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Old 04-26-03, 05:08 PM
redletterruth redletterruth is offline
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waiting for the other shoe to drop

hi. im bipolar and ive had a good month. more good days than bad and not too manic. so i sit here, sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. my moods are like chicago's weather...if i dont like what im going thru, all i have to do is be patient. im trying to take good care of myself and see how long this stable period will last. does anyone else feel this way? Im gonna start on a slight med change, it should be a good change in the long run but it promises some excitement until the meds stabilize again. maybe i just can't deal with calm
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claudia
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Old 04-26-03, 11:50 PM
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Claudia: I relate to this (and have also been given the bipolar diagnosis too...although have never responded to meds used to treat it)...and generally when things are going well, I actually panic, thinking soon something awful will happen and I will lose it all....it's better in the last couple of years....but this type of thought pattern for me used to really paralyze me....now I have to really get used to the idea that I deserve good things -- and longterm stability -- in my life....that I have don't have to live vicariously through others' good fortunes...I can have my own...stability does not have to be shortlived....as if it is given to me only to be taken away....it is actually within my right to flourish and have abundance in my life...and it is my mine for the taking and this starts with longterm stability....and I agree it does start with being able to deal with calm...sitting with oneself...and not needing to create chaos or crises...Highs and lows are ultimately painful...Calm however is much more peaceful....and there is much more room for the universe to work its miracles through me in this place....Hugs to you...
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Old 04-27-03, 05:56 PM
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Joan
Hugggs for that and many thanks to you! I had never thought that the fear of losing what I had might be related to not feeling I deserved the good times....good to hear.
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claudia
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