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Women with ADD/ADHD This forum is for women to discuss issues related to being a woman with AD/HD.

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  #16  
Old 06-21-09, 02:47 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I do care but I don't have time and can't be bothered to learn stuff like make up etc. I try to have my hair so I can brush it and go and still look presentable. Have to do the eyebrows tho coz otherwise I look like Garry Lyon (reference to the footy show in Aus).

Like to say my bike gear is co-ordinated. I have aqua and grey specialized shoes to match my white bike . I have a black helmet and one blue and one yellow shirt for summer and for winter i have a blue and grey shirt and a purple and grey shirt. I wear my black leg warmers on the outside of my grey shorts which makes me look stupid but to wear them under the shorts makes it too itchy. Look even more ridiculous with a big greyish green 3lt camelback bag and an ayap light mounted on my helmet. Oh yeah the bits of my socks that can be seen are the Australian flag which I have pulled over my leg warmers.

That's just for the road bike - the mountain bike is another freak show entirely
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Old 06-21-09, 03:29 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I love makeup and dressing up, because hey, it makes me look pretty!

But there are many times when:

1) I'm just not in the mood of taking the extra ten minutes to put on makeup

2) I completely forget to put on makeup

3) I spend so much time procrastinating, I don't have time to put on makeup because I'm already late

4) I convince myself that I look fine without makeup, I don't have patience to apply it, argue with myself in my head as I ponder my reflection in the mirror, during which time I could have swiped on mascara at least

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Old 06-21-09, 03:52 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I'm lucky to find two shows that match.
........not that I don't care, I'm making a fashion statement.
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Old 06-21-09, 04:06 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I care about my appearance a lot, especially in my head! Whether or not I actually get around to doing everything I think about is another story. I do think that feeling good about the way I look really helps me feel better overall though.

I don't do my hair or make up but I do things to make myself look better without these things "naturally." I am absolutely neurotically obsessed about skin care and hair care products, vitamins, etc. etc. I use really really good products and I keep my hair really long because that is the only way I can not blow dry it or anything like that and have it still look impressive, even though it is an extraordinary pain to keep it clean. I take pains to make sure my skin looks like dew in the morning glow and stuff like that. I naturally have kind of bad acne, so my skin care regimen is really intense. I also try to look clean and sharp most of the time. Kind of go for an "effortless" look, but it's not effortless!

I like clothes and fashion, and like to have really unique peices/colors/forms but am not a big fan of shopping. I often just imagine myself with all the clothes I would like but am too lazy to go find them. I thought of making my own clothes before so I wouldn't have to deal with shopping, or pay too much money, but when I tried to learn I realized how involved it is and gave up. I do have some clothes I like a lot, but not enough of a shopper to accumulate a comprehensive wardrobe. My weight also fluctuates a lot so at any given point a lot of my clothes don't fit right or at all.

But if I am having a bout of acne or I feel like I'm too chubby I don't want to deal with appearance at all and I kind of let myself go. But I do prefer to try to look a certain way because it does make me feel more "together" which allows me to be more "together" in other areas of life, I guess.
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  #20  
Old 06-21-09, 11:12 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

Quote:
Originally Posted by iittaa View Post
I care about my appearance a lot, especially in my head! Whether or not I actually get around to doing everything I think about is another story. I do think that feeling good about the way I look really helps me feel better overall though.

I am absolutely neurotically obsessed about skin care and hair care products, vitamins, etc. etc.

I like clothes and fashion, and like to have really unique peices/colors/forms but am not a big fan of shopping.

But I do prefer to try to look a certain way because it does make me feel more "together" which allows me to be more "together" in other areas of life, I guess.
I completely relate to this. You explained what I wanted to say a lot better than I did.. when I get dressed I feel like I'm prepared for the day, even if I get dressed in the middle of the afternoon it makes me feel more alert, it's like putting on a uniform or something. But a really comfortable one that I love

Skin regime and hair care is a big thing for me too, I feel so grubby if my hair is unclean and my skin looks like crap. I've dyed my hair a lot over the years so I'm really conscious of looking after it now.

I guess this is a bit of a lame thing to say but for me clothes are just really expressive, I really love finding new ways to wear things I've had for ages and I love finding unique things, it's just an opportunity for me to be creative really. I only recently bought a pair of jeans, they used to make me feel sort of exposed, I used to buy them so they were really baggy, haven't quite left that phase but I will because they end up sliding down and looking bloody stupid!

I suppose it's just a matter of finding whatever makes you feel happiest, and not for anyone else, just for you, which is really cliche but hey!

Perfectionism seems to be a common theme among these posts whether you care about clothes, make-up, skin regime or not; I wonder if this is an ADHD trait or just a human /female thing.. (Or if I'm picking up on something that isn't there!?)
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Old 06-21-09, 03:22 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I don't fuss over myself, but lately I have been trying to feel better about myself and that includes taking time to do makeup/hair. I also have a weird clothes thing... I collect more and more, even if I don't need more, because I feel like I need it deep down... not sure if this "collecting" is an aspect of ADHD or some other oddity that makes me who I am. Lately, my collecting has expanded to include makeup.

