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Relationships & Social Issues This forum is for adults with AD/HD to discuss how AD/HD affects personal relationships.

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  #16  
Old 07-25-18, 07:36 PM
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Re: Talking to people

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Originally Posted by Kunga Dorji View Post
Open plan offices are a shocker for ADHD. They are being phased out in Australia.

If you have any degree of sensory processing disorder you are doomed to chronic cacophony.

If that side of things is a problem at work it might be worth while presenting it as a sensory processing issue (likely to be met with more more sympathy than ADHD) and ask for a few helpers- like a corner where you cant see all the movement or permission to ear ear plugs.


The small talk thing is a damned nuisance. It seems an issue for almost everyone with ADHD. It dives me nuts.

Ive been thinking a lot about that- and many non ADHD people are very good at observing others and keeping a few things in mind as conversation openers. It is not easy for us to do it in real time- as our attention goes here and there, but maybe we need to be more systematic bout it (keep notes)? It can't do any harm.
I actually love the fact that my.office is open plan. I was often alone in my small office at my previous job and I'd spend all day browsing the net for rubbish. Now I don't procrastinate at all anymore. Having someone look over my shoulder really helps. It's not the only thing that's helping with procrastination but it's a factor.

Also, the constant chatter isn't disturbing me that much anymore. Maybe I got used to it or maybe it's because I'm medicated now.

Talking is still a big problem. I could live with just not being social but it's impeding my work. I need to speak to my colleagues to get my work done and I'm stupidly struggling with that.

I remember very strange things about people and sometimes that helps with making conversations but as you said recall in real time is really bad. Anything in real time is bad. I'm barely able to reply to people these days because it takes me so long to either register that I'm being spoken to, understand what the are saying or think of something sensible to reply.

I wonder if my dose is too high. I seem to be a bit too focussed on what I'm doing at the moment that I find it really difficult to read myself away from it to chat with the person next to me or even to get up.
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Old 07-25-18, 10:53 PM
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Re: Talking to people

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Originally Posted by Fuzzy12 View Post

I wonder if my dose is too high. I seem to be a bit too focussed on what I'm doing at the moment that I find it really difficult to read myself away from it to chat with the person next to me or even to get up.

Hyperfocus!


I wonder if there is a way of freeing that up?
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Old 07-26-18, 12:02 PM
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Re: Talking to people

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Originally Posted by Kunga Dorji View Post
The small talk thing is a damned nuisance. It seems an issue for almost everyone with ADHD. It dives me nuts.

Ive been thinking a lot about that- and many non ADHD people are very good at observing others and keeping a few things in mind as conversation openers. It is not easy for us to do it in real time- as our attention goes here and there, but maybe we need to be more systematic bout it (keep notes)? It can't do any harm.

I agree. Small talk is a pain. Weather is okay, I just have to look at the sky to find something to comment on. But I can't remember details people tell me, from one day to the next. I feel bad, it makes it seem like I don't care. I'll be talking to someone for ten minutes and then remember: "Oh yeah, your child was ill last week, wasn't he? Umm, how is he now?" So lame.



I love the idea of taking notes, but how to do it without making it obvious? It seems silly to sit there making notes on random stuff people tell me when chit-chatting. And if I wait until the person has left, I won't remember half of what they said.
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Old 07-27-18, 02:12 AM
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Re: Talking to people

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Originally Posted by Ronelh View Post
I agree. Small talk is a pain. Weather is okay, I just have to look at the sky to find something to comment on. But I can't remember details people tell me, from one day to the next. I feel bad, it makes it seem like I don't care. I'll be talking to someone for ten minutes and then remember: "Oh yeah, your child was ill last week, wasn't he? Umm, how is he now?" So lame.



I love the idea of taking notes, but how to do it without making it obvious? It seems silly to sit there making notes on random stuff people tell me when chit-chatting. And if I wait until the person has left, I won't remember half of what they said.

A small diary is handy. Keep notes afterwards. This stuff starts out lame but it ends up effective-- ie showing you are interested enough to care about their concerns.


In any field making written notes is actually more important than reading them again- it embeds the memory deeper because it engages more sensory and motor areas of the brain.

Ive found the issue with small talk a real problem, and I notice how much better off socially those who are good at it are. That translates in to wellbeing. Again proven science.
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Old 07-29-18, 10:02 AM
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Re: Talking to people

Can defeinly understand how hard that is ... I normally get to any event hours before then watch listen as people arrive lreaning as they do so I know who to chat to and what likely topics will be talked about helps me a lot also only so long I can be out before noise become to much ....dorm
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