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  #1  
Old 05-11-18, 05:36 PM
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Smile So.. jobs

So, what do other strange people do?

How do you make your living?

Or if you are retired or on disability what do you spend your time doing?

Or what do you wish you could be doing? Hobby, job, cruises?
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Old 05-11-18, 06:42 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

I'm currently unemployed...on disability.
It drives me NUTS. I feel like such a major bum!!
I don't have nearly enough constructive/productive things to fill my time with.
I know of a TON of things I could be doing that would make me feel better about being unemployed (like volunteering)...but still here I sit, doing little with my life.

I want to eventually get back into a job where I'm working 1 on 1 with people who need a little extra help. Elders or those with developmental disabilities in particular.
But I'm SO scared that I'm going to get employed somewhere...only to quit soon after. This is a huge problem I have...sticking with things. I lasted only about a month at my last job, less then a week at the job before that.
It's like...why put all that energy and effort and love into getting a job...if I'm only going to quit? I don't know how to get over that fear. I have very little confidence in keeping a job right now...no matter how amazing the job is!

Sorry for the long reply!

...
What do YOU do Ly-Lys? Are you employed? What are some of things you do to fill your time? Are you content doing what you do for the most part?

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Old 05-11-18, 07:06 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

i've been declared permanently and completely disabled due to mental illness. i used to be a university professor. an adjunct, mostly. but i couldn't do it. i was just too unstable too often.

i don't know what i wish. i've lost a lot of my life to my symptoms or hospitals and so forth, so i'm trying to just stay grounded in what's happening around me.

i did love it, though. now i have a small girl and she pretty much is my job, so to speak.
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Old 05-11-18, 07:21 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

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i used to be a university professor.
Wow! I didn't know this!
What did you teach Pers?
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Old 05-11-18, 07:22 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

philosophy ; )
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Old 05-11-18, 07:31 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

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philosophy ; )
You're amazing!

...
Okay, sorry for going off topic!
Can't wait to hear more from others. I really enjoy seeing what other people around here do!
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Old 05-11-18, 07:39 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

I wonder the same thing all the time. And when people post here about a career in this or that. I'm like how the h*ll did you get a career with ADHD. I work in the auto industry, parts stores, dealerships and the like. Bounced around a little bit. Doesn't pay well that's for sure. I have accepted a new job that does pay better. However i'll be back on the phones all day. YEAH all day, i did this once before and didn't enjoy it. Tech support burns you out quick. People are so very rude to you. But this is still auto industry stuff and i love cars. So hopefully this is a good fit for me. And i really really need the money now. As i'm getting older i'm starting to worry about my future. How will i support myself later on? Again super afraid i'll be working at a pizza place when i'm 50 or some other low wage "beginner" job. You know with 18-24 year olds who ask "how'd you end up here" haha. I get asked the age old ADHD question of what do i want to do with my life. I literally can't answer, i have like 50 interests. And no way to turn them into money.
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Old 05-11-18, 07:41 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
I don't have nearly enough constructive/productive things to fill my time with.
I feel like our society is too wrapped up in being constructive/productive. The only thing we should do really is try to be happy. Forget societies norms of always being productive, climbing the career ladder, etc. Those things really don't matter.

No shame with living on disability when you do have a disability.
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Old 05-11-18, 07:58 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

I retired not too long ago after working a little over 20 years as a civil engineer. It wasn't pretty towards the end. Sad thing is I still finished the work on time and to good quality. But my procrastination was scaring and driving others crazy.

If I hadn't retired, I think I would have died 10 or 20 years earlier due to the stress in my life.

I am now loving retirement. There were so many deadlines before that kept me under constant stress. It is so weird and peaceful realizing that I really don't have anything to stress about anymore. I love not having a job.

Since I just recently retired, so far I've been reallocating my assets to maximize monthly income over future profit. Selling one of my properties to pay off the mortgages of others. Which means a lot of cleaning and some minor repairs right now.

I've been helping babysit my sister's kids so spending more time with the family.

I also bought a virtual reality system and am in absolute love with it. I asked my mom if she mentioned the VR system and how amazing it was to her friends when she went out to lunch with them cause I myself think it is that amazing. She goes, "I'm not going to tell my friends you quit your job only to play video games". I still play less than the average number of hours people are on media. Part of her just frowns upon me not working. I say forget other people's expectations of you and just do what you want to.

