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View Poll Results: Do you struggle with the same thing?
Yes, I'm ADHD-PI 5 83.33%
No, I'm ADHD-PI 0 0%
Yes, I'm not ADHD-PI 1 16.67%
No, I'm not ADHD-PI 0 0%
Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 05-27-18, 11:08 AM
Avaliv Avaliv is offline
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ADHD-PI and Anger

Hi!

I find many articles online about ADHD and anger. However, I rarely identify with them. Maybe that is because they're more about ADHD -C and -H but I'm not sure. For many, the problem seems to be emotional impulsivity. I'm sometimes impulsive too, but not particularly. For me the problem is not being able to let go of my emotions, especially anger. In an argument my reaction is quite normal, compared to the neurotypical people around me. However my anger and sadness over a small argument can last for many hours straight and it seems there is no way for me to let go. This kind of paralyzes me and I find it extremely frustrating. Does anyone here have the same problem? What have you found helpful? Is it a ADHD-PI -thing?

Thank you in advance for all the answers!
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Old 05-27-18, 05:08 PM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

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However my anger and sadness over a small argument can last for many hours straight and it seems there is no way for me to let go.
Could you give examples ?

I think most ppl tend to feel bad after an argument, unless they are psychopaths or know the argument has no real consequences (like at work or in an abusive relationship).

Why is the poll publicly visible ? What's the point ?
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  #3  
Old 05-28-18, 09:46 AM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

For example, if I had a brief argument with someone, about a really small thing. The other person would forget about it in a few minutes but I might feel a strong sense of injustice for hours after if we didn't talk it over thoroughly. Sometimes even then. I know that there is no point in being angry for so long, over something so small, but I can't manage my emotions. That doesn't mean that I act on my feelings. It just really disturbs my day.

I didn't really think about the poll.. I guess I wanted transparency or something? But you don't have to vote if you feel uncomfortable.
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Old 05-28-18, 11:06 AM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avaliv View Post
Hi!

I find many articles online about ADHD and anger. However, I rarely identify with them. Maybe that is because they're more about ADHD -C and -H but I'm not sure. For many, the problem seems to be emotional impulsivity. I'm sometimes impulsive too, but not particularly. For me the problem is not being able to let go of my emotions, especially anger. In an argument my reaction is quite normal, compared to the neurotypical people around me. However my anger and sadness over a small argument can last for many hours straight and it seems there is no way for me to let go. This kind of paralyzes me and I find it extremely frustrating. Does anyone here have the same problem? What have you found helpful? Is it a ADHD-PI -thing?

Thank you in advance for all the answers!
Many things can affect your anger level though. If you live in a small town for example then you might never get "road rage" and be angry at other drivers because you don't have lots of traffic. So to me your environment plays a large factor in your peace of mind. For me anger builds up through the day, work issues make me mad. The drive home annoys me. I have an errand to run after work and must impatiently wait in line. I too can't let anything go, if you make me mad i'll remember forever. For me it's just an ADHD thing, something i deal with. Lately i just think it through. Was it really a big deal? Am i overreacting to it? I have told all my close friends (short list, ADHD kills my friendships) that i have ADHD. So i think now things are more out in the open so to speak. So if something bothers me i can just tell them and talk about it.
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  #5  
Old 05-28-18, 11:29 AM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

Quote:
Originally Posted by Avaliv View Post
For example, if I had a brief argument with someone, about a really small thing. The other person would forget about it in a few minutes but I might feel a strong sense of injustice for hours after if we didn't talk it over thoroughly. Sometimes even then. I know that there is no point in being angry for so long, over something so small, but I can't manage my emotions. That doesn't mean that I act on my feelings. It just really disturbs my day.
Welcome to the forum!

I can so relate to this!

I can spend hours, days or weeks ruminating over a minor or major argument or even a disagreement. I usually beat myself up thinking of all the points and facts I wish, I had mentioned or brought up during the conflict.

Arguments, fights and heated discussions/disagreements tend to replay over and over in my mind. They bother me more and I hold onto them much much longer than most people.
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  #6  
Old 05-28-18, 12:47 PM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

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Originally Posted by Greyhound1 View Post
I usually beat myself up thinking of all the points and facts I wish, I had mentioned or brought up during the conflict.
Every.Single.Time. I feel like I make myself sound stupid by not being able to express myself well. And then I go through all the things I should have said for days afterwords.
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Old 05-28-18, 05:13 PM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

So I could vote yes, but then I'd be thinking about whether that was really the best choice for days...

I am really not sure If this is so specific of me vs NTs.

Sometimes I catch ppl who otherwise seem super NT on stupid indecisiveness and replaying petty little arguments.

Sometimes I am seen as the one who overlooks "important" arguments (that is I give no %&^*).

So I prefer to think it's not a defining characteristic of ADHD, it's rather a consequence of contextual misfit.
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Old 05-29-18, 12:09 PM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

Anger and impulsive behavior are both common in adhd

But if you have anger and impulsive issues you likely qualify as combined type
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Old 05-29-18, 12:10 PM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

The letting go is referred too as “slow return to baseline” when referring to emotional regulation issues of adhd.
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Old 05-31-18, 12:18 AM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

Like Daveddd said above, impulsivity, anger and preoccupation with the anger reminds me more of combined.
I used to hold onto anger like that. I used to carry resentments. Since I got sober and shed all that nonsense I learned that I was hurting myself the most by holding onto that stuff. The person who hurt me didnt suffer- I did. My bank has a finite amount of time and energy in it and I choose to spend it wisely.
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Old 05-31-18, 09:41 AM
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Re: ADHD-PI and Anger

Moi, angry ?

I vehemently deny all those old "stories" of yours truly (allegedly) bumping

people with my shoulders (or shopping carts) in Target, as "fake news."

Just because my "mantra" growing up was "Wasn't Me," doesn't mean I

was guilty


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