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#1
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give me my life back
is this how we are supposed to live
is life always a mystery do we always worry about whats going to happen every waking moment why does life always seem like it's a jumbled mess are the chemicals in our brain wired differently than others we feel as if the chemicals in our brain are out of line when we work hard does it pay off? we dont view the world like others do our eyes are half shut the future is uncertain and bleak when its sunny out its always raining on us. we just want to find our normal when there are two roads we dont take the road less traveled we dont know which road to take everything in life seems fake when we read we dont understand a day to us seems like an eternity we are pushed in the corner of the room and left alone goals are not in our vocabulary we have ADHD/ADD and want our lives back weather you need medication to help you function or you do it naturally you want your life back My story becomes our story I was at work the other day during my lunch break,I work in a parking garage,i usually go up on the 10th level to enjoy my lunch and take in the views of the city where I live. it was a Wednesday and there wasn't a cloud in the sky,the air was warm and inviting,as I sat there enjoying my lunch there was something off that day like every day.my head felt like it was in the clouds,I felt like I was in a dream like the days and weeks that had past.i was lost and all I wanted was my normal back.i did not want to be normal like everyone else I wanted to be myself. I've used medication for years some have worked some haven't but when they do work it's like an angel came down from heaven and touched my shoulder and granted me life once again.people like myself with ADHD/ADD are always searching for that angel to grant us life. I went to see a new psychiatrist the next day and we talked for a god hour and a half and he gifted me with a script of 10mg focalin.i went home that day and went about the rest of my day per usual. when I woke the next day I took my first dose of the medication after going to the pharmacy getting the script filled. went home and it ready for work,went to the garage and went up to my favorite lunch spot and felt a tap on my shoulder and locked over and there was the angel once again gifting me that normal I sort for months,the fog that loomed over me for mouths was finally lifted,that normal I was looking for was finally there,my head was clear the chemicals in my brain finely felt like they where in line.on that day I was alive once again.not longer did I feel there where road blocks in my life and if there would be any I'd know how to get around them. I know this feeling will go away with time and I'll be searching for that angel once again but for now live has meaning. I did not worry about the future I was so hyper focused that I was always in the moment. for me I'll always be on medication and am fine with that as long as I walk down the right road. dont judge me who I'm not but love me for who I am and will become. |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Charmcityguy22 For This Useful Post: | ||
allesandro1 (04-16-18), finallyfound10 (04-19-18), kwalk (04-18-18), peripatetic (04-17-18), PoppnNSailinMan (04-18-18), stef (04-16-18) |
#2
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Re: give me my life back
sorry for the spelling errors.
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#3
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Re: give me my life back
Whats focalin for? Is it a replacement for Adderall?
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#4
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Re: give me my life back
focalin is a methylphenidate based medication used for ADHD, narcolepsy, etc.
adderall is an amphetamine based medication used for ADHD, narcolepsy, etc. some psychiatrists start people on methylphenidate based meds first, others start on amphetamine based ones... both focalin and adderall are stimulants. |
#5
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Re: give me my life back
This is good!! You've captured a lot of what I (and many others, I'm sure) feel. Thanks!!
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ADHD-Inattentive, Adjustment Disorder w/Mixed Features of Anxiety and Depression, Dyscalculia (Math disability), Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Adult Child of an Alcoholic. Strattera 100 mg, Wellbutrin 450 mg XL, Klonopin 0.5 mg as needed. Brene Brown Shame derives it's power from being unspeakable. Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change. Shame cannot survive being spoken. It can't survive empathy. |
#6
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Re: give me my life back
A good post. I identity with a lot of what you wrote, although for me, this part kind of depends on the circumstances:
If I'm doing something boring, a day can seem like an eternity. That's what it felt like when I had a job at an insurance company that involved sitting at a desk in a cubicle doing boring paperwork all day. By early afternoon every workday, I could hardly keep my eyes open. But if I'm hyperfocused on something that fascinates me, three or four hours can seem like 15 minutes.
__________________
Bart Simpson (to the tune of “I'm Popeye the Sailor Man”): “When I can’t stop my fiddlin’, I just takes me Ritalin, I’m poppin’ and sailin’, man!” (“Brother’s Little Helper,” Season 11, episode 2, aired 10/3/99) |
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