ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > ADULTS AND ADD/ADHD > Adults with ADD > General ADD Talk
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-12-18, 04:06 PM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 9,197
Thanks: 27,039
Thanked 13,711 Times in 6,797 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Do you ever feel like people dismiss your struggles and your need for help because you seem so normal?
It's like the outside world sees the good side of you, and you seem SO capable and SO enthusiastic for life. So they view you as a normal, healthy person more than capable of doing what needs doing without any assistance.
They don't see the side of you that struggles. And even after explaining to them your difficulties, they still seem to dismiss you because they just don't see the other side of things.

I'm going through this right now with some professionals I'm working with...and I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences anything like this.

__________________


((((((((((((((MOM))))))))))))))
I'll always fondly remember.

Reply With Quote
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
allesandro1 (04-16-18), DeClutter (04-16-18), Fuzzy12 (04-12-18), Greyhound1 (04-12-18), Kaia.S (04-13-18), kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-12-18), madmax988 (04-16-18), namazu (04-12-18), PoppnNSailinMan (04-13-18), stef (04-12-18), ToneTone (04-13-18)
  #2  
Old 04-12-18, 04:30 PM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
Zen moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,182
Thanks: 36,301
Thanked 26,729 Times in 12,986 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

YES, every single day.
And there are a couple of things I can do very well at work so people just think i'm a little spacey or whatever but no, I can't process Voices Giving Instructions and sometimes I can't even see right in front of me, the static in my head is so bad.
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
DeClutter (04-16-18), Kaia.S (04-13-18), kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-12-18), PoppnNSailinMan (04-13-18), psychopathetic (04-12-18)
  #3  
Old 04-12-18, 04:58 PM
midnightstar's Avatar
midnightstar midnightstar is offline
Purriendly feline moderator
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 18,066
Blog Entries: 10
Thanks: 16,989
Thanked 21,435 Times in 12,633 Posts
midnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond reputemidnightstar has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

yes and nobody sees my struggles because nobody wants to see.
__________________
Beauty (12th August 2007 - 3rd November 2008 )
Dylan (4th November 2008 - 23rd March 2012)
Tom (29th August 2014 - 17th October 2014)
Ebony (1st January 2014 - 2nd March 2018)
Tigger (31st October 2014 - current)
"No human should ever hurt an animal" Jessie, Animal Farm

Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to midnightstar For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-12-18), madmax988 (04-16-18), psychopathetic (04-12-18), stef (04-12-18)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 04-12-18, 06:36 PM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 18,605
Thanks: 19,136
Thanked 25,007 Times in 11,616 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

When we try to explain, others say "But I do that too."

They can't seem to understand the difference between locking your keys in the
car once a year and locking the keys in the car once a month along with your
cell phone and purse/wallet.

The more I've had to rely on walking with canes, using a walker, and using an
electric cart for shopping, the more I see people being kind, rushing to help me.
But the adhd / autism / bipolar / etc. is invisible and no one thinks about what
they can do to help us.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
DeClutter (04-16-18), kwalk (04-15-18), psychopathetic (04-12-18), stef (04-12-18)
  #5  
Old 04-12-18, 07:54 PM
Greyhound1's Avatar
Greyhound1 Greyhound1 is offline
Mind Racing Moderator
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: S. Florida
Posts: 8,180
Thanks: 10,736
Thanked 13,930 Times in 6,681 Posts
Greyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond reputeGreyhound1 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

I don’t feel recognition or dismissed. Almost everyone, I meet and work with have their own problems or issues and could care less about mine. I don’t share my struggles with them because most really don’t want to hear it.

I work extra hard to hide my struggles with ADHD at work. In the past it has only gotten me judged and questioned by owner of the company.

He asked me how it was going to effect my performance at work when he heard I had been diagnosed. I happily told him, I was born with it, had it when he hired me and the whole time I’ve worked there. My performance had never been questioned before and I have an outstanding track record. Treatment has only made it better.

The good thing is what I lack in ability, I usually make up for with tenacity at work. I use many props to help me seem normal, proficient and super conscientious. Some are good things like notes everywhere, cheat sheets etc. and some are bad like obsessive thoughts and overly concerned.

I just try my best to fake it and make it though each day.