*shrugs*

When I was married and as a teen, I didn't care all that much. I even went through severe low self esteem periods when I would avoid looking at myself in a mirror at all costs. I didn't think I was pretty, and didn't need the reminder...

But again, I have always had weight issues and I do care a LOT about that...
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Old 06-21-09, 03:31 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

Do I care? Yes. Am I good with the whole fashion crap? Absolutely not.
I hate to shop! I would easily go in and out of a place like some guys can do but I am a female. They don't make our clothes that easy.

I have a new friend. She is a model and is very into fashion. I am wondering if she views me as her project LOL. She wants me to try on her clothes and take me shopping (with my money, of course). We went out the other night. Later she said my pants were....just not in style. Those were my favorite GAP pants - my professional work pants. She wasn't being rude at all as I kind of asked her.
Do I care that perhaps I looked like a dork to her? Not really because who can measure up to a princess fashion queen. Not me.

I am so not artsy at all. Just not good at it. When I shop, I have to go with "majority rules." When I try on a shirt or pair of pants, I will ask three random people what they think. I feel I can read their tone and body language to see if they are telling the truth. If not, I have to find even more people. So, if two out of the three people like it - I get it. Shopping is the most stressful, anxiety producing thing ever.

I wear some of the same clothes I bought ten years ago. At least they have held up and I wear the same size. I am bummed that five of my jeans now have holes in the knees. What do I do with them? I have two jeans that fit!

Unpolished toenails - my toenails are very plain. At least I clip them.

I do curlers everyday because my hair is so fine. WIth curlers and makeup, I feel alright. I get my hair highlighted every three months. If I didn't, I would have extremely mousy light brown, dark blond hair. I sometimes get acrylic nails. When I don't have them, I bite my nails off and people cringe when I am in my meetings. I can't have people cringing. The clothes things makes me stressed out daily
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  #23  
Old 06-22-09, 02:52 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I do care about my appearance but my lack of time management often determines what I look like when I leave the house. Not to mention my lack of what's clean, not wrinkled, matches, fits, is appropriate for the weather. I've learned to wear a lot of casual dresses...it's only one item of clothing to deal with and even w/o make up or my hair dried I can throw one on w/ a head band and look presentable. I also get eyelash extensions, that way I don't have to deal w/ applying/removing mascara and I feel more feminine.
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  #24  
Old 06-22-09, 03:25 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

Hmmm...I do care about my appearance...but...

My mother never wore makeup except for bright red lipstick, so I never learned from her. My dad quoted his mother: "powder & paint make a girl what she ain't"--and wouldn't let me wear makeup. I wore a bit here & there as an adult, and about 5 years ago, went to makeup counter, had someone do my makeup--as light and natural as possible--and bought the basics. I go through phases. Mostly when I'm going out and want to look "my best." Now that it's summer (3-digit temps) that's gone by the wayside.

I love wearing dresses, unfortunately, I'm able to dress down at work, which means (even tho I really SHOULDN'T) I've ended up wearing jeans & t-shirts every day. I'd gain weight, then the only thing that fit me were certain pairs of jeans or pants, then I lost some weight, and found three pairs of smaller sized jeans at Goodwill. I HATE clothes shopping, because I never find anything that quite fits. I have no problem with buying clothes in good condition at Goodwill or garage sales. I have no idea of what's "in," and really don't care that much, because what's in usually looks really crappy on me. And I dread interviews-- because I really don't have anything that's appropriate, and mostly unsure as to what's appropriate, anyway.

My hair is really long (my boss says I'm going for the Crystal Gayle length) Mostly because I like it long and get compliments, and partly because I'm not good with curlers and styling, and have no idea what I'd do with it anyway. I don't make time to do much of anything in the morning-- I have enough time to get a shower, dress, put contacts in, TRY to remember my meds, and go out the door. When I was wearing makeup, if I didn't have time at home, I'd take my little bag with me and put it on when I got to work. I love having long nails and wearing polish, but I usually end up either breaking them, or chewing them down, so it's rare. Last year, I started wearing polish on my toes because I wore sandals all summer. This year haven't attempted that.

Some weekends, any care I had during the week goes out the door--mostly with depression. If I have nowhere I need to be, I usually stay in pjs all day. I've had some weekends where I come home from work on Friday, and don't set foot outside until Monday morning. Trying not to make that a habit though.
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Old 06-23-09, 02:36 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

wow, I see a trend with ADHD women- the lack of time management to really care about our looks. I do care about my make up, my hair is long and in a clip but I also like to be comfortable and hate wearing heals, dresses , stockings and anything that is layered unless its cold. I don't even carry a purse and only do now because of my 2 year old toddler. I don't like prints and prefer solid color Tshirts and jeans. but then again I live in Los angeles so making a fashion statment isn't all that important. The funny thing is that I'm in the fashion industry and most people just wear jeans unless you're a sales rep or something like that.

I find it very interesting that most of us like to be comfortable and just simple instead of "high maintainence". I could never be the designer label type shopaholic- I tried that but I hate shopping too.

I notice that with my daughter too who is ADHD. She likes to be comfortable and messy like. Its like we have no time to be "made up" or rather not spend the time to do so. Weird.

