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  #16  
Old 08-13-17, 01:00 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

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Originally Posted by CharlesH View Post
I myself would probably be considered by outsiders to be a high functioning ADHD, but that would be based on a rather superficial view of my outward functioning, and ignores the internal chaos that permeates my daily routine. A previous psychiatrist had diagnosed me with Aspergers, but as SarahSweets said, that is no longer in the DSM, so perhaps I am in fact somewhere on the autism spectrum, but I don't know.

Ironically, your writing style makes you come across to me as someone who is an organized, articulate thinker. I'm not a medical professional. Do you have a psychiatrist and/or psychologist/therapist? If so, what is their opinion? Have you considered the possibility of a learning disorder (which can be in addition to, or instead of, other potential conditions such as ADHD, ASD, etc)? Could you share more information about your life story (education, family background, work history, etc)? Have you ever had a neuropsychological or psychoeducational assessments? Any family history of mental/neurological illness?
My writing style gives that impression because I like words, I like writing, I'm good with spelling/grammar but most of all is that I try to *take my time* to reply. Probably I write half as fast as the slowest of y'all.

I hope no one mistakes it for intelligence (although that happens a lot.) Intelligence is actually about comprehension, not just writing things down. I don't have comprehension and that's the bane of my existence.

The first therapist many years ago said "social anxiety" which is 100% correct. Later on after developing serious addiction problems, a different therapist agreed that I have ADD.

I'll not discuss the more personal details for the moment.

The two other "learning disorders" which may be of interest include Dyspraxia and NVLD (non-verbal learning disorder.) I have elements of both.
As I understand the first by itself should theoretically not affect social skills. The second is a close match but it appears there is much confusion about this disorder and I think NVLD isn't in the newest DSM.

It seems to me that a lot of Asperger/autistic folks have traits that fit NVLD. As I understand NVLD by itself usually doesn't have the social disconnect nor the inflexibility/routines.
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  #17  
Old 08-14-17, 12:09 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

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Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
what would it mean for you "to connect"? i mean in practical terms: what does that look like?
In a sense it is quite simple. I'm looking for ADD/ADHD types who are low functioning in general, as defined by being academically crappy as well as being *socially* low functioning (avoidant, anxious, unable to socialize in groups.) I believe these folks exist, but will not mention these difficulties out of shame.

The other way to look at it is I'm looking for Asperger's folks who are not academically distinguished/not "students for life." But I cannot find them.
But that is bulls**t; studies show the vast majority of folks on the spectrum are severely compromised by societal standards per age. College standouts are the exception, not the rule. It's just these folks won't speak up because it goes against the stereotype of "poor socially, but gifted academically." (Aspies will never admit to lacking academic smarts, even if they have a GED.)

You might say it seems weird to ask if folks "fit" a category defined by underperformance. But ask yourself this: how else/who else can I relate to? Do you have a good answer for that?

Would I relate to someone who is high functioning and has their "good degree" with their "good career" and a social circle to participate in?

This problem of disconnect extends to other specific areas as well, but that's where the blinding rage comes in and I have to get politically incorrect to make the point come across. You can guess what I'm talking about if you want. I have to force myself to keep quiet on this, out of politeness.

Try and think about where "status" and "class" and "social worth" come into play the most, and you might have an idea. And you might have your answer as to why I am looking for a "mirror image" because literally no one else extends even the faintest glimmer of a chance. Again, this is shaky territory and I'm not really able to talk about it here.
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  #18  
Old 08-14-17, 01:47 PM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
In a sense it is quite simple. I'm looking for ADD/ADHD types who are low functioning in general, as defined by being academically crappy as well as being *socially* low functioning (avoidant, anxious, unable to socialize in groups.) I believe these folks exist, but will not mention these difficulties out of shame.

The other way to look at it is I'm looking for Asperger's folks who are not academically distinguished/not "students for life." But I cannot find them.
But that is bulls**t; studies show the vast majority of folks on the spectrum are severely compromised by societal standards per age. College standouts are the exception, not the rule. It's just these folks won't speak up because it goes against the stereotype of "poor socially, but gifted academically." (Aspies will never admit to lacking academic smarts, even if they have a GED.)

You might say it seems weird to ask if folks "fit" a category defined by underperformance. But ask yourself this: how else/who else can I relate to? Do you have a good answer for that?

Would I relate to someone who is high functioning and has their "good degree" with their "good career" and a social circle to participate in?

