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  #1  
Old 06-26-18, 11:56 PM
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I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Dang I'm doing good right now in life.
Things are FAR from perfect...I'm still struggling with a lot...
But I'm really taking some serious strides in my life.

hah! I just typed up a big post...but decided to delete it!
I'mma try (key word here is try!!! lol) to keep it short.

So I'm taking tons of steps forward in my life right now. I mean...things are really looking up for me. They have been for a few months now, but things have kicked up a notch here over the last few weeks.

And it feels like...if only I can hold on...I really have a chance here. A chance at happiness. A chance at fulfilling and meaningful employment. Becoming the man in me that I really love.

But...
I'm here waiting for the drop. The fall. The complete and utter (haha I was about to spell that as 'udder'. Thank goodness for google! ) destruction of my progress.
It's what's happened so many times in my life.

I'm focusing on 1 day at a time. I'm also trying to give myself permission to have small crashes. It's okay if I need to step back for a day or 2 and just let myself fall. Just as long as I don't spend too much time in that. That I use my tools and support systems to help get me back up and moving.

But that fear. It's real. It's deep. I've fallen from these highs over and over before in life. And they can take me months to recover from.

Any ideas?
Any tips?
Maybe something will click and make sense with me.
I do believe I can change. I do have a flame flickering inside me yet...even through all the fails of my past.
How do I keep myself from sabotaging myself? From that fall?

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  #2  
Old 06-27-18, 12:41 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

I wouldnít necessarily view it as an ADD issue. You will have successes and failures throughout life that are only measured in self-perspective. Just remember each day that is wonderfully outstanding will be countered with a bad day and each bad day will be countered with a great day. Enjoy the moment or learn from the mistakes, but don't let either get the better of you. For me, itís a way of staying humble and not letting life's messes get the best of me.
If you're waiting for something bad to happen, I hope you also have days that you wait for the good to happen as well.
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  #3  
Old 06-28-18, 01:25 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

This is an issue that is perfect for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Basically you have a thinking problem related to past experience. Because things have always gone bad in the past, they will go bad now.

Not true. Lots of people stop using drugs, quit smoking, help struggling children turn around their lives and on and on.

You can learn to talk back to that voice that says, "It's all gonna go bad. It's never lasted before."

Google CBT ... find a therapist if you can afford it ... Because this problem is so fixable. Lots of problems are more intractable--not this one.

You probably have evidence even in your own life that not all good things come to an end ... and you definitely know examples of people who have made progress in their lives ... from reading about celebrities or talking to friends. Remind yourself of these examples.
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  #4  
Old 06-28-18, 05:02 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToneTone View Post
This is an issue that is perfect for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

Basically you have a thinking problem related to past experience. Because things have always gone bad in the past, they will go bad now.

Not true. Lots of people stop using drugs, quit smoking, help struggling children turn around their lives and on and on.

You can learn to talk back to that voice that says, "It's all gonna go bad. It's never lasted before."

Google CBT ... find a therapist if you can afford it ... Because this problem is so fixable. Lots of problems are more intractable--not this one.

You probably have evidence even in your own life that not all good things come to an end ... and you definitely know examples of people who have made progress in their lives ... from reading about celebrities or talking to friends. Remind yourself of these examples.
That's just amazing...thank you so much for this post!

I'm actually very actively working with a therapist on CBT right now...and it's been an amazing experience for me.
I've known about CBT for many years...but I've never actually worked it. Now I really am.

And I'm not sure why it didn't occur to me to use CBT with the thoughts that I'm just going to fail again like I always do.

It's awesome that you opened me up to the idea of adjusting those thoughts.

Thank you! I really mean that!


p.s.
Next month marks my 8 year anniversary for being 100% tobacco free. So absolutely I know big sweeping change CAN happen...and CAN be maintained long term!
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Old 07-01-18, 08:50 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Oh man, it is SO EASY to miss how we can apply CBT to our own situation.

Easy for me to make the suggestion to you ... I struggle all the time to do this work with myself!!!!

The feelings we get are so convincing!
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Old 07-18-18, 04:46 PM
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Re: I'm doing good!...so how to prevent the inevitable crash?

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Dang I'm doing good right now in life.
Things are FAR from perfect...I'm still struggling with a lot...
But I'm really taking some serious strides in my life.

hah! I just typed up a big post...but decided to delete it!
I'mma try (key word here is try!!! lol) to keep it short.

So I'm taking tons of steps forward in my life right now. I mean...things are really looking up for me. They have been for a few months now, but things have kicked up a notch here over the last few weeks.

