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  #1  
Old 05-10-18, 10:02 AM
ad2maxers ad2maxers is offline
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ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

I've been friends w/ this dude who had ADHD.
We been good friends and hang out alot for the past two years.
All of the sudden he had a change of heart.
He did not want to hang out. Worst is that he would invite and then bail out immediately.

I asked if he could join watch a movie. He scrambled for other ppl to join w/ him. And he told me that he was bringing this girl w/ us instead.
It was an awkward 3rd wheel where the girl ended up as the body ie would canoodle w/ the girl and me as the brain where he would converse w/ me.

Then there's awkward situations where he would invite to hang out. Only to ignore me or give that look! He had a group chat on FB and there MANY occasion where he would deliberately skip me when i would jump into the chats.

I ask one of our common friends and he said he has done it to him. he use considered their friendship to last long. Then one day got pissy told him hurtful things. They didn't talk for 5 years up until last year.

He only comes to talk to me social media when he needs some advice.

Are ADHD ppl like this? Do they have sudden change in personalities or they leave friends when they are bored? Made really think that I should avoid people like this.
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Old 05-10-18, 03:14 PM
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Re: ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

Not in my experience. My two BFFs at work are both ADHD. One is on medication and one is not.

The one on medication can be a little unreliable, shall we say. But I know what to expect of her so I account for that when planning anything.

The one not on meds just makes us late for lunch a lot because she is hyper focused on something. I now give the 5 minutes until lunch time warning for her.

My son is also ADHD as well as ASD. He is forgetful but when I check his phone he has normal 14 year old boy text conversations. He can be rude sometimes but doesn't really understand that he's doing it. At school he is well liked and has friends and staff that care about him. And he cares about them.

The guy you are talking about likely has other issues as well. Some personality disorder or something. Or he's just a total jerk. That's also a possibility.

I definitely wouldn't write off ADHD people just because of him. I'm also ADHD and am not like that. My friends and my son are nothing like that whatsoever.
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Old 05-11-18, 05:23 AM
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Re: ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

Sounds like kind of a jerk, There is not medication for being a jerk.
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Old 05-11-18, 01:31 PM
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Re: ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

I would not assume this behavior has anything to do with ADHD.

Suggestion: it's actually not your business to wonder about whether ADHD is the reason your friend is acting strangely. Your business is to pay attention to how you feel when around this friend ... and to politely express your views if you feel ignored and dissed.

Here's the kicker: so what if ADHD was the cause? We don't have obligations to hang out with people who treat us like dirt--doesn't matter if they suffered childhood trauma, a recent head injury ... have ADHD or whatever. Frankly, it's much more balanced to assume the most direct answer ... Either you friend doesn't really like you much ... or he doesn't know how to treat friends.

Either way, your job is to pay attention to how you feel ... If we get slapped on the street, we don't need to ask whether the person who slapped us has ADHD ... We get away ... or call the police ....

I speak as someone who has a history of making excuses for people's behavior ...

So to answer your question, no it is not an ADHD trait to bring a date along with a meeting with a friend ... and to touch the date while talking to a friend. No, that is not a symptom of ADHD.


Good luck ....
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Old 05-11-18, 04:43 PM
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Re: ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Sounds like kind of a jerk, There is not medication for being a jerk.
Not technically. But I've been on some medications that pretty much incapacitate you. And if you are incapacitated, you can't be a jerk.
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Old 05-12-18, 05:01 AM
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Re: ADHD friend sudden change in personality & treatment.

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
Not technically. But I've been on some medications that pretty much incapacitate you. And if you are incapacitated, you can't be a jerk.
Very true!
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