This problem of disconnect extends to other specific areas as well, but that's where the blinding rage comes in and I have to get politically incorrect to make the point come across. You can guess what I'm talking about if you want. I have to force myself to keep quiet on this, out of politeness.

Try and think about where "status" and "class" and "social worth" come into play the most, and you might have an idea. And you might have your answer as to why I am looking for a "mirror image" because literally no one else extends even the faintest glimmer of a chance. Again, this is shaky territory and I'm not really able to talk about it here.
Those who are considered low functioning or struggle more with any social
communication are less likely to be found on forums like this or A Different
Planet, because the struggle is real and they're tired of being made fun of
for spelling mistakes and poor grammar.
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  #19  
Old 08-17-17, 08:14 PM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
In a sense it is quite simple. I'm looking for ADD/ADHD types who are low functioning in general, as defined by being academically crappy as well as being *socially* low functioning (avoidant, anxious, unable to socialize in groups.) I believe these folks exist, but will not mention these difficulties out of shame.

The other way to look at it is I'm looking for Asperger's folks who are not academically distinguished/not "students for life." But I cannot find them.
But that is bulls**t; studies show the vast majority of folks on the spectrum are severely compromised by societal standards per age. College standouts are the exception, not the rule. It's just these folks won't speak up because it goes against the stereotype of "poor socially, but gifted academically." (Aspies will never admit to lacking academic smarts, even if they have a GED.)

You might say it seems weird to ask if folks "fit" a category defined by underperformance. But ask yourself this: how else/who else can I relate to? Do you have a good answer for that?

Would I relate to someone who is high functioning and has their "good degree" with their "good career" and a social circle to participate in?

This problem of disconnect extends to other specific areas as well, but that's where the blinding rage comes in and I have to get politically incorrect to make the point come across. You can guess what I'm talking about if you want. I have to force myself to keep quiet on this, out of politeness.

Try and think about where "status" and "class" and "social worth" come into play the most, and you might have an idea. And you might have your answer as to why I am looking for a "mirror image" because literally no one else extends even the faintest glimmer of a chance. Again, this is shaky territory and I'm not really able to talk about it here.
I swear I've tried to figure out what you're intimating and I haven't a ******* clue... I'm not good with subtle or subtext usually.

Anyway, I'm pretty low functioning and have ADHD. No asbergers but I have other awful things. I have been relatively high functioning in the past, especially given my other diagnoses, but I'm pretty ****ty at the moment.

I'm semi nervous about my urgent psych appointment tomorrow because I wonder how low on the GAF scale I've actually dipped, but I guess I'll find out.

I had a lot of academic support.

I don't know what I'm saying but I think my point of points in the question more, like, does connecting mean messaging or phoning or is it in person thing or ...what're the concrete consequences of connecting in the way you desire? I think figuring that out you could work backwards to set those needs in place in relationships that arise.
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  #20  
Old 08-18-17, 12:23 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

In my worst moments I feel like a defect. You aren't a defect. Neither am I. ADHD is hard. Keep your head up.
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  #21  
Old 08-18-17, 06:55 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
In a sense it is quite simple. I'm looking for ADD/ADHD types who are low functioning in general, as defined by being academically crappy as well as being *socially* low functioning (avoidant, anxious, unable to socialize in groups.) I believe these folks exist, but will not mention these difficulties out of shame.

The other way to look at it is I'm looking for Asperger's folks who are not academically distinguished/not "students for life." But I cannot find them.
But that is bulls**t; studies show the vast majority of folks on the spectrum are severely compromised by societal standards per age. College standouts are the exception, not the rule. It's just these folks won't speak up because it goes against the stereotype of "poor socially, but gifted academically." (Aspies will never admit to lacking academic smarts, even if they have a GED.)

You might say it seems weird to ask if folks "fit" a category defined by underperformance. But ask yourself this: how else/who else can I relate to? Do you have a good answer for that?

Would I relate to someone who is high functioning and has their "good degree" with their "good career" and a social circle to participate in?

This problem of disconnect extends to other specific areas as well, but that's where the blinding rage comes in and I have to get politically incorrect to make the point come across. You can guess what I'm talking about if you want. I have to force myself to keep quiet on this, out of politeness.

