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Careers/Job Impact This forum is for adults to discuss how AD/HD affects work and career.

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  #1  
Old 07-05-18, 03:05 PM
refresh refresh is offline
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I've been let go of, again. I need

It's been lingering in the air for a while now, 2 major security incidents in a row because of my inattentiveness and forgetfulness , I've been expecting it and in some way really hoping for it. To be released from this souldraining responsibility called 'a job' I can barely manage. Next week will be my last week, but in the meantime I will have to face questions from coworkers about why I can't manage a job with 10% of the caseload of my coworkers ?. 'I can manage your job in 1 hour' 'you're too slow', criticism I've heard over and over. You have ADD but you havent been diagnosed yet ?. You're not sure yet if you're sick or just lazy ?.

I've had this job for a bit more than 4months, I haven't completed the 6month trial. I've been let go of during the training for the actual job several times. Let go of or fired during the trial period. My current manager advised me to be a bit more kind to myself, my selftalk is very negative.

The only job I thrived in (for a little while) was where I was given no rules and no time restrictions to learn, I did it on my pace and I learned faster than I ever thought possible. My manager was pleased with my performance and learning ability, but eventually it also got repetitive and I stopped caring and also stopped learning, I couldn't bring up the energy anymore. I did do many creative things áfter work, like a parttime photography business, making small websites and painting. I still have these hobbies, almost my whole life actually.

My manager has been patient with me but she can see I don't care about this job, I don't care about the tech we're supporting, I like to create new things, not support things that already exist. Also not believing in my abilities turns into a selffullfilling prophecy. Low confidence, that's me.

To put in concisely, I have to go from failed tech support employee to a talented artist working in sculpture and new media changing peoples perceptions. Before getting there I need a new job that is not tech support ... I like programming and have been learning for webdeveloper but keeping my 'condition' in mind it's very slow going. I need to level up considerably in coding skills within 1, 2 months max. I need a coach, I can't manage time on my own or I'll slip again. Oh and I haven't been diagnosed for ADD yet, the test is due in 3 weeks. I needed to vent, need some support
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  #2  
Old 07-05-18, 05:33 PM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

All the ADHD people at my job are best of the best. You have to get through the programming logic and methods in ONE language and get them down well then they are easy to translate into other languages. Once you have those down to muscle memory you can actually start using your brain and you go where your brain takes you. And once into programming it tends to go and go and go and go until you are an hour late leaving.

Eh. I lost job after job in field after field until ending up at my current place. You'll get there eventually.
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Old 07-06-18, 04:02 PM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

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All the ADHD people at my job are best of the best. You have to get through the programming logic and methods in ONE language and get them down well then they are easy to translate into other languages. Once you have those down to muscle memory you can actually start using your brain and you go where your brain takes you. And once into programming it tends to go and go and go and go until you are an hour late leaving.
Eh. I lost job after job in field after field until ending up at my current place. You'll get there eventually.
Thanks for the tips! Focus on one language, good one, Javascript ? Python ?. I've inferred that you're a programmer but what is your job and what does it entail ? Yeah programming (like painting) triggers my hyperfocus so I can go on for 6-9 hours straight, with a few short breaks. How long did it take you to find out that you liked (loved?) coding ?. I've been dabbing in and out of front-end dev (html css js) for many years now, but I never abandoned it, this means I have to focus on it to give direction to my wreck of a career.

And I also love the creative stuff, can't live without it, I have to Create, or else there is not much point to living for me. I'd rather be an artist now, or better, an inventor. This takes time though = uncertainty = doubt = procrastinating
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Old 07-08-18, 02:42 PM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

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Thanks for the tips! Focus on one language, good one, Javascript ? Python ?. I've inferred that you're a programmer but what is your job and what does it entail ? Yeah programming (like painting) triggers my hyperfocus so I can go on for 6-9 hours straight, with a few short breaks. How long did it take you to find out that you liked (loved?) coding ?. I've been dabbing in and out of front-end dev (html css js) for many years now, but I never abandoned it, this means I have to focus on it to give direction to my wreck of a career.

And I also love the creative stuff, can't live without it, I have to Create, or else there is not much point to living for me. I'd rather be an artist now, or better, an inventor. This takes time though = uncertainty = doubt = procrastinating
I'm science driven. If I had my choice I'd be a mathematician or a physicist but it took me too long to realize that and the job market sucks. Now I watch math videos for fun. I'm also into art. Recently trying to get back into it.

