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Old 09-19-18, 01:42 AM
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Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

Hi,

So my 9-year-old daughter with ADHD had an issue at school with some headphones she was supposed to keep on for a test (turns out it was causing her earring pins to stick into her neck), and one of her teachers called and said she had a "problem differentiating small problems from big problems" when she wouldn't stop complaining about it, and basically wanted to know what was being done about it.

Anyone seen this issue with ADHD kids? She's currently in counseling to reduce general anxiety levels, so hasn't been able to get into OT yet to help with executive functioning, which I think would help things like this.

Any help?
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Old 09-19-18, 05:06 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

What a ridiculous teacher. Differentiating small problems from big ones? Isnt that subjective? Isnt that a matter of how the child feels? I wonder what this teacher does when she has an issue? Does someone tell her its no big deal?
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Old 09-19-18, 05:45 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

There is no such thing as a small or big problem
Actually it depends which problem , and how much it annoys a person


So it is teacher’s problem , not your daughter

But if teacher is reflecting his/her problem
Then you and your daughter have a problem with teacher

So i cant see any problem with you and your daughter
Teacher is the one who creates problems

Try to find a middle way or find another teacher for your daughter

And it isn’t teacher’s job to find alternative ways to mental problems, teacher cant do
Not capable of it

If teacher means complicated Quiz questions
It isnt problem, it is ADHD
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Old 09-19-18, 06:54 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

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Originally Posted by DanielGM1970 View Post
Hi,

So my 9-year-old daughter with ADHD had an issue at school with some headphones she was supposed to keep on for a test (turns out it was causing her earring pins to stick into her neck), and one of her teachers called and said she had a "problem differentiating small problems from big problems" when she wouldn't stop complaining about it, and basically wanted to know what was being done about it.

Anyone seen this issue with ADHD kids? She's currently in counseling to reduce general anxiety levels, so hasn't been able to get into OT yet to help with executive functioning, which I think would help things like this.

Any help?
I agree, this was the teachers problem. I have a 9 year old daughter too and to be perfectly blunt, her small problems ARE big problems because she doesn't have big problems. She's not worrying about how to pay a mortgage, or not to tick off her boss. Heck, she lectured me about 9 times about forgetting to pay her after school program money and getting an envelope three days in a row!

Earrings jabbing her due to headphones she is required to wear IS a big problem for a 9 year old. As to what is being done about it, just tell the teacher to ask her to take the earrings out before requiring the headphone use....you would think a college educated adult would be better at problem solving, duh!
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Old 09-19-18, 08:34 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

I don't know about children with ADHD (though I agree with the others that the severity of a problem is extremely relative and it's only the Person who is experiencing that can know how a problem ranks among their problems) but I too sometimes can't differentiate between small or large problems. Rather I know that something isn't worth getting fupset or stressed about but that doesn't change how I feel.

Mainly this is due to:

1. Anxiety. When I'm anxious everything feels like a matter of life and death even though I know it is not. I guess it's because my default state is anxiety and everything is interpreted through and coloured by that anxiety.

2. When I'm tired or stressed I just can't put in the effort to 1. Differentiate or reason and 2. To regulate my emotions or my response so I over react to the tiniest little thing fully knowing that I'm over reacting.

3. When I've got relatively severe problems little problems are often the drop the spill my cup over (or however the saying goes). It's a bit like "gosh with everything that's going on I just can't deal with running out of hand wash as well. Why is everything in life so ****? Why can't even the little things work???"

Sorry... I'm not expressing myself well. Hope that made sense.

Last edited by Fuzzy12; 09-19-18 at 08:48 AM..
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Old 09-19-18, 09:39 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

Thanks so much guys.
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Old 09-20-18, 11:20 PM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

It's difficult to know what the teacher meant by her statement. I'm sorry your daughter has to go through this. Have you considered asking for a teacher meeting? Maybe you could meet with the teacher to get a better understanding of what she is trying to say. Have you thought about asking her if there are other behaviors that occur in the classroom? Maybe you can ask if she has any suggestions about how to handle your daughters behaviors. Wishing you the best.
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Old 09-21-18, 11:09 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

Yes, the teachers want to meet, so that will provide an opportunity to voice any concerns and figure out exactly what's going on.
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Old 09-21-18, 11:19 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

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Originally Posted by DanielGM1970 View Post
Yes, the teachers want to meet, so that will provide an opportunity to voice any concerns and figure out exactly what's going on.
Daniel- (I so want to say 'danny-boy' because I give everyone nicknames but I'll refrain) I have three kids- 22,18,15 all with adhd and have dealt with school systems since my 22 year old son was in preschool. No matter how small, big, insignificant or significant this seems its in your best interest to have someone other than the teacher present. Whether its a case worker, special ed monitor, guidance counselor or principal its important that the teacher knows what she says is being paid attention to. You would be surprised at how easily facts and words get twisted, misunderstood or forgotten. I had to learn (through my own sobriety) that conversation does not equal confrontation. You can be firm and direct and its up to that person to take it however they take it. This is your 9 year old we are talking about here. She cant advocate for herself yet and the world is too busy raising compliant citizens so she may not know when she should advocate for herself yet. I know that there were times in IEP meetings that I recorded them. I told them all that I wanted a personal record(therefore informing them of the recording) and they chose all their words very carefully and did not rush me or poo-poo my thoughts or concerns. I know this situation may be small potatoes in the grand scheme of things but setting a good precedent can go miles for future situations.
ps: Does she have an IEP or 504?
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Old 09-21-18, 11:57 AM
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Re: Difficulty differentiating small problems/big problems

Nope, no IEP yet; we had a meeting with teacher and counselors last year and it was determined it was not needed.

I think the ADHD is getting worse though, including the emotional regulation and anxiety, so maybe that will be amended this school year.

One problem is she hasn't been able to get OT yet, because the OT place first insisted she get counseling to reduce anxiety levels, so we are going through that process. So she can't get the techniques in place for regulating emotions. I'll talk to her counselor about the situation and see if she can help with it in the meantime.

D.
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