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Old 03-19-17, 03:23 AM
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Venting....Can't Get it Together

So, I'm worse (of course, right?) And been to the doctor, to get even more crazy pills, and have been on them a week seeing little to no change.

I have been on Adderal 30 XR in am, 15 IR in early evening, and at night Effexor XR 150 mg. I have been suicidally depressed th the past month, and am able somehow to function at work. But at home i am a mess. I am either in sit in a chait and space out mode, or laying there listening to evanescense bawling. I cant clean, i just move the same **** around. Anytime i do anything, its a horrible mess. All that makes me feel better is doing arts and crafts, so i have paint and stuff everywhere.

I have some need to have it "clean", and "pretty", so im stressed about it.

I dont know if i even like what i am doing anymore, but its all i know.

So im still on those meds and ambien 5 to 10 mg , also abilify 2 mg and provigil. I dont see a change.


I am a zombie at home i walk around wanting to do somethin but unable to feel the slightest motivation. I dont even have all our stuff moved from the other house. I am about of the mood to just leave mosr of it.

Its like i dont know what to do anymore, im cleaning brain damaged or something.
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