Try and think about where "status" and "class" and "social worth" come into play the most, and you might have an idea. And you might have your answer as to why I am looking for a "mirror image" because literally no one else extends even the faintest glimmer of a chance. Again, this is shaky territory and I'm not really able to talk about it here.
I dont see why you would have to get Politically incorrect to make your points. and I get it that you want people to post that have similar troubles but sometimes I find that the people who seem to be unrelatable to me have the wisest words.
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  #22  
Old 08-19-17, 12:18 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
Those who are considered low functioning or struggle more with any social
communication are less likely to be found on forums like this or A Different
Planet, because the struggle is real and they're tired of being made fun of
for spelling mistakes and poor grammar.
You misunderstand. I'm looking for folks with terrible ADD who also have genuine social difficulties. I have asked if anyone relates to this struggle before. But the only thing I have found in all my years of being here, and also recently, is folks telling me "Yes I have all this, I suck at everything, I was not good in school, I have social anxiety," and then I hear this person telling me he's been in 15 relationships and just got married, etc. To me, that does not amount to a social disability.

Another way to look at it: I'm looking for dateless permavirgin ADDers, who relate to the feeling of eternal loneliness and start to feel worthless because they cannot connect to anyone in any circumstance, no one understands them and no one makes any effort and no one f*****g cares. I am looking for other folks who relate to this, or used to be like this.. because I want to know HOW they got out of it. Or if they never did, so we have a quest to share and talk about.

The reason I ask is, like I said, I haven't found anyone I can relate to here, or in any other forum. I am basically a low functioning person because of a strange mix of attentional problems, social problems, and anxiety. I'm looking for someone who identifies with this cluster of issues. It appears not many folks have this cluster of traits to the same degree I have, even if they claim to have it, it's always later on explained, "but I still got my Master degree, or I have 500 friends on Facebook and travel somewhere with friends every month, while getting dates left and right." I'm sorry but that does not even come close to the experience I have in life; it is largely the opposite. Which is why it puzzles me that folks still say "yes I relate to all that!" but you really don't. That's a slap in the face.

If folks still do not understand what I'm looking for, I don't know how else to explain it. PM me if you want further clarification, or if you do identify with this but too embarrassed to mention it here. I'm just tired of feeling like some worthless anomaly, at this point.
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  #23  
Old 08-19-17, 12:38 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

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Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
I swear I've tried to figure out what you're intimating and I haven't a ******* clue... I'm not good with subtle or subtext usually.
I'm glad you haven't given up. I tried to make it more clear in the post before this one. I tried to be as literal as possible this time, it's all on the surface.

Quote:
Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
Anyway, I'm pretty low functioning and have ADHD. No asbergers but I have other awful things. I have been relatively high functioning in the past, especially given my other diagnoses, but I'm pretty ****ty at the moment.

I'm semi nervous about my urgent psych appointment tomorrow because I wonder how low on the GAF scale I've actually dipped, but I guess I'll find out.
I actually have a legit question about this GAF scale. How would such a thing be assessed? If I was to assess myself based on the short description I just read online, I can't imagine getting any higher than "50."

Quote:
Originally Posted by peripatetic View Post
I don't know what I'm saying but I think my point of points in the question more, like, does connecting mean messaging or phoning or is it in person thing or ...what're the concrete consequences of connecting in the way you desire? I think figuring that out you could work backwards to set those needs in place in relationships that arise.
It's any of the above. Obviously I would like to connect more with folks in real life but I have been socially avoidant for a minimum of 10 years now. Connected with that, I'm also out-of-the-loop in other ways which makes for a great deal of embarrassment and self-loathing, which then feeds the cycle of social avoidance.

So I look for online support. But as said, I don't really find others who experience the same issues I have to the same (high severity) degree. It's those folks I am looking for.

I'm too "unacademic and unfocused" for Asperger's, so I tend to feel left out in autistic-themed forums. Too "socially disabled" for ADD, so I tend to feel left out in ADD-themed forums. Do you see what I'm saying? I don't feel like I fit anywhere.

