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Old 03-16-17, 12:56 PM
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Productivity and Emotional State

What are some of your strategies for managing distraction and productivity when you're also upset about something?

If my mood and emotional state is neutral most of my usual strategies work but if I'm upset, mad, sad, excited, or anything else I'm almost incapable of being productive. Example, last night my therapist ticked me off and I'm still mad about it today. Its now almost 10am and all I accomplished today was eating, getting dressed, and walking down to the shop. Normally if I have a billable job I've got a solid 2-3 hours of billable labor by this time of day. If it wasn't a work day I'd be missing out on projects I need to finish around the house.

I get up and start to work, get frustrated because the job I'm working on requires concentration, then mess around on the internet for a hour before trying again. I can't stop dwelling on how mad I am and I do this all the time.

What strategies do you have for getting past emotions so you can be productive?
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Old 03-16-17, 01:06 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

I cry, walk around in circles, snort and stomp, get in a time warp over brushing my teeth, and do nothing aimlessly.

Quit letting a therapist get to you!

Sounds easy but is/was it worth it?
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Old 03-16-17, 01:13 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

I'm furious about many things at the moment. It zaps all of my time and energy. I live a life led by emotion. Nothing else exists outside my little emotional bubble.
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Old 03-16-17, 01:27 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Originally Posted by Little Missy View Post
I cry, walk around in circles, snort and stomp, get in a time warp over brushing my teeth, and do nothing aimlessly.

Quit letting a therapist get to you!

Sounds easy but is/was it worth it?
When you say time warp are you talking about when you continue doing something past completion because you're distracted? I do that with washing dishes all the time.

Isn't it her job to get to me in a way? Am I therapying wrong? God I hope so because then I could call her a b**** and walk away without feeling like I'm messing up my chances of getting better. I don't actually think she's a b I just want the satisfaction of calling her that.
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Old 03-16-17, 01:28 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I'm furious about many things at the moment. It zaps all of my time and energy. I live a life led by emotion. Nothing else exists outside my little emotional bubble.
So true. Interestingly enough even though I have intense emotions on the inside which run my life at times most people only see two emotions on the outside, anger and happy.
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Old 03-16-17, 01:49 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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So true. Interestingly enough even though I have intense emotions on the inside which run my life at times most people only see two emotions on the outside, anger and happy.
Well at least you have the addition of happy.
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Old 03-16-17, 02:13 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Well at least you have the addition of happy.
Well how else am I supposed to convince people I'm as fun and cool as I think I am?
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Old 03-16-17, 03:10 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Originally Posted by fisherfisher View Post
When you say time warp are you talking about when you continue doing something past completion because you're distracted? I do that with washing dishes all the time.

Isn't it her job to get to me in a way? Am I therapying wrong? God I hope so because then I could call her a b**** and walk away without feeling like I'm messing up my chances of getting better. I don't actually think she's a b I just want the satisfaction of calling her that.
Yes, distracted time warps over anything, I just threw in brushing my teeth as an example.

I am not a therapy advocate. Period. But there are many people on here that do very well with it so don't make any decisions because of me.
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Old 03-16-17, 03:37 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

I get much more thrown off course by emotions than the average person. It also takes me longer to return to my usual function. My main strategies are ( a ) to restructure my entire life in order to make this OK, and ( b ) if necessary, to run away and hide until I feel better.

That last one may sound ridiculous or unworkable, but in fact it's what I do.
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Old 03-16-17, 03:50 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Originally Posted by dvdnvwls View Post
I get much more thrown off course by emotions than the average person. It also takes me longer to return to my usual function. My main strategies are ( a ) to restructure my entire life in order to make this OK, and ( b ) if necessary, to run away and hide until I feel better.

That last one may sound ridiculous or unworkable, but in fact it's what I do.
Yes! I forgot the runaway and hide part.
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Old 03-16-17, 04:52 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

Yes I'm a runner too. Except you can't always run and at some point the running starts to damage your life and relationships. Therapy is helping overall I just want to call her some creatively mean names right now. Probably because she said something which I know is true but don't want to deal with. Therapists
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Old 03-16-17, 06:39 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

Sometimes therapists who aren't completely familiar with ADHD can give bad advice.
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Old 03-16-17, 08:44 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

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Originally Posted by fisherfisher View Post
What are some of your strategies for managing distraction and productivity when you're also upset about something?

