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  #31  
Old 06-07-18, 11:13 AM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Well ok, if you are ok with that then who cares what others think?

I don't know if i'm ok with it. I just don't see any other options with the exception of the absolute feeling of loneliness.


Either I dance with the devil, or I get dumped in limbo.
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  #32  
Old 06-07-18, 03:33 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I don't know if i'm ok with it. I just don't see any other options with the exception of the absolute feeling of loneliness.


Either I dance with the devil, or I get dumped in limbo.
Strong stuff. I really know exactly how you feel

I mix it up Booze. Pot. Cigarettes. Over do it all. Somehow maintain though. Just make sure you maintain

The perfect med combo and days I won’t drink. I just won’t reach for it

But I also can’t name exactly what I medicate with it. The restless nature of my adhd maybe
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  #33  
Old 06-07-18, 06:17 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

I used to go through about a 750 ml a night at one point. Every night. Mixed with medications it should never have been mixed with. They are legal but very very dangerous.

All I was trying to do was make my brain shut up. Anything to make it shut up. If I didn't drink I'd be up for days at a time. Intrusive thought after devastating intrusive thought for hours on end. I was more than willing to die to shut it up.

I agree with what others have said that on the correct medications you don't even feel the need. I only drink socially now (despite prescription pill bottle warnings). I don't lock myself in rooms. I don't spend most of my evenings crying. I don't spend hours and hours rocking back and fort. I don't pass out on kitchen floors. I don't get blood all over the walls. I don't hallucinate.

I still have plenty of issues but my coping mechanisms work well enough and if I need a medication change my psychiatrist is willing to work with me.

You need therapy and you need medication. And sitting around drinking and complaining to a forum furthers neither of those things getting done. You have not yet developed coping mechanisms to the level that you can control your issues. Therefore you need someone to help you get it under control.
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  #34  
Old 06-07-18, 06:24 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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I used to go through about a 750 ml a night at one point. Every night. Mixed with medications it should never have been mixed with. They are legal but very very dangerous.

All I was trying to do was make my brain shut up. Anything to make it shut up. If I didn't drink I'd be up for days at a time. Intrusive thought after devastating intrusive thought for hours on end. I was more than willing to die to shut it up.

I agree with what others have said that on the correct medications you don't even feel the need. I only drink socially now (despite prescription pill bottle warnings). I don't lock myself in rooms. I don't spend most of my evenings crying. I don't spend hours and hours rocking back and fort. I don't pass out on kitchen floors. I don't get blood all over the walls. I don't hallucinate.

I still have plenty of issues but my coping mechanisms work well enough and if I need a medication change my psychiatrist is willing to work with me.

You need therapy and you need medication. And sitting around drinking and complaining to a forum furthers neither of those things getting done. You have not yet developed coping mechanisms to the level that you can control your issues. Therefore you need someone to help you get it under control.

I agree, but nobody is interested in helping me. Doctors just want to direct me to groups where i'll be surrounded by people who are nothing like me at all. Totally useless.
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  #35  
Old 06-07-18, 06:49 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I agree, but nobody is interested in helping me. Doctors just want to direct me to groups where i'll be surrounded by people who are nothing like me at all. Totally useless.
I definitely know the feeling. It was part of why I prolonged getting help for so long. When I was locked up I had to do group therapy. Oh. My. God. It was horrible. I had nothing in common with these people. In fact, I hated these people just because of the stupid **** that came out of their mouths. Well, I have nothing in common with MOST people but still.

I wouldn't completely write it off though. First, make sure you see a psychiatrist not a psychologist. Those are the useless talky ones. (to me, anyway) Have what you want them to know about you written out in advance. Have an idea of where you want to go. Be very involved in your treatment. At this point if I know what to do I just tell her what needs to be done and if not i'll ask her opinion and she will give me several options.

My psychiatrist has never forced me into individual or group therapy. She did ask if I was a couple of times for records I believe. I changed my Adderall dosage and just called her and told her and she wrote me a script for the new dosage. I've been with her for 6 years now so if I tell her something is wrong, she knows that something IS wrong.

You'd probably be better with a CBT workbook than a therapist at least at first. Although I think you seem to be a very stubborn person. But you can always give it a go. Just suspend expectations and do the exercises.

Find a nice psychiatrist and get appropriate meds, and after some shuffling around of meds you should be well on your way. You just need the right doctor.
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  #36  
Old 06-07-18, 06:50 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

Oh as a side note I have had I believe 4 different psychiatrists.
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  #37  
Old 06-07-18, 08:52 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I agree, but nobody is interested in helping me. Doctors just want to direct me to groups where i'll be surrounded by people who are nothing like me at all. Totally useless.
Maybe it’s different in Europe

But in the USA a majority of alcoholics have adhd and social difficulties that may put them on the spectrum

Have you been to one? If not maybe try one and see people may be like you
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  #38  
Old 06-07-18, 11:17 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

I'd have to agree with Daveddd about the way you seem to be rationalizing your actions. I also believe you 100% know deep down what you're doing is a bad idea and you're hoping someone here will agree with or condone the way you've rationalized these thoughts.