I would not be surprised if folks reply to this post saying "actually, ADDers also face social difficulties" to which I agree, I know the literature and the facts are in line with that. But that's not how it plays out with the individuals who populate this forum. This forum and other ADD forums has a majority of socially active folks, or folks who have had romantic partners. You see I don't relate to that either.
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  #24  
Old 08-19-17, 01:00 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

my concentration and reading ability is **** right now, so i have to reply within the post. mine is the bold. well, of course...you would know that since the non bold would be what you wrote. duh, peri.

anyway...here goes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
I'm glad you haven't given up. I tried to make it more clear in the post before this one. I tried to be as literal as possible this time, it's all on the surface.

i think i understand what you're getting at now. i am not that person, but i am a decent listener. i don't have quite the social disability you describe, but i do have three diagnoses, one of which was adhd as an eight-year old.

my now "primary" diagnosis causes me a great deal of social issues. probably not the same sorts you face, but i do understand and relate to feeling alien, isolated, unfitting. sometimes i can't communicate clearly at all. i do weird things...i have odd behaviors at times. i get very...leery of people...i've had some public spectacle problems...

it's not the same. and i haven't always had this degree of difficulty in life. but then again, my fairly symptomatic right now and yet i've been far worse and i didn't get put inpatient involuntarily today so i'm not doing super poorly. my psychiatrist did note my conversation issues. it's easier for me to type my stream of consciousness...or i try to filter it some so that i'm not typing gibberish, but i haven't been talking to people except at a bare minimum of late because i'm afraid of what will come out and it might not be me. it's complicated.

i am married. but i've also spent nearly three years at a stretch not leaving my house during the daylight due to agoraphobia (kind of partially a symptom of my primary diagnosis and partially due to intrusive thoughts from OCD...i'm just a bag of fun).


I actually have a legit question about this GAF scale. How would such a thing be assessed? If I was to assess myself based on the short description I just read online, I can't imagine getting any higher than "50."

short answer: Q&A. like, i didn't ask where he thought i was today because i don't really want to know. i'm certain i'm under forty simply because i am, as i said, symptomatic. but i know it and am not compelled by things at this point, so i've not lost insight. i'm also not actively suicidal, so, you know...small miracles and ****.

longer answer: my psychiatrist is clever and asks questions that will reveal where i am. there is more formal testing, but i don't ...like...there are inventories of various lengths, but GAF is, or was....i think it's being used less now and the BPRS is maybe more common...anyway, it's often done on intake. if you're under fifty... i don't know what specifically is getting you there, but ...

sorry, i just lost my train of thought there. i'll try to find it again, but moving on for now...because once derailed it's impossible to find unless i fully abandon it.


It's any of the above. Obviously I would like to connect more with folks in real life but I have been socially avoidant for a minimum of 10 years now. Connected with that, I'm also out-of-the-loop in other ways which makes for a great deal of embarrassment and self-loathing, which then feeds the cycle of social avoidance.

that makes sense. i feel out of loops myself. i don't have television because i can't handle the idea of cabling coming in. i can't watch videos. i'm not involved in popular culture and i'm outraged and overly...i can become overstimulated in certain thought patterns when i dwell on politics, let's say.

So I look for online support. But as said, I don't really find others who experience the same issues I have to the same (high severity) degree. It's those folks I am looking for.

well, as i said above, i do and don't relate. you're welcome to message me though. i'm not always around because my mental illnesses sometimes preclude my being able to be online. but, there's the present.

I'm too "unacademic and unfocused" for Asperger's, so I tend to feel left out in autistic-themed forums. Too "socially disabled" for ADD, so I tend to feel left out in ADD-themed forums. Do you see what I'm saying? I don't feel like I fit anywhere.

yes, i see what you're saying. i feel like i fit here once but maybe not anymore because i'm ...not just adhd. and there've been more like me in the past. but then, i also know that being symptomatic makes me feel isolated and alienated and unable to connect and also feel that i shouldn't because it's going to be detrimental to others, blah blah blah... but i do retain an amount of insight currently and it's probably not the case that i'm ...i don't know. as adrift as i feel...as incapable as i feel...

i'm not saying your situation is the same. but, i mean, i'm talking to you. luna's talking to you. you're not unwanted here is my point. though i do get that that's one thing to say and another to personally feel valued and heard.


I would not be surprised if folks reply to this post saying "actually, ADDers also face social difficulties" to which I agree, I know the literature and the facts are in line with that. But that's not how it plays out with the individuals who populate this forum. This forum and other ADD forums has a majority of socially active folks, or folks who have had romantic partners. You see I don't relate to that either.

yeah, i get what you're saying. and, as i said, i've not been unsociable the entirety of my life, though i've always been socially...i misfire a lot, let's say. i do relate to feeling like i've posted things, not of late because i don't' really...i mean, i don't expect others to really have first-hand experience with a lot of the symptoms i have. i know they don't. but in times past i've said i think this or that or i've done something and people will post that they are the same and their very response indicates they are totally NOT. so, i mean, i appreciate that that's frustrating.
ok, i hope that's sensical. i have to just hit submit because i've written too long to go back and edit as i simply lack the ..not concentration, but my thoughts are fragmented and so i have to hope for the best.