I fell in love with programming because it's just solving logic problems (math). And I grew up on a computer. It just so happened that I had an opportunity to go to school for it so I went for it. Before that I had, like you, jumped from job to job to job and field to field. Low paying jobs.

I'm a software engineer. I maintain a website basically. I'm essentially a full stack dev. If you really want to know more about what I actually do on a daily basis as far as job requirements for reference I get into that, but that's the definition of what I do. Half the site is in VB.NET, half is in C#. C# is big right now I know. I also use ASP/HTML/Javascript. Depends on what you want to do. You can become a Java programmer and do applications development. I almost went that route. I learned mostly in Java but I don't use it at all now. The logic is all I really needed. If you want back end web development I'd suggest C#. Full stack is way cooler than web designer. Now we are moving to API. You'd want to familiarize yourself with that as well as it's becoming very very common.

Javascript is great just beware, if you aren't terribly far into it already, that beyond very basic javascript you can take an entire site down by screwing up a variable name. When I started at my current job no one would let me touch the javascript. Now I'm one of the only ones that knows how to use it and maintain it. It's just a skill that can make you more valuable.

Personally I use pluralsight for all my staying up to date needs. It is recorded lectures and demonstrations of various topics. I learned C# through this site. I didn't know it when I got my job. Now I recently wrote a stand alone application in C#. I get my company to pay for my yearly subscription. I think it's a few hundred bucks for a year. I'm using it right now to learn API which we are about to be expected to maintain as it comes down the pipes. It has anything you could want to learn.

For web dev you need to know two areas. Code and database. SQL is a must. Everything is going the way of the web. 10 years ago the website I work on now would have been an application. There is a company I almost applied to in my area that does something like word processing and they want Java. Somehow I ended up where I am but I'm used to it now.

If you only have ADHD you may be fine but I keep getting myself into trouble with med changes. Granted, I have 3 disorders (that we know). I go through a med change and my brain doesn't work right and I make a stupid mistake and get written up. That and really bad luck. I'm currently in trouble for my estimating ability lol. They gave me a one line project description and I was like "oh a few weeks". And then came the specs. more like a few (or 6) months. Give me proper scope before you ask me for timelines. I don't care enough to dispute the issue. I just have meetings with my manager every Friday for a month or so to work on my time estimates. However, I've made myself extremely valuable to the company. It would be very very hard for me to get fired due to that and the way the company culture is.

This is why I don't web design:

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Old 07-11-18, 11:02 AM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

I've been fired from that job yesterday, they initially wanted me to work till this friday, but I messed up so badly again they fired me immediately. The humiliation still hurts now, as it should. I almost wanted to quit this job the day I started it, because I felt not competent enough. I was escorted out of the building from my 3 previous tech support jobs, so I had no reason to believe it would be different now. My manager noticed my low selfconfidence and tried to help and encourage me, but still I failed to live up to their expectations, and mine. I was so convinced I would get fired 4 times before but none of those times anything happened, it was all in my head.



I dreaded those hours at the office, because I knew I had not much to do but wouldn't be able to handle the same workload as the rest. I let everyone down, I can't face them and myself. I hope this really is a sign to stop lying to myself about what I want from life. I can't go back to tech support, not suited for it at all. But what else ? I have a limited timeframe (3 weeks) to get proficient enough to score a webdev job... Sorry I needed to vent I really appreciate your input, fills me with hope in these dark times.
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Old 07-11-18, 01:00 PM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

After your test, get yourself diagnosed and on meds. They don't help everyone but they can change your life if they work. I think it's really important you do this and should prioritize it. You need therapy too from the sounds of it but meds 1st if you can't bring yourself to do both.


I don't know a single company that doesn't escort someone our who's been terminated. It isn't anything personal. It's just a safety precaution.
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Old 07-12-18, 08:32 AM
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Re: I've been let go of, again. I need

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After your test, get yourself diagnosed and on meds. They don't help everyone but they can change your life if they work. I think it's really important you do this and should prioritize it. You need therapy too from the sounds of it but meds 1st if you can't bring yourself to do both.

I don't know a single company that doesn't escort someone our who's been terminated. It isn't anything personal. It's just a safety precaution.
I'm not talking about how I was terminated, but thát I was terminated so many times in a row, from the same kind of job. I mean even if I was forced to it would be unwise to apply for a techsupport gig, firstly I have to lie a lot to get the job. I can't lie like that anymore, not to myself and others. The universe seems to warn to never do this job again, but now what ?. I need a job with a lot more social contact (sales or health) and/or strong creative aspect like coding or cgi design.
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