And it feels like...if only I can hold on...I really have a chance here. A chance at happiness. A chance at fulfilling and meaningful employment. Becoming the man in me that I really love.

But...
I'm here waiting for the drop. The fall. The complete and utter (haha I was about to spell that as 'udder'. Thank goodness for google! ) destruction of my progress.
It's what's happened so many times in my life.

I'm focusing on 1 day at a time. I'm also trying to give myself permission to have small crashes. It's okay if I need to step back for a day or 2 and just let myself fall. Just as long as I don't spend too much time in that. That I use my tools and support systems to help get me back up and moving.

But that fear. It's real. It's deep. I've fallen from these highs over and over before in life. And they can take me months to recover from.

Any ideas?
Any tips?
Maybe something will click and make sense with me.
I do believe I can change. I do have a flame flickering inside me yet...even through all the fails of my past.
How do I keep myself from sabotaging myself? From that fall?

(((Hugs)))
tried to answer his the other day, wrote a book, decided to sleep on it and come back.

as humans we relate to symbols. such as,. there is no such thing as a perfect circle in nature. pie would be 3 if there was a perfect circle, but pie is 3.1415...infinity. think of it, if the radius of a circle was three, then the big would never of expanded. we learn from nature because we are too, nature. the paradox is the answer to the perfection trap, we are perfect because we aren't and those that think they are won't grow (develop new skills, new friends, new confidence etc...) belief is funny like that.

awareness has power to it, such as, if you aren't aware that belief works that way then you won't change, but if you are, you will. awareness is like a light, a memory, a word or phrase.

awareness can be updated. but awareness isn't knowledge. try breathing in and out 5 times. by doing so you are aware, but by just reading "breath in and out 5 times" you know, but aren't aware. you have to be the one to process to become aware, to put in your own words/

"I'm here waiting for the drop" it sounds like you, psychopathic are aware of exposure therapy, to let yourself purposefully take the drop. however, there is a deeper awareness here that I don't know if you are aware of()

procrastination. there is lots written online about this (look up procrastination and psychology today).

before I get to that, there is something I call (I'm sure this has a more technical name) condensed meaning. I can write a book on, say, "there is no such thing as a perfect circle in nature". instead of writing said book, all the information is stored in that phrase, instead of a lengthy reminder to myself, all I have to do is say that phrase and my brain knows exactly what I'm talking about.

you can know what I'm going to say next, but knowing isn't awareness, you have to try and process the information yourself and come up with your own condensed awareness.

procrastination is the sum of all things we can't wait on. to be sure I just tried this to increase my own awareness. procrastination is a paradox though (god I love paradoxes) and we can use it as a tool cause, heh, I think we are all MASTERS of procrastination here. but procrastination get's a bad wrap simply because we lack the awareness of how to incorporate procrastination itself.

ever notice (comb your memories or maybe try this with a movie, youtube or something) that when you say "I can't wait for X" it's harder than dirt to do anything until X is done. so we tend to procrastinate until X is done even though we want to do other things, we can then bang our head against the walls thinking "what's wrong with me". awareness is key here (a jumpstart to awareness in anything new is to remember the breathing thing, that will get the brain moving towards awareness).

the truth is, nothing is wrong with people who procrastinate, we just need a perceptual change and use our mastery of procrastination as a tool for getting crap done.

the other part of the story is procrastination is a set of instructions for our brain, we therefore have to be exact in the purpose of the things we can't and can wait for. using myself as an example, there have been a lot of times I'll say "I can't wait for this this that and the other", the this are named things the that, aren't. words have power and we must try to be more exact in our wording to use procrastination as the powerhouse it can be.

cause everything has it's opposite. the opposite of procrastination is getting stuff done. procrastination itself is waiting for something to get done before we can do anything else.

the powerhouse in procrastination is when we are aware of it's implications, we can use it, the things we are masters on already, as a powerhouse to get things done.

ehh, I'm hesitant to use this example cause I don't want to program my brain right now for something in the future, but, I think I can work this out for myself to help someone else.

say we say something like "I can't wait for next Friday because this is going to happen", procrastination works by waiting for next Friday for that thing to happen. nothing is wrong with us when we do that, we are using the brain exactly as it's supposed to be used.

however we can say, "on second thought, I can wait, I have this other thing today I need to do"

our words and phrases have power, but it's up to each of us to use our own processing to make ourselfs work.

now the powerhouse of procrastination, or using procrastination to our advantage. say we have a task list, writing things down is the powerhouse (I've said that a lot, heh) of getting information in our brain. we can then say, looking at our very first task "I can't wait until I've gotten this done today".

that is using procrastination, flipping it upsidown, and using it to get stuff done.
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