EDIT: what i was going to say is that the GAF has been used to assess disability. at least it has been for me at times. but i've been deemed "permanently and completely disabled", though i don't really see myself as totally that. i mean, not only that. but at the time, it was..i was in the hospital and i'd been there since maybe an october and it was a january and then....it was a really rough rough year...or few years there. anyway, if you're scoring under fifty i think that that's something your mental health persons should be addressing. if memory serves fifty is not necessarily a cut off point...but i actually think sixty might be.

anyway, i don't know if i fully answered your question so let me know if not and i'll take another stab at it.

Last edited by peripatetic; 08-19-17 at 01:09 AM.. Reason: edit: i remembered something
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Old 08-19-17, 12:40 PM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
You misunderstand. I'm looking for folks with terrible ADD who also have genuine social difficulties. I have asked if anyone relates to this struggle before. But the only thing I have found in all my years of being here, and also recently, is folks telling me "Yes I have all this, I suck at everything, I was not good in school, I have social anxiety," and then I hear this person telling me he's been in 15 relationships and just got married, etc. To me, that does not amount to a social disability.

Another way to look at it: I'm looking for dateless permavirgin ADDers, who relate to the feeling of eternal loneliness and start to feel worthless because they cannot connect to anyone in any circumstance, no one understands them and no one makes any effort and no one f*****g cares. I am looking for other folks who relate to this, or used to be like this.. because I want to know HOW they got out of it. Or if they never did, so we have a quest to share and talk about.

The reason I ask is, like I said, I haven't found anyone I can relate to here, or in any other forum. I am basically a low functioning person because of a strange mix of attentional problems, social problems, and anxiety. I'm looking for someone who identifies with this cluster of issues. It appears not many folks have this cluster of traits to the same degree I have, even if they claim to have it, it's always later on explained, "but I still got my Master degree, or I have 500 friends on Facebook and travel somewhere with friends every month, while getting dates left and right." I'm sorry but that does not even come close to the experience I have in life; it is largely the opposite. Which is why it puzzles me that folks still say "yes I relate to all that!" but you really don't. That's a slap in the face.

If folks still do not understand what I'm looking for, I don't know how else to explain it. PM me if you want further clarification, or if you do identify with this but too embarrassed to mention it here. I'm just tired of feeling like some worthless anomaly, at this point.
I too have terrible adhd, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, autism and ptsd.
I've had a few friends over the years, mostly based on common interests.
But I'm horrible at staying in touch with people or suggesting get togethers.
And I was married for 20 years, mostly unpleasant years, lots of depression.

So it sounds like I have the same disorders you have, but in some way I've
been able to do some things you haven't. I don't have any clue why that is.
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  #26  
Old 08-21-17, 12:08 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunacie View Post
I too have terrible adhd, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, autism and ptsd.
I've had a few friends over the years, mostly based on common interests.
But I'm horrible at staying in touch with people or suggesting get togethers.
And I was married for 20 years, mostly unpleasant years, lots of depression.

So it sounds like I have the same disorders you have, but in some way I've
been able to do some things you haven't. I don't have any clue why that is.
As if having no prospects for anything wasn't bad enough (by that, I mean I can barely do anything expected of an adult).. it continues to bother me that I cannot connect anywhere or with anyone, real life OR online.

I do not know what to do "socially," what to say, what to attempt, what to practice, how to practice, and if that wasn't bad enough... I'm a guy in my 30s with so much social atrophy I may be too far gone already. This concept of being in a sense "banished" from the human race --combined with some damn annoying health issues that only get worse every year, no treatment is possible thus far--is leading to more than my fair share of suicidal ideation.

Must I accept being a useless and defective lemon for the entirety of life? Must I accept that no wimmin will ever have any interest, for the entirety of life? I mean, if that's how it is going to be... then what's the point? What's the use? "Gratitude" by relativity is not always good enough; the goal posts just change to force others into the "ultimate loser" category if you grew up around affluence, like I did. Living permanently with that status attached to oneself... it's not good. (You can see the results right here.)