I really want to do a lot of things but unfortunately, I only have a few friends who aren't really interested in the same things I am or have spouses they usually spend most their time with. I'm signing up for a tennis league so will hopefully be playing tennis more soon. I'm also hoping to get myself to play the keyboard again but I really have to finish cleaning before I do that. I want to travel but I really need someone else to do that with as I'm a huge hazard to my own health when traveling alone.

EDIT: I told myself I would get a volunteer job so I'm helping others too. We'll see if that happens. If it doesn't, I'm just not going to beat myself up on it. I've decided to just prioritize me lol.

Last edited by acdc01; 05-11-18 at 08:08 PM..
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  #10  
Old 05-11-18, 08:12 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

I am a (heavily medicated) Software Engineer. At my longest held job for like 3.5 years now.

My mental health meant I had a really really bad job history.

I am bound and damned determined to keep this job and stay in this career as long as possible. I turned in my ADA paperwork last week so if I get locked up again they can't fire me.

But I have my bipolar, ADHD, ASD, GAD, my degenerated bulging disk with occasional nerve pain, fibromyalgia, and the blepharospasms all standing in line to watch me fail.

Currently pushing out of this nasty depression to get back to my usually scheduled life of work, power yoga, running, volunteering, and trying to keep with my son. Bah! Single parenting. And without constant pretty strenuous exercise (gotta love that hot power yoga for loosening muscles up) the fibro flares come on and I hurt everywhere. Like right now. I've been out for a few weeks.

My roommate is on disability for anxiety and depression. I've been making him run the paces I did when wasn't functioning. I let him stay here for less than half the rent, no bills, free laundry, and me to bail him out when he's broke at the end of the month. But he was in a bad situation so I took him in. So now he is on meds and goes to therapy. I'm trying to get him to switch to my psychiatrist because as a child he was diagnosed ADHD and if he is the medications could take care of a lot of or all of the anxiety. The low income place says they won't put him on an ADHD med unless he is working or going to school full time. I guess nobody thought that if a person has ADHD they might NEED the meditation to GET the job or DO the school work. Grrrr. And hoping to get him a good CBT therapist.

'Cuz he ain't living with me forever. D:

This weekend I'm leading the volunteer group that goes to the local no kill shelter and cleans the kitty cat cages and then plays with the cats.
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Old 05-11-18, 08:15 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

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I retired not too long ago after working a little over 20 years as a civil engineer. {...}
haha that's so awesome! I loved reading this post!! I love that your retirement has taken all that constant pressure off your shoulders and that you're doing more of what makes you feel good!

That VR stuff is crazy! I've only ever used Google Cardboard...but even that has blown my little mind! I can't even begin to imagine how it must be running with proper headgear through a powerful machine!

Do you already know how to play pianos? Can you read music? I've always wanted to learn to read music. Everytime I ever get anywhere with it...I quit!

I'm there with you on the traveling. I LOVE to travel, but I like to be with someone. It's way funner to have someone to be with...to eat with and to travel with and to shop with and etc etc. It's just not the same when I'm on my own.

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...
I should stop posting so much haha.
I think I post too much on these forums and become SUPER annoying to everyone. >.<'
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Old 05-11-18, 08:27 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

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Originally Posted by LyrinMeow View Post
I am a (heavily medicated) Software Engineer. At my longest held job for like 3.5 years now.
There's actually quite a few people around these forums that are programmers. I'm SO jealous of you all! I use to dream of being a code monkey. I wanted it SO badly growing up!
I just don't have the brain for that stuff though. I can't concentrate on it for the life of me. Never had the patience to teach myself anything.
I have tons of respect for you guys! Computer programming is so freaking cool in my eyes!

haha I hope your roommate appreciates the hell out of you (I'm actually pretty sure he knows full well how lucky he is and loves you to bits!). You sound just like my mom was for me as an adult in all that you do for him. Though I didn't live with her or my dad, they did feed me, help me with laundry, took care of appointments/my schedule and were always happy to help me financially as needed...especially towards the end of the month.

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Old 05-11-18, 08:42 PM
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Re: So.. jobs

I think it's very important to know where you are and where you are going. If you are completely disabled that's fine. You know that and can plan life accordingly. If you are on disability but want off then you can plan for that too. If you are not on disability and want a better job or career change plan for that.