I don't mean to be blunt but my focalin has long wore off for the night and I usually loose my filter lol!

But seriously, I've never personally had alcoholism problems although I drank my weight in it when I was younger and in college. That being said, I did have to deal with it growing up watching my father fight it and I know how hard it can be. I've seen him be sober for over ten years and all of a sudden out of the blue end up in jail with a DUI.

I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for, but I can promise it ain't in the bottom of that bottle.
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  #39  
Old 06-07-18, 11:49 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I agree, but nobody is interested in helping me. Doctors just want to direct me to groups where i'll be surrounded by people who are nothing like me at all. Totally useless.
people with mental illness are more alike than not. i don't know how you see yourself in that respect, but i've been IP dozens of times, sometimes for months, and it's a lot of group ****. so is IOP, PHP, a lot of mental health is group crap.

some groups suck and some facilitators suck, but you can end up finding good people in mental health circles who may be more like you than not.

i realise my situation is not your situation, but i'm supposed to go to groups three times a week and i blow it off a LOT. but not because it's not useful. it's hard to confront these things in ourselves. it's hard to see where we might have more in common than less. but it could be helpful, ultimately.

sorry, all of the thoughts just suddenly dropped out of my head. but i think you should give it a try as others have suggested. xx
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  #40  
Old 06-11-18, 05:31 AM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

Other than drinking, etc..to pass the time.

Yesterday I was wondering if I should try and get together with other people who have AD(H)D, in real life, with no strings attached.

A get together with no real concrete agenda, no single organization or professional involved, other than to simply to discuss about what ever we feel like at that time.







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Old 06-11-18, 09:39 AM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

Like I said before... the easiest way to see if you have an alcohol problem is to try controlled drinking and not drinking and see how you handle it. It doesnt matter if you know you will be bored or in pain or lonely. What matters is if you are setting yourself up to be a slave to alcohol for the rest of your life.
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Old 06-11-18, 11:28 AM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
Thanks, that's some really sound advice. However, i've never felt comfortable in my own skin. I wish I could rip my face off and get a new one. I also don't have any interests to return to. Nothing seems to hold my interest, except when i'm drunk. Drink makes me feel emotionally involved, which is the only way I can stay connected with whatever i'm trying to do.
Those words could have come straight out of my own mouth.

I have only recently (I just made a new post telling my story, waiting for it to be mod approved) discovered that my addiction to alcohol was potentially due to my untreated Adhd.

The road you are going down is painfully hard to come back from when you go too far down it.
Also if you do manage to come back from it, it is always there. For life. You have to fight everyday to not drink. It sucks.

If you can pull out now, I highly recommend it.
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  #43  
Old 06-12-18, 06:40 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

I wonder how much our lack of perception of time is involved?

(I wonder if more awareness/understanding/reasons for our lack of perception of time would also help?)






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Old 06-19-18, 11:59 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

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Originally Posted by Fraser_0762 View Post
I've tried treating this already. Either with Benzo's which just leave me feeling nothing at all, or Beta Blockers which make me highly aggressive. Having sessions doesn't help either, because I can never think what to say. So they don't go anywhere.
How high was your benzo dose? My mom suffered the same leave no feeling at all problem you had. Actually, I know about 5 people who had. Mom lowered the dosage. Problem solved.

Maybe a benzo combined with an adhd med.

I think LyrinMeow might possibly be right. Maybe you haven't found the right medication mix and should try looking again.

What interests/hobbies have you tried? I'm wondering how high stimulus they were. I wonder if we need more stimulus than most and higher stimulus interests can have a stronger impact on you.
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Old 08-09-18, 12:49 PM
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Re: Drinking to pass the time

I live in vodka country, and I would be hard pressed to come up with a list of people who don't drink and/or don't live with someone who does (or did). There are sometimes beautiful landscapes, melodies than you can almost hear, and ocassionally a deep sense of connection. But it's only sometimes, and then when you start spending time there yourself, or others, the colors start to fade and you can't make out the melodies, and even people with whom there are real connections, you cannot recognize them. Was it Homer who wrote about the Syrens that call and deceive? Really it is nothingness, emptiness, purposelessness that beckons. The belief come religion that if you can't do anything, at least you can destroy everything. I think for me, the ADD mind is so fraught with disruptive energies (emotions) that it is both very difficult to like (or accept) and simultaneously to manage them, so why not turn them off? And then, that illusion of being home. I have ventured into the vodka countryside on occassion, but I never felt good there. Of course, I still have this fantasy that if I could just turn off the energy control system, or slow it down, then I could get back to doing what I am supposed to.
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