I guess now that I'm in my 40s, I just want to be comfortable especially chasing down a 2 year old who is constantly throwing food or whatever at you- I don't think I would want to wear my "Comme des Garcons" when around him!
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Old 06-25-09, 02:41 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I have to wear makeup and look neat everyday or I feel less confident. But yeah, I HATE getting ready, but feel like the end result is worth it. I think some of this may come from my mother. I've only seen my mom without makeup on a handful of times. It also doesn't help that I am very pale blonde. When I don't wear makeup, people tell me I look "tired" (AKA, you look like $&%#). If I had more pigment to my skin tone and dark eyelashes, I don't think I would rely on makeup as much as I do.

jaded, I can relate to your collecting of clothes and makeup, I think my issues with this are highly related to my ADD. I have enough clothes that I could literally wear a new outfit everyday for like two years, but yet I still have the urge to always buy more. I like to wear something different everyday and get bored with the same look I guess. I love to reinvent myself. This is all good... except I don't get rid of ANYTHING. I'm unorganized to begin with, so my closet and room are always a complete mess of clothing I don't have space for. My suitcase full of makeup I blame mostly on impulse buys and Sephora but I wear the same makeup every day. I never toss makeup, even if I don't like it, because it's very expensive.
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Old 06-25-09, 07:04 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

Hmmmm.....it -is- all very interesting.
I am bad at caring for my clothes etc - don`t mend then and HATE ironing....and can go too long between hair cuts.....and even though I like wearing nail polish I hardly ever get round to doing my nails.
I lost 10 kg recently, and have started to get really back into looking nice (and sexy).....so have gotten some new smaller clothes recently.

I also like to put on makeup everyday.....it feels like my armour against the world and makes me feel more confident. I also followed the flylady ideas...and it is what helps me feel ready to work. However, there are times when I run out of time to put my makeup on before aI have to leave the house.....
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Old 06-25-09, 08:40 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

The main thing that's important for me is being clean and sweet-smelling. Dirty hair and nails and bad body odour gross me out beyond belief. And my clothes must be clean and not have stains on them. I am also fairly fussy about colour co-ordination; for this reason I like wearing blue jeans because you can get away with wearing any colour/pattern/style on top. I also enjoy long skirts, leggings and stretchy lycra trousers in various colours. I hate clothes that I can't move around in - stuff that digs in, falls down, tears easily (such as tights)...and sweaty fabrics. I'm a fairly active person and I like to walk wherever possible, so it's usually comfy cotton clothes and flat shoes/trainers/flip-flops.

I don't do ironing, but then I find that if I take my clothes out of the washing machine and hang them up immediately, I never need to.

I don't wear heels, or makeup, or a watch, or jewellery (except my wedding ring). I don't see the point in 'accessorising'. All that stuff just gets in my way. I used to wear tons of makeup when I was young because I had bad skin, and was obsessive about the whole cleanse-tone-moisturise holy trinity of skincare, but now it's soap, water and a regular fruit 'n' veg intake for me and my skin looks pretty good for it; I only rarely get spots now and I have a good complexion because I get lots of fresh air.

My hair is kind of mid-length with layers, growing out of a short cut, and I'm wearing it up all the time at the moment because it's hot and I hate having hair hanging all over me when I'm already too hot. I do like to put it up in interesting ways though and while a ponytail is my current style of choice, I've also had phases of bunches/pigtails and various arrangements with hair clips etc - as long as it's out of my face. Nothing makes me more irritable than having hair blow into my eyes and mouth on a windy day!

So, yeah, I do care about my appearance in my own way. I used to try so hard when I was younger and if anything it only made me feel worse about myself. Now I prefer to look good by being clean, neat and smiley!
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Old 06-29-09, 01:42 AM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I care. I have the time management problem though so one day I may look nice and put together and the next, I'm lucky to have work appropriate clothes on because I rushed to dress at the last minute, which means I didn't think about what I was going to wear until the last minute.... Makeup? Well, I like to wear it but its not a priority for me except for special occasions.

As for jewelry, I love it but I have a hard time keeping it. I have several wedding ring sets now, all bought for a whopping $10.00 each piece because I have had two expensive ones stolen because I take one off and left it laying there. For some reason, strangers finding gold and diamonds in public restrooms help themselves. Another one was in the right place in my own home but it disappeared when my husband hired some people we don't know well to help us move. Now, I wear whichever I feel like, when I feel like it. If I don't feel like it, I don't wear one. I never have to worry because who really cares if someone steals a $10 ring. I must say, I'd love to see their face when they try to hock that one in a pawn shop. lol

I don't just need a fashion co-ordinator, I need a fairy godmother to get me ready every day.
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Old 06-29-09, 03:37 PM
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Re: Caring about your appearance

I do care about my appearance. The better I (think I) look, the better I usually feel. I practically never leave my house without a bit of make-up and a fairly decent outfit (I'm not too strictly into fashion though, just as long as it doesn't look strikingly wrong/baggy). And I can fidget with my hair for hours but it doesn't take more than 30 minutes for it to hang down and all sleek again..
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