Once you know where you are and where you want to go everything can become more manageable and hopefully less frustrating. And break things into small but achievable goals. Uncertainty is scary. At least for most people it is. And very much so for me.

I would like to note it took me 7 years to get my degree lol. I absolutely love my job. Problem solving all day every day. No one cares about my hair or piercings. I'm well respected on my team. I'm actually on the Special Events Committee (because I don't have enough to do already) and I am leading a company wide event by myself and just got pulled in to help manage another huge thing we have rolling out soon. This is on top of my other work.

For me to be happy I must do something with my brain. When I take vacations I get soooo bored I actually want to go back to work. I do yoga, I do meditation, I do mindfullness. But that's just not enough for me. I'm going through MIT mathematics courses (Available online for free) for fun. I want to get up to graduate level. No degree. Just for fun.

Ooh! Side note, kayaking season is open now! So excited to get back at that.

How did I get this career? 2 things.
1) Pure luck. I was born frighteningly intelligent. I learn complex things very quickly.

2)Absolute determination. I decided I was going to do it and that was it. F the bipolar, F the GAD, F all of it. I became a favorite with professors. So when we had "lab time" in a room with 50 other people and I couldn't handle it, I stayed in the class room alone and did it with my laptop. My capstone project? I did the entire thing myself.

How did I get where I am? Being smart and stubborn as all hell.

Also, highly recommend volunteering. I do lead the GED tutoring, and the cat cage cleaning, and there is another cool one that they only have every now and again. It's people who have gone through job prep and interview classes. Thing is they all have criminal records. So you go in all dressed up and interview them like you were going to hire them, then give them feedback about how they can do better or encouragement for what they did well. It was really fun. Definitely worth doing on all 3 counts.
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Old 05-12-18, 04:40 AM
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Re: So.. jobs

I havent worked in like 15 years. I am on disability but I also had stopped working originally because I had two young kids and then a third and I couldnt handle it all. I have plans to go back to school for my teaching certificate. Its only a 2 year program because I already have my bachelors. This is why I had my hand surgeries. i struggled with other moms saying stuff like " I wish I could afford to stay home all day" or " what do you do with yourself?" As if not working somehow made us more well off. Or that I ate bon bons all day and watched tv. Uh, no, me not working means we have LESS money!
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Old 05-12-18, 09:22 AM
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Re: So.. jobs

I have actually been in both positions.

From the time my son started school I home schooled him until 4th grade. In all honesty I don't think any school would have been able to handle him. He was a little bundle of ADHD and ASD mess. We did soooo much work on his issues along with just doing course work. He had so many problems. It would take me 2 days to get him to do 1 assignment. But he got better and better and we made it through and now he's about to go into high school mainstreamed.

For this people would tell me I don't know what's best for my son and he should go to a normal school. I couldn't teach him as well as a teacher could. I was selfish because I was not working and contributing.

Either way I was told I was a bad mom a lot. And like you said, less money. I wasn't pulling anything in. There were also no bon bons and tv for me.

Then when I DID get a job at a retail store where I was made a manager I was told my job was just me screwing around. Not like a real job. I was just doing it for fun. Yes. I apparently dealt with retail customers because it was fun.

Now I'm a working single mom (no more retail, yay!) and both things are work. I do my 8-9 hour day and then come home and make sure my child hasn't died or anything. And he DEMANDS he eat every day. Like, what's up with that? And I have to keep tabs on his clothes and his grades and his progress on his IEP, homework help. I have money but I wish I had more time to spend with my son. Although that doesn't help because he's a 14 year old boy and he doesn't want to do anything really, especially with good ol' mom. Now his support team at school seems to thinks I'm a horrible mom. I can't win. He's not doing it to be a jerk or because of anything I've done. As I've had to tell people in the past, I can't discipline the ASD/ADHD out of him. I have to work with him to help him through his challenges not yell at him. And it's not the fastest process ever.

Both situations are hard. Life is hard. I make no judgement about whether a woman wants to/can work or if she doesn't want to/can't work. With or without kids. I'm even ok with stay at home dads. Or if someone is on disability. Like my roommate I'm trying to help.

And good for you going back to school. It's never too late to learn and grow. I heavily encouraged my girlfriend to go back to school. Right now she works with elderly dementia patients. She wants to get her RN and continue working with them. She's very passionate about her job. Except her patients keep dieing. She's one tough cookie. I couldn't do it.
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