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Non-ADD Partner Support This is a support forum for non-ADD partners, spouses, and significant others offering feedback from both the ADD and non-ADD perspectives

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Old 01-23-19, 09:13 PM
Lostcreativeone Lostcreativeone is offline
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Scared, alone and trying to help

I'm at my husband in 2016 and we were married by the end of the year. He was very upfront with his ADD and learning disability. We have created a lovely life together with a house, a child, pets, jobs, etc. I know that he is the right person for me.
My husband does not use any medication, in fact he is very against stimulant drugs like Adderall and Ritalin. He had horrible experiences as a child and young adult that has made him swore not to take it again. The drugs made him aggressive and he said he felt like a zombie.
Now the struggle comes with his jobs. Early 2018 he got a new job at a potato chip plant. He was let go before his 90 days for under performance.his trainer did not like him and lied on his review which led to his termination. He got a new job 2 weeks later and He is the breadwinner in our house again. He has a job in a distribution center picking parts. He is fairly new at the job. He says that he is struggling to keep up with the expectations in one portion of the job and is scared of getting warnings and eventually fired. He says that every job that he has ever had he is always the slow one to pick it up. He says that his managers and supervisors get frustrated with him because he asks a lot of questions. He is incredibly hard on himself.
When he calls me upset at work, I tried to help talk him through it and be positive. But deep down I am terrified that he will lose his job and we will face criticism from my family and be put through financial hardship again. I'm not sure how I can help him. II am afraid to talk to my friends or my family about this in fear of judgement. I have suggested going back to the doctor to find an alternative treatments. I guess I am on here to see if anyone has had a similar experience
, Sought out alternative treatments and what I can do as a spouse to help him to the best of my ability.
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Old 01-23-19, 10:29 PM
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Greyhound1 Greyhound1 is offline
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Re: Scared, alone and trying to help

Hey, welcome to the forum!

Do you or he feel his work difficulties are mainly related to his learning disability, ADHD or both?

In my opinion, treating his ADHD would probably be very beneficial for work. There are also more options than just stimulants, if that’s his opposition to treatment. Many people benefit from different types of treatments and therapy such as CBT, counseling, meditation, learning and practicing mindfulness and others.

There are also non-stimulant medications used for treating ADHD. Hopefully, getting his ADHD under control will be enough to excel at work. Unfortunately, these won’t help much with a learning disability.

Perhaps, you can get your man to join the forum. He’ll be amazed how many here can relate and offer advice and support with his issues.

Best of luck and well wishes.
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Old 01-23-19, 11:25 PM
acdc01 acdc01 is online now
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Re: Scared, alone and trying to help

I agree with greyhound. Maybe he could benefit from being on a forum. And maybe try a nonstimulant medication as well.

Also, would it make sense for you to get a job as well? It would lessen financial fears though I'm not really sure if at this new job he's truly doing bad or if his negative self-esteem is affecting his perception of his performance.

Good luck and welcome.
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