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Old 11-23-11, 03:31 AM
dopestep dopestep is offline
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Unhappy Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

ive always found it really hard to just relax (i know, shocking right? an adhd'er who has trouble relaxing ) and enjoy the moment while its happening. i find myself constantly wanting to just move from one event to the next. Example: im bored at home so i text a friend and we agree to meet up at his house to hang out. once i get to his house we sit and think of what to do cause now were both bored. we get some more friends to come over and just listen to music and talk, now thats fine for everyone else but for me its boring and all i can think of is what were gunna move on to next. then if we decide to go to the beach or something we get there and after laying in the sun for 2 minutes im bored and ready to move on to the next thing. i could go on forever but i think you get the point by now.

sometimes i wanna lay in bed and just relax and watch tv but i cant because things pop up in my head and im compelled to google them then im on the computer and missing the new episode of the show on tv that i really wanted to watch.

i think the ability to soak up the moment is taken for granted by most people, they most likely dont even realize that its something some people cant do.

also i wish i could enjoy small talk. idk what to say to you, and whatever you say to me is probably going to put me to sleep unless its relevant to my own self. sounds selfish but i cant help it.
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Old 11-23-11, 08:48 AM
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Re: Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

I can relate. If I'm really engrossed in something, like a book or a film, I will finish it in one sitting. But I often jump from task to task, especially on the computer. When I'm working on an essay, for example, there will be ten minutes of writing and maybe fifty minutes of just checking something on the internet, and why don't I read the papers once I'm at it...

One thing I'm sad about is that I don't seem to be able to actually live in the moment. I can't have pure, unadulterated fun. I'm always thinking about something else at the back of my mind, or analysing the situation, or feeling fidgety, or something. So while I might be having a great time, it's never just that. And relaxing and having a great time is hopeless. When looking at a beautiful sunset - or a painting, or a monument, or whatever - I stand still for maybe two minutes, and then I'm all 'ok, now I've seen that, what's next?' (this makes for very romantic experiences, you understand) Sometimes it feels as if I'm collecting memories instead of experiencing. That I'm going through the motions then and there so that I can have something to look back on and re-live in my head later on, when I'm feeling more relaxed... If that makes any sense at all
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Old 11-23-11, 07:57 PM
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Re: Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

Ugh, tell me about it...I'm always thinking of the next step. Okay Shanti, you've got this rare opportunity to see your favourite band who may not tour for at least another year - make it count!
10 minutes into their set: Are they going to stop playing now? I'm kind of bored. I might go prepare for their next gig. Actually, bed sounds good. Eh.
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Old 11-24-11, 01:49 PM
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Re: Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

Yeah,
I have found some small daily "fixes".

I joined a bowling league, I now have to wait my turn. This makes time to talk with others, yeah my mind is still playing out my next throw. But talking to people is an excellent way to enjoy/take in a moment. Before league Id bowl 6-8 games with out sitting down then try to find my next "thing" to do.
I need go shopping for food when its the most busy. People watch! Its fun, interesting and free. Plus your walking and carry a basket thats too heavy, theres exercise!

Small talk... I don't think there will ever be a cure for that crap! I cant answer a simple question with a simple answer. I cant talk about current people or events cause i don't remember anything I watch or hear. Well music lyrics, i do use those in conversations...

Ive done nothing in alot of places. That makes small talk really bad.
"oh you went to the beach/concert/fair/rome/yellowstone, what did you do?"
"nothing."

So I try to not tell people "what I did last weekend".
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Old 11-25-11, 12:21 AM
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Re: Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

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Originally Posted by DennyD View Post


Ive done nothing in alot of places. That makes small talk really bad.
"oh you went to the beach/concert/fair/rome/yellowstone, what did you do?"
"nothing."

So I try to not tell people "what I did last weekend".
Oh man, that's a rough question. Everytime I get my hair done, I've just left work, so I'm still working out whatever new toxic brew I've been subjected to that day. My friend does my hair, so he'll ask what's going on.... and I talk about work, cause I was JUST THERE!

No joke, I could probably climb Mt Kilamanjaro and forget a week later. But then I'll start talking about my climb in the middle of a funeral or some other really inapropriate time; instead of at my hair appointment/fun time with my pal.
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Old 11-26-11, 03:54 AM
dopestep dopestep is offline
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Re: Enjoying/Soaking in the moment

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Originally Posted by fracturedstory View Post
Ugh, tell me about it...I'm always thinking of the next step. Okay Shanti, you've got this rare opportunity to see your favourite band who may not tour for at least another year - make it count!
10 minutes into their set: Are they going to stop playing now? I'm kind of bored. I might go prepare for their next gig. Actually, bed sounds good. Eh.
i was at coachella 2010 and we would all decide to go to a certain stage to see a band and id stand in the crowd for like 10 mins and then be like "ok even tho i came just to see this band id rather walk around and just experience everything" it annoyed my friends cause they all wanted to watch entire sets.

btw coachella was the best weekend of my life. no stress, no obligations, no one judging eachother, and best of all we camped on site so we just woke up and walked over to some of the best music on the planet
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