then forget the dancing and go do the other thing whatever it is.
Dancing classes usually involve good little women.
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Old 10-31-16, 09:45 PM
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This May Be a Dirty Word Around Here, But What Is the Goal?

Other than one or 2 references to "dating" which seems very ambiguous, I don't see any mention of to what end "dating" would be a means.

Girls who share his world view are one thing. Girls who are "compatible" and share his goals might be either a subset or scattered across a broader field. Not all successful couples are like the Bobbsey twins or even Myers-Briggs congruent...I would guess the majority have some complementarity.
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Old 11-01-16, 12:28 PM
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Re: I think that I'm undateable.

People do sometimes tend to speak as if everyone understands.

I took Lloyd to mean that he's met too many women who find his points of view disagreeable, and that he'd like to meet people who don't all do that.
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