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Old 02-12-17, 07:36 PM
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Unhappy 23... Diagnosed Too Late

Hey everybody. This is probably not a very nice welcome post, but I figured it's best to be honest.

I was diagnosed two weeks ago after seeing a psychiatrist for issues concerning social anxiety and paranoia that have prevented me from pushing through hard times in study (I've had so many endeavours in education, and nothing to show for it). As soon as I get a whiff of "This doesn't sense/is too vague" or "They don't like me asking questions" or "They think I'm an idiot!" I'm out. It took me a day and half of reading all about ADD online for it to really sink in that I had this.

Back when I tried uni, I would get a great grade on one paper, and a big fat zero on the next because I still hadn't figured out how to write it. The best time of my life was high school because I could ask the teachers anything (practically demanded information) and they'd actually answer. I got great grades (mostly) and was the most interested in learning there. University was nothing like that. Everything was vague and the lecturers said I had to figure it out. I felt stupid and stressed and stayed home playing video games lol.

Finding out I had ADD puts a lot of things into perspective, like how I am unable to read and absorb information despite how many times I read over something, the fact that I can't do basic math, read analog clocks, have no concept of passing time, and how my attention span is either 200% or -200. I've also realised how much I only pretend to listen to people, yikes. Only thing is, now I'm not sure what to do with the information? It doesn't make me feel better.

Before I thought I was apathetic because life was purposeless, like a nihilist waiting for an apocalypse, but now I realise my state of mind is because everything I have tried to pursue has left me humiliated by failure and reluctant to try again. Then there's the many random and short-lived jobs I've had (the longest I've worked for was 9 months @ average 12 hours a week; the shortest 2 days). I keep moving cities so that I don't have to see people be confused (and their egos boosted) by the fact that I didn't succeed when I seemed smart and driven.

The psychiatrist has put on Dexamphetamine, 20mg a day. My friend says I'm less "aggressive" and "animated" when I talk about my interests now (games), but I can't tell and don't care. I feel the same, only worse now due to finding out I have ADD. Has anybody else experienced feeling like this? Some wisdom would be really great. My mood is death itself. I genuinely have no ambition, goals, or interests that I can base my work/study around. It's going to be a few weeks before I get a new support worker since I just moved again lol.

TL;DR Hi.
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Old 02-12-17, 09:19 PM
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Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

A lot of people go through the stages of grief when they are finally diagnosed:
denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Give yourself some time.

I was 53 when I self-diagnosed after being told by a friend that we should get
my granddaughter assessed for adhd. I'd always known there was a problem,
but like many I thought only hyperactive boys have adhd. For me, knowing
there was an answer was a relief.
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Old 02-13-17, 01:51 AM
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Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

Hello and welcome Glad you found us and I'm also glad you finally got diagnosed
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Old 02-13-17, 09:27 AM
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Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

Yeah, 23 is obviously later than getting diagnosed in your teens but you've still got your whole life ahead of you. The psychiatrist who put you on meds, are they also seeing you for therapy? If not I would really recommend it: I agree that knowing you have the condition is just the first step on a potentially long road to figuring out who you really are and how to work with the ADHD. ADHD is kind of a weird condition in that if you're also smart and you underachieve (which, of course you're going to underachieve; it's essentially a learning disorder after all) people call you lazy and you will almost inevitably start to internalize that.

I would also tell your psychiatrist what the meds do and how they make you feel. While I do think they're more subtle than people make them out to be, I don't necessarily think they're supposed to be so subtle that you don't notice any changes. Maybe your dosage is too low or maybe you need to try something entirely different.

Finally, I have to recommend this book:

http://www.audible.com/pd/Science-Te...LFkxoCnoPw_wcB
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Old 02-13-17, 02:16 PM
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Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

There are always other meds and dosages to try.
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Old 02-13-17, 04:53 PM
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Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

23 is too late for whatever school you've already had, but not too late for a billion other things. The past may be bad, but the one thing we can say for sure about the past is, it's done. The present is ready to turn out better.
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Old 03-20-17, 04:14 PM
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Smile Re: 23... Diagnosed Too Late

I am new here,. I hope this doesn't come across as advice from a grumpy old man..

Dear Diagnosed too late. AKA CranialSlurpee,

Hi. I do hope I can someday mentor a person who struggles as you do, but i have to many of my own problems just now.
I have been "looking for answers" for so many years and never found any I liked,.. Plenty there I didn't like.

as for too late?
Really?
I hit fifty some years back and have screwed up more years then you have been out of diapers.. so to late seems a bit like you need to pull your britches up and decide to live a bit first to me. (grumpy old man part)

With that said, I can understand and relate.. I found out some thirty plus years back death is not a mood, and should NOT be searched for.b

Quote:
Originally Posted by CranialSlurpee
My mood is death itself. I genuinely have no ambition, goals, or interests that I can base my work/study around.
I still have no ambition, no real goals or any idea what I want to be when I grow up.. I have made some huge mistakes, really huge ones.. I have so many unfinished projects I could live to several hundred and not get my "to do list" done. I can't even get my list done.

