How to succeed after screwing up royally

[NickL30]

Anyone make a comeback in their career/life after screwing up royally. I am 37 and feel I am out of options especially concerning work/career. I just ended a six month temp job and wasn't chosen to be extended.. so my resume has a string of many jobs -- some were temp, others I got fired from.

I think the Adderall & Prozac I was on changed me and was a deceptive downward spiral. That mixed with other things was a perfect storm. I am pretty much unemployable in any economy due to my work history.

[beechlover]

So sorry to hear about your job situation. I can totally relate, though I have managed to stick to teaching through 13 tough years. But I finally just called it quits because I can't handle the workload. It's hard not to look at the different things I've tried and not see it as failure. As a matter of fact, something my husband said reduced me to a couple of days of the pits. Maybe it was all for the good, though, I'd been doing about everything I could to avoid thinking about it.
So, for the moment I'm looking for jobs that are low stress and that I think I can do well at, just to boost my self-esteem. Do you have a friend that can act as an advocate for you and play up your positive attributes? Wouldn't it be great to get a job where the boss knew our challenges and was willing to work with us?
Anyway, in the meantime, know that you are a valuable person just as you are, and that somewhere out there is a job with your name on it.

[sarahsweets]

For me, things have been so debilitating that screwing up has been a full time job.

[shamrock]

Late 30's early 40's always seem to be a watershed moment for people with bp. Im not sure whether
1 The disease gets worse at that age maybe due to the kindling process.
2 The exhaustion/stress of living with it all those years finally catches up with them leading to bp burnout.
3 Time is up on the protective factor called the " resilience of youth" allowing the bp to be revealed in all its glory.

A combination most likely. However you are not alone. There is a link where some people are chatting about it. I cant link it to you here cos its against forum rules( why oh why do we have that rule? I hate it and cant see the purpose of it). Anyway I will pm you the link. Its not much..just a few people chatting but "I held it together until I hit late 30s "seems to be the general consensus. I can add my voice to that too. Late 30s is when we have to face the disorder and slow down I think. Its a pity the bills dont slow down then too.

I dont know your field but could you do casual temp work eg 3 or 4 days here , 2 days there type of work via an agency?

[doiadhd]

Going through the same thought processing and experience,i am willing and able for manual work,not at moment though,willing yes,able not quite yet. No idea how to behave in social surroundings unless accompanied by someone i trust to focus on. I've been struggling since i hit 29,32 now,i mean really struggling,some due to myself some to do with life and interacting with others! Must catch a break or bit of luck sooner or later. I find the thought of it. . .to much to bear. How do people balance out family work pleasure stress and then on top our selves. Forgotten the thread title. Yeah great. People believe they have control,i've come to the realisation that nobody does,its just better to believe it our selves,its the realisation that sometimes does more harm. I'll stop there,maybe you can summon some energy after awhile,and hopefully i can also.

[peripatetic]

I truly don't know. I'm trying to find some pattern of stability but five years is a long time to go without any sense of routine and I just keep having stuff slip up and slip away and crash. better luck to you :-)

EDIT: oh ****! I'm not bipolar. soz. didn't see where thread was and went off title. my apologies for confusion

[doiadhd]

Originally Posted by peripatetic

I truly don't know. I'm trying to find some pattern of stability but five years is a long time to go without any sense of routine and I just keep having stuff slip up and slip away and crash. better luck to you :-)

EDIT: oh ****! I'm not bipolar. soz. didn't see where thread was and went off title. my apologies for confusion

yeah,i'm not sure if i'm bipolar,used to be prescribed the medication though,but made me worse. I don't know what i am. I think its all similar any how.

[CheekyMonkey]

The first step is getting stabilized. Do whatever in your power to get the best cocktail for you. You won't be able to do much until that happens. I know it is expensive and brutal, but absolutely necessary.

I can tell you after my husband was hospitalized and therefore kicked out of PHD program from a great school, we both felt like it was the end. He had 1 year to go....now he had to start all over, with no work experience and still not 100% stable. It took a couple years, but he got back on track. He ended up defending for a masters and still works in his field.

There is always anger and regret about what is lost to bipolar, or any other disorder. I feel like that lingers, but gets easier to let go of once you see that you can be happy again.

[imaguy]

Wow!! I 'm sorry but can relate to this post. What a great theory. I've been ADHD for years but am recently--I'm 36-- unemployed due to a stay in the psych hospital. I've been diagnosed with BPII and i basically couldn't get out of bed and wanted to off myself.

I'm on a mood stabilizer (lamictal) now and feeling much better. I want to go back to work now but feel I've wrecked my career as an accountant.

Didn't meen to ramble, just wanted to acknowledge where you are at.

FYI- I've found it helpful to get out of the house every day and do career stuff at the library.

BEst of luck.

[Aethelhey]

Totally absolutely can relate. I literally just about half a year ago screwed up royally. I had a fantastic and promising job, great friends and respect from my family. Then my girlfriend left me and I fell into a manic episode and lost -everything-. Friends backed out, quit my job and can't get it back and my family thinks different of me and that's really really hard to deal with. And I'm still trying to get on my feet.

Now with Lamictal I actually have hope, happiness and motivation. Still pretty down but I've learned that you just can't keep thinking about what you've done and what you've lost because that keeps you there. Now I see it as an experience that I've learned so much from and it's made me that much stronger and wiser now.

Remember it really ain't all your fault. If you actually had a choice about whatever happened I'm sure you wouldn't have let whatever happened happen. We all succumb to our brain's problem at some point. You're definitely not alone and I bet you this happens to all of us -.-" My sister made me realize this and it's really helped me to understand myself and the entire situation and I don't beat myself up as much as I did. Just know it'll end and it -will- get better.

[imaguy]

This might sound silly, but this seems to work for me:

I start every morning listening to something uplifting(i do motivational audios from the library). It can be anything, spiritual or non-spritual, as long as it works for you.

I read somewhere, that depression is like a black dog peering around the corner. It's always there but I have to prevent it from jumping on me through medication and support. I'm really good at negative talk and focusing on past mistakes so having something to take me out of my thoughts has been helpful.

You definitely aren't alone. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces today, but am grateful for the motivation to "try".

Hang in there and thanks for posting.