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Primary & Secondary Education This forum is for parents to discuss issues related to their children's education and AD/HD.

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  #1  
Old 02-28-04, 09:41 AM
drewsmom drewsmom is offline
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Angry more public school problems..

I am SO sick of the public school system right now. Drew got pink sliped 2 times last week and again yesterday...being too squirmy in the lunch room,stepping in the mud, and not respecting property of others. (found a girly comb on floor showed it to another child, that child took it from him and hid it. substitute teacher blamed it on him and refused to listen to Drew) Now from what I understand after meeting w/ the principal for almost an hour yesterday (Dad too) Drews "problem" is that he "chooses not to follow direction" he must be constantly reminded to follow the rules or to NOT do something. ie. stay out of the mud. Now, trust me when I say if that his problem really is him being defiant, well there will definatley be some consequences, but I brought up the fact that hmmmm my child doesnt seem to have these issues at MY HOUSE, DADS HOUSE or DAYCARE...only at school! and very often all of a sudden lately. SO, my question is this, is he really all that different than the other children OR is there more to his story? he is more active than others and therefore must be reminded more often and so teachers etc. are frustrated with him and are they now "punishing" him more often than others as a kind of revenge? On the one hand I expect my child to behave appropriatly wherever he is at BUT due to the adhd I dont think the expectation should be quite as high because he is not ABLE to controle himself like a "normal" child can. On the other hand, I dont want nor do I think it is fair to other kids for add/hd kids to have a set of special rules for them...they dont learn anything other than excuses and cop out attitudes from that. I told the principal that my child is in their care more waking hours in a school day than with me and that they should know my child at this point in the school yr as well as I do. The kid that sits across the room and torments my child to no end at every recess and moment away from adult supervision should NOT be his desk mate! The teacher should be able to see that there is a problem and that my childs behavior becomes unacceptable after moving him to sit right next to this bulley! and how dare she send a note home asking if everything is ok at home...was there a change in meds? ARRRRGGGHH! there are only 18 kids in his class how can she not put 2 and 2 together?
and how do you expect a 6yr old boy NOT to step in the mud?? isnt there some genetic code for little boys that says oh cool! MUD!!! Dont "write up" my child for that...if he was asked to get out of the mud and he refused then ok., I understand but come on! Three "pink slips" (write ups) in one month is a half hour detention. My FIRST grader has a half hour detention!! what isnt right here? I have asked on now 4 different occasions for my child to be able to speak with the school social worker and have even spoken to her myself and yet still no meeting. I am not saying that she should drop her schedule to fit my child in but if ANY kid gets 3 pink slips in less than 1 week shouldnt the social worker be MAKING TIME for them? ya, detention sounds like the perfect solution. When Drew first started adderall xr it was 5mg/day he became aggressive and had many days that resemled a rollercoaster ride. We changed the dsg to 10mg/day and have been happy with the result and he has no longer been aggressive. How do you know when to increase a dosage? is it possible that the problems at school are another side effect? he has been on this dosage for about 2mos now and we have only recently been having "problems" Do our kids build up a tollerance to their meds? Help!I dont want a zombie child!
thanx for letting me vent.
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Old 02-28-04, 11:17 AM
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OK Drewsmom I am going to reply and give you some advice but I think I need to calm down right now or I will be completly unhelpful. So just know your dilemma has been acknowledge and you are all in my thought's and prayers.

Hugs Cherity
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Old 02-29-04, 10:19 AM
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Thanx...I have been doing ALOT of research this weekend and alot of thinking as well. Please let me know your thoughts, Im calmer now.
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Old 02-29-04, 04:13 PM
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OK first of all this is America and from what I am told we are all innocent until proven guilty...If it were my child I would inform the teacher that unless she has evidence about my child taking the comb she owes him a public apology. (This advice may not be the best but it honestly what I would do).

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Your child has the right to an education in a SAFE enviroment and it is the school's responsibility to provide this. Unfortunatly we sometimes have to get right down nasty in our demand's or they will run over the top of us.

You do have right's and so does your son...I would advice you to tell them not only will your son NOT be staying after school as they have neglected to offer the resources needed to help him function normally. I would also take affidavites from his daycare, father, yourself and anyone who has taken care of your son to prove the problem may just lie in the school system itself.

I"m still mad but I am looking some thing's up but I need your state?