Maybe that should be my goal to finish one project and be happy with it.. I might even settle for finish one project..

As for interests, they come and go.. in fact they go really fast... so instead of stopping before you start,.. just dive in, it will work for awhile.. then once the attention is lost, just let it go and find another.. there are so many more interests and you can at least look back and see how much you tried..

I love my life.. My family deals with me and my constant changing of my plans.. My wife of 29 wonderful years (we have been married for well past 30 but I do think at least 29 were wonderful! )

Today I was supposed to get a wheel on my latest car project unstuck, the sun is shining and I feel great.. instead I joined this forum.. I was trying to figure out if I should take an aspirin for a headache as I just restarted on Adderall. Tonight I will likely be a bit frustrated at not getting anything done.. But I am really focused now on at least typing out this response..

Oh by the way,.. the registration is difficult, took me a dozen tries as I tried to fix the mistakes and missed the other now blank boxes.. was it a test to see if I was ADD?

So for Diagnosed to late,.. be glad you have a diagnosis,.. if it loses interested I can loan you a few dozen of mine.. Hope they can help you. (another grumpy man comment)

Love life and try not to forget the seat belts..


Are there supposed to be two oo's in Too before a descriptive verb? or just one? ( I just never could figure that one out.)

List of things I tried,.. well part of a list, the real list would be waaaaayyyy toooo loonnggg.

Traveled the world
, made it to some, have at least a hundred countries and a couple continents to go to.

Careers, tried at least four major ones. retired from one
There are jobs for us.. lots of jobs..
I was very well liked in some. I received a stack, and I mean a large stack of accommodations in the military, before being forced to retire early. Having undiagnosed ADD enabled me to always be seeking something else and that was well rewarded, and my troops had plenty of work finishing my projects..

School, dropped out of high school several times, before finally realizing I had more to see. I did go back after traveling for a while and "earned" a diploma before my son was born.

several marriages before finding someone who loved me and still loves me for who I am. She does seem to yell alot though She cries and is disappointed to, but she does really love me, and not who some want me to be.

Joined Military, and transferred alot.. new job, new interests, There was plenty of, oh look I can see a shiny new job over there! Did I say they loved me? YES and they accommodated my wanting new challenges and my troops worked hard to get those challenges finished. Thankfully I had plenty of men and woman to finish them..

College. did that, made presidents or dean list every year.. BUT, I still need one law class and one physics class to finish.. It wasn't interesting any longer, still isn't. Funny thing happened, my doc took me off adderall as I was doing so well ..

Why does Adderall come up as a spelling mistake in an ADD forum?

As for failure: Most my worst times were followed by my best times..


so If I could offer a small bit of advice. Keep looking and living, death is so long and uninteresting. Think about that for a few minutes when you are day dreaming. ( I would love to talk about that with you more. )

You said you move cities often.. WOW, most wish they could do that, just drop everything, throw your cares to the wind and move..

You are smart,.. most who have ADD are by what I have seen, and driven, it is just we like short trips.. So don't worry about getting side tracked.. set goals and then reset those goals often.

I have dealt with depression, PTSD, been strapped to a bed, locked in a ward, gee that is such a long list, lets just say, I was miss-diagnosed and felt all was lost plenty of times. but then I saw another piece of candy and moved on.. (( I will be forever followed by the stigma of the misdiagnosis but that is a whole nother rant.))

I hope that helps you as it helped me as I wrote it.. time to wrap this up.

another old as dirt newbie to another diagnosis. Thanks for your time to rant and I do hope you find some answers you like, but most of mine were ones I didn't like, just learned to deal with.
Low budget

BTW, meds do not give me any ambition. They do help me go to the store and not buy a cart-full of stuff i didn't need instead of just the milk I went after. My wife said i didn't need them but i must have thought i did as i bought them.
I can't understand why for the life of me why someone would take these as a choice. I feel way to calm if I take to many.

I do like the forum smileys, they are so neat

is there one for dripping sarcasm? I like sarcasm alot but it never comes across well without the facial and body expressions. some folk actually think you mean what you write.
I did mean most of what I wrote. I kept my sarcasm for a later post in hopes of not sounding like a grumpy old man.. ( I am old but not the least bit grumpy.. except when I am actually grumpy.

oh another question Uni,.. are you a Brit?
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