Folks my age are ridiculously busy, working decent jobs of at least 12 hours per day, while having romantic partner(s) and a busy social life and craploads of future plans and they appear able to learn anything, at any time, without even thinking. That is my exaggerated (or perhaps true?) version of NT or otherwise "no executive dysfunction."

I cannot do any of that, at all, not even the slightest bit of it. Indeed, what possibility for any desirable goal, could be had?

Am I only one who talks about this stuff at length? Do I have to be the ONLY "ultimate loser" to speak up? Certainly there have been plenty of these folks in all the support forums I've been to, but about 99% percent of them write ONE post and then leave. I don't get that.
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Old 08-21-17, 12:17 AM
peripatetic peripatetic is offline
 
 
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

if you're asking if there isn't ANYONE who is currently very low functioning.

i'm sorry my post was unclear. historically, i have been better. currently, i'm not doing well at all. and that could be what i endure for the foreseeable future. no, i don't have asbergers. but i do hear voices. multiple ones. talking about me, questioning me, running commentary, feeding urges. i have compulsions. and i become obsessed with what most would consider "irrational" thoughts. i need desperately to go to the dentist, but i won't because i'm afraid they'll try to implant some type of transmitter or tracking device into the filling. and i'm finding it increasingly difficult to not listen to the suggestions of pulling out any fillings/crowns by any means necessary.

to be extra clear: i won't. not tonight. i have a shred of insight left...like holding a rope on a hot air balloon...i'm still holding that one rope. for now. and i know that if i give in to these urges and compulsively remove what's suggested, it'd be all bloody and i'd be put into the hospital FOR SURE. i mean, without a doubt. and not a quick stay either. a minimum month or two.

so i'm basically gambling that these are breakthrough symptoms though they could be the start of an episode. i don't know for certain, but it would be vastly preferable if it were the former. and i'll know by tomorrow, because the adjustments will either start quieting the voices or let me be able to have conversations and not be worried about thought pouring from my head and exposed and burning or decaying and the smell is disgusting.

so, that's my situation. no, we are not alike diagnostically except i've been diagnosed adhd since age eight.

but i definitely have some social issues. i also have some court issues because of things i did in public places.

i get that you're looking for this idea person like you, but maybe find a few people with a common trait or two and build from there?

that's my suggestion.
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  #28  
Old 08-21-17, 01:23 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Batman55 View Post
In a sense it is quite simple. I'm looking for ADD/ADHD types who are low functioning in general, as defined by being academically crappy as well as being *socially* low functioning (avoidant, anxious, unable to socialize in groups.) I believe these folks exist, but will not mention these difficulties out of shame.

The other way to look at it is I'm looking for Asperger's folks who are not academically distinguished/not "students for life." But I cannot find them.
But that is bulls**t; studies show the vast majority of folks on the spectrum are severely compromised by societal standards per age. College standouts are the exception, not the rule. It's just these folks won't speak up because it goes against the stereotype of "poor socially, but gifted academically." (Aspies will never admit to lacking academic smarts, even if they have a GED.)

You might say it seems weird to ask if folks "fit" a category defined by underperformance. But ask yourself this: how else/who else can I relate to? Do you have a good answer for that?

Would I relate to someone who is high functioning and has their "good degree" with their "good career" and a social circle to participate in?

This problem of disconnect extends to other specific areas as well, but that's where the blinding rage comes in and I have to get politically incorrect to make the point come across. You can guess what I'm talking about if you want. I have to force myself to keep quiet on this, out of politeness.

Try and think about where "status" and "class" and "social worth" come into play the most, and you might have an idea. And you might have your answer as to why I am looking for a "mirror image" because literally no one else extends even the faintest glimmer of a chance. Again, this is shaky territory and I'm not really able to talk about it here.
I failed out of college and very much meet the criteria of avoidant personality

That's academic crappy and would easily qualify for your social criteria

Does that help?
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Old 08-21-17, 01:25 AM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

Was addicted to coke and went to prison if that helps too
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Old 08-21-17, 02:08 PM
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Re: Anyone else like this or "am I just a worthless genetic defect?"

I don't really want to outline just how badly I function right now, but I've had a lot of issues over time and continue to have most them.

My issues are not identical to yours, and I am definitely in a relationship now (after 20 years of not being in any relationships), but I do have my own challenges.
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