Hugs and don't give up
Cherity


quote:The kid that sits across the room and torments my child to no end at every recess and moment away from adult supervision should NOT be his desk mate! --My son had the same trouble with the same amount of children in the classroom. What I did was point out the problem to the teacher and principal and demanded (you bet your sweet tooth I demanded) that the children be separated and a closer eye be kept on them during recess as Dakota now has permission to fight back...If they will NOT do their job I MOST CERTAINLY WILL
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Old 03-01-04, 08:57 PM
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hi, wow...I really got alot of good info this weekend, I started out by doing a web search for "no child left behind" and just started following links from there. I really had no idea there was so much info available. We live in Michigan and there are some specific laws and even statements that OUR school district has made on their web site reguarding Add/hd and such. I found out that this school is accredited and yet the school provides nor do they require thier teachers become knowledgable in this area of child development. I spoke w/ the teacher last night for quite sometime and got to the bottum of a few things. While I do feel better about some I hate to say that I am still not quite convinced that things have been rectified. I set up a 3 goal system w/ Drew last night. and he drew a chart to go with it. As he meets his daily requirements he will be earning priviledges etc. and there will be a daily report card coming from school. I guess it worked because we had a "super day"! I would still love to hear any info you can come up with! We also have a dr. app on friday and I wonder if anyone can tell me....Do people build up a tollerance to the meds? why else would we need to continually increase dosages?
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Old 03-01-04, 11:02 PM
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During my classes for my MA license one of the lecture's was on med tolerance and just about every med our body will build up a tolerance to it taking high dosage's to make the med work...Open communication with the school should help. But, don't go running to the doctor as the first sign of a bad day. Even I still have day's were nothing goes right. So don't give up. Hugs and congratulation's I think I may want to look at that site myself.
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Old 03-02-04, 12:23 AM
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drewsmom.... i can relate to your frustration. in a lot of respect boys will be boys and yes i do believe there is something genetic that attracts them to mud.....twice last week i was called tot he school to bring my son clean clothes as he had been in the mud. (i refuse to go running tot he school with a change of clothes everyday...but that is another issue).

in my experience kids need punishment the is immediate and fits the crime....to give a child a pink slip and then say "ooohhh by the way you have a detention next friday is assinine" how is that teaching them the consequences of their actions????

as for the socail worker....YESSSSSSSSSS i think that what is going on warrants an appointment sooner!!!

my son's teacher (an amazing woman) had a reward systen for my son.... it was in the form of a book, with a page for each day. the days were divided into 4 parts..... before recess, after recess, the first 1/2 of the afternoon and the 2nd 1/2. in each of these sections were 3 faces...a happy face, neutral face and a sad face. everyday the faces were colored in and my son had to bring the book home for us to sign. when he achieved his goal of 'X' number of happy faces he would recieve a reward. the first reward was a being taken for out for lunch to pizza hut by his teacher (he needed 10 happy faces) this took him a month and a half. i must say that his lunch out with his teacher was one of the best experineces for him and her as they were alone for lunch for a good 1/2......talking joking and spending time together in a 'non-classroom' setting. as he got better and better with the reward system the 'happy faces' had to be closer together (10 in a 2 week period for example). this made a huge difference for my son

good luck and hang in there
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Old 03-09-04, 11:49 AM
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hello everyone!
I must say things have been going much better since my original post. thankfully! Drew had one MINOR "problem" (I hate to use that word) in a before school class last week but since then NO problems at all! We did see the dr. on Friday and she explained the tollerance issue of meds like this....
"it is not so much of an issue of the body building up a tollerance to the medication as it is the childs cognitive ability to create a 'honeymoon period' with the medication. meaning that quite often these kids are very intelligent or very bright to say the least and they can acknowledge that there is a problem. They see that they are not the "same" as other kids in their classrooms. They notice a change when beginning meds and they see it and want it to continue so they really try hard and they see all of the positive reinforcement they are being given. After about a month or so they tend to get tired of trying so hard..so then we see the issues rising up again. They tend to want to let us let the meds make it better for them...but that is not the response we want. We dont want our kids dependant on meds or to use them as a crutch".
So in the end Dad and I decided that adderall is not the best med for us. and Dr. seemed to agree. We had tried increasing the dosage for 2 days prior to the app. and it kept him awake all night, no appetite, and he had lost the 1lb he had gained between previous visits. side effects she said would pass in time but as small as he is she didnt feel that it was worth risking. Now we are on both the adderall AND stratterra for one month because"strattera takes one mo. to build up in the childs system before any effects take place" I dont really like the fact that he is on TWO meds at once but he seems to be okay with it, even getting good reports home yesterday. I pray that we are on the right track here.
thanx for all of your support...
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Old 03-09-04, 11:59 AM
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Glad to hear that things seem to be going in the right direction for you and your son.

Let us know how things progress!
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Old 03-09-04, 12:36 PM
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Excellant!!!!!!!!!!! See I told you just stay strong it alway's get's better. You have done yourself and your family proud. Heck I'm even proud of ya.

HUGS
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Old 03-26-04, 06:45 PM
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With all the negative attention you have been hearing I thought i'd share what my son's doc said. First he said as parents your not alone. Then he said "theese are the kids that make the world go round" he explained that while the "rest of us sit around they are the ones that make things happen"
I just keep telling myself that when it gets frustrating. Hope things keep getting better for you!
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Old 03-27-04, 09:59 AM
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Short1cute1, I like your doc. Big hug's for sharing that and it's so true.
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