If my mood and emotional state is neutral most of my usual strategies work but if I'm upset, mad, sad, excited, or anything else I'm almost incapable of being productive. Example, last night my therapist ticked me off and I'm still mad about it today. Its now almost 10am and all I accomplished today was eating, getting dressed, and walking down to the shop. Normally if I have a billable job I've got a solid 2-3 hours of billable labor by this time of day. If it wasn't a work day I'd be missing out on projects I need to finish around the house.

I get up and start to work, get frustrated because the job I'm working on requires concentration, then mess around on the internet for a hour before trying again. I can't stop dwelling on how mad I am and I do this all the time.

What strategies do you have for getting past emotions so you can be productive?
Understanding the emotional states really helps.

There are only 7 primary emotional states

(Emotional states are never neutral. At least one emotional state is always being stimulated)

If I am emotionally distressed (Stimulated bad feelings originating from either one or combination of the RAGE, FEAR, GRIEF emotional states) I find it really hard to concentrate, and much less productive.

When I am not emotionally distressed (Stimulated good feelings originating from either one or combination of the SEEKING, CARE, PLAY emotional states) I can concentrate easier and am much more productive.

When I feel bad it can seem impossible to feel good.

Until I solve the problem.

Emotional states all evolved through movements.

I find walking really helps.









m
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Old 03-16-17, 08:56 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

Wow, great question.

You know, if I'm upset with something the therapist said, I will schedule another meeting (as in a second session in the same week). I do this if the therapist himself made me upset. I also do this if an issue came up in session that really triggered me.

When I know I need to deal with the issue myself, then writing in my journal and doing some cognitive therapy self-talk can help. The problem is that it really takes energy to do the journaling to pick apart what I'm feeling, what I'm assuming, what I'm so upset about. The real trick of CBT, in my view, is that I cannot b.s. my way out of a deep troubling emotion. Positive thinking won't shift me out of the troubled state.

It's more like being my own high-powered defense attorney, who takes every self-accusation or every thought that I'm catastrophically injured or that my life is horrible ... and then chips away at that thought--just as a defense attorney would cross-examine a witness.

If I stay with this process, there usually comes a moment when I feel a pop! An emotional shift, like a bolt of electricity. That means my new thinking is rigorous enough and emotionally soothing enough to quiet that original troubling thinking.

A few months ago, I had to do this process after a woman I really liked rejected me and told me of some negative feelings that she hadn't shared with me before. I felt like she had been misleading me for going on a year.

Took a couple of hours of journaling and thinking to pop out of that upset.

But don't get me wrong: sometimes I simply stew in my feelings or get lost in a true-crime show.

Tone
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Old 03-16-17, 09:15 PM
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Re: Productivity and Emotional State

I think there are a lot of benefits and some strong reasoning behind retreating when overwhelmed.

I don't think it's a relationship problem at all, in itself.

The problems for employment and for relationships are IMO things that can happen at the same time, but they don't need to happen.

- forgetting to come back (may sound stupid but I've certainly done it)

- miscommunication about the nature of the retreating behaviour

- others misunderstanding the purpose of retreating

- denial and/or hostility from others (which also has led to my becoming reluctant to return to the person in question)

- developing feelings of guilt or shame (whether brought on by self or others) over needing to do this

- developing bad "add-on habits" - retreating and then also doing something unhealthy or unhelpful

... There are probably more.

At some level, this issue can sometimes be nothing more than claiming permission to be an introvert, though there's often more to it than that. Wanting to deny someone this option is (to me anyway) certainly misguided and often cruel.

Having both a spouse and a boss who take my occasional need to retreat as just part of who I am, and who recognize that I need this, it's good for me, good for our relationship, and that I'm coming back, has made a world of difference in my life.
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