Last edited by Greyhound1; 04-15-18 at 04:56 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Greyhound1 For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), Little Missy (04-12-18), PoppnNSailinMan (04-13-18), psychopathetic (04-12-18), stef (04-12-18)
  #6  
Old 04-12-18, 09:59 PM
finallyfound10's Avatar
finallyfound10 finallyfound10 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,598
Thanks: 1,425
Thanked 1,484 Times in 813 Posts
finallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond reputefinallyfound10 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

No, but that is only because nobody knows. Those of you that let people know are far emotionally healthier than I am.
__________________
ADHD-Inattentive, Adjustment Disorder w/Mixed Features of Anxiety and Depression, Dyscalculia (Math disability), Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Adult Child of an Alcoholic.
Strattera 100 mg, Wellbutrin 450 mg XL, Klonopin 0.5 mg as needed.
Brene Brown
Shame derives it's power from being unspeakable.
Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.
Shame cannot survive being spoken. It can't survive empathy.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to finallyfound10 For This Useful Post:
psychopathetic (04-12-18), stef (04-12-18)
  #7  
Old 04-12-18, 10:27 PM
Lunacie's Avatar
Lunacie Lunacie is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: south-central Kansas
Posts: 18,605
Thanks: 19,136
Thanked 25,007 Times in 11,616 Posts
Lunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond reputeLunacie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by finallyfound10 View Post
No, but that is only because nobody knows. Those of you that let people know are far emotionally healthier than I am.
Long before I had a diagnosis, long before I even had an idea what the problem is,
I knew there was a problem. But others said I was being whiny, being a baby,
trying to manipulate them.

I tried to explain the struggle, to get someone to see it was real. But without
the diagnosis I was faking or lazy. Or manipulative. The struggle was dismissed.
__________________
ADD is not a problem of knowing what to do; it is a problem of doing what you know.
-RUSSELL A. BARKLEY, PH.D.


As far as I know, there is nothing positive about ADHD that people can't have w out ADHD. ~ ADD me
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lunacie For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), psychopathetic (04-12-18), stef (04-12-18)
  #8  
Old 04-13-18, 12:28 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
Zen moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,182
Thanks: 36,301
Thanked 26,729 Times in 12,986 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

OMG yes, the "I do that too"... and I of course will only tell people I like and trust ( Ive told a few colleagues), and naturally they are kind and interested, but their reaction is usually the rather puzzled, "everyone does that".

It really is very difficult to explain. the next one i'm going to try is: "you know that feeling you get when you walk into a room and forgot what you went there to get? That is the permanent state of my mind because my brain does not process information correctly".
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
Lunacie (04-13-18), psychopathetic (04-13-18)
  #9  
Old 04-13-18, 12:50 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 9,197
Thanks: 27,039
Thanked 13,711 Times in 6,797 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stef View Post
I of course will only tell people I like and trust ( Ive told a few colleagues)
Yeah, I've become more and more guarded on who I tell anymore. The professionals I'm working with that I mentioned above...are mental health professionals (case managers and therapist).

Quote:
their reaction is usually the rather puzzled, "everyone does that"
Yeah, this is another thing I've been experiencing.
I had to get a new therapist recently (like 6 months ago)...and I kid you not, right after I explained a few things about me and my adhd to her in our first session...she giggled and said "You know? I think I must have a little bit of ADHD too."

lol
I sure wish I only had a "little bit" of it.


Also I'm in a new therapy group...and I told them about adhd in one of the sessions...but before I began, I made it very clear to them that everyone has these symptoms, but those with adhd have them to such an extreme that they can absolutely be a disability to them, effecting every aspect of their lives over their entire life span. That they don't just have these symptoms once in awhile like everyone else...but they have them frequently, consistently over long stretches of time.
__________________


((((((((((((((MOM))))))))))))))
I'll always fondly remember.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-13-18)
  #10  
Old 04-13-18, 04:36 AM
Kaia.S's Avatar
Kaia.S Kaia.S is online now
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Nederland
Posts: 128
Thanks: 407
Thanked 253 Times in 97 Posts
Kaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to allKaia.S is a name known to all
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

My friends don't take it very serious, because:

- i've been getting by 'just fine' without the diagnose and treatment, so it's more like a 'luxury' to have it
- they keep on asking me: i do this and that, could i also have adhd?
- some even see taking the medication as a weakness: me being dependant on something and i can feel them thinking 'it's not really necessary'. One of my friends is going through a depression, but she doesn't want to seek professional help because 'she doesn't believe in that'. She thinks a relationship would be her solution, i didn't agree and then she compared me taking medication with her need for a man in her life... au that was painful, and also raising doubt in me: could that be true? If so: i 'm having a good relationship with Concerta, he brings out the best of me
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Kaia.S For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-13-18), psychopathetic (04-13-18)
  #11  
Old 04-13-18, 05:21 AM
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Mod-A-holic
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: nj, usa
Posts: 26,474
Thanks: 5,626
Thanked 30,817 Times in 14,114 Posts
sarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond reputesarahsweets has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Not dismissed but downplayed or...invalidated sometimes. I do not talk often with anyone about my issues unless I am very close with them or the subject pops up. I try not to because I do not want to be that person who only talks about whats wrong with them-even though I wouldnt mind some ideas or help from other people.
__________________
President of the No F's given society.

I carried a watermelon?
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sarahsweets For This Useful Post:
Kaia.S (04-13-18), psychopathetic (04-13-18)
  #12  
Old 04-13-18, 05:21 AM
unomie unomie is offline
Jr Member
 

Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: scotland
Posts: 15
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
unomie has a spectacular aura aboutunomie has a spectacular aura about
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

On the contrary, I told one of my pals I was getting diagnosed next week and he said 'it's about ******* time'

...How did everyone see this but me? and why did no one tell me :/ - being nicknamed 'spaceman' for the past 12 years should've been a hint I guess...
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to unomie For This Useful Post:
kwalk (04-15-18), psychopathetic (04-13-18)
  #13  
Old 04-13-18, 06:39 AM
psychopathetic's Avatar
psychopathetic psychopathetic is offline
e-(((hug))) extraordinaire!
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Wyoming, USA
Posts: 9,197
Thanks: 27,039
Thanked 13,711 Times in 6,797 Posts
psychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond reputepsychopathetic has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

For what it's worth Kaja, I think you and Concerta make a lovely couple!



(((Kaja)))
__________________


((((((((((((((MOM))))))))))))))
I'll always fondly remember.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to psychopathetic For This Useful Post:
Kaia.S (04-13-18), Lunacie (04-13-18)
  #14  
Old 04-13-18, 09:31 AM
Little Nut's Avatar
Little Nut Little Nut is offline
ADDvanced Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 1,077
Thanks: 117
Thanked 1,151 Times in 653 Posts
Little Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud ofLittle Nut has much to be proud of
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Hi Psych, I find they do. Most have no perspective for such things. TBH I am "hardwired" to not discuss these type of things except w/ close friends and on an as-needed basis. If I needed to give perspective I would draw talking points from a list of symptoms (for lack of a better word) and examples of real-life impacts. FWIW I think you can see from your post yesterday and the responses that your struggles in this area seem to be pretty common and not fully addressed by all (including me). -LN

Still doing things because you want to do them?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Little Nut For This Useful Post:
psychopathetic (04-13-18)
  #15  
Old 04-14-18, 02:28 AM
PoppnNSailinMan's Avatar
PoppnNSailinMan PoppnNSailinMan is offline
Moderator
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: California
Posts: 457
Thanks: 869
Thanked 669 Times in 311 Posts
PoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to allPoppnNSailinMan is a name known to all
Re: Do you feel dismissed because you can seem so normal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by psychopathetic View Post
Do you ever feel like people dismiss your struggles and your need for help because you seem so normal?
Last year, I had an appointment with a psychiatric nurse practitioner to find out about the possibility of seeing a therapist and after he found out that I had been to college, he told me that I was "too functional" to need to see a therapist.

This was, in my opinion, a ridiculous thing for him to say. Although they might not all want to admit it, almost everyone has some issues that crop up in their life from time to time and could benefit from seeing a therapist. I don't think anyone is "too functional" in this regard.

Then more recently, another professional referred to me as "high-functioning." The first thing that crossed my mind was, if I'm so "high-functioning," why have I struggled so much of my life to do a lot of fairly basic things? And if I'm "high-functioning," would a person who doesn't have ADHD or some other disorder be considered "super-high-functioning"?

I looked this term up and discovered that this is part of the lingo that mental health professionals use, for example, to describe people with Autism, dividing them up into low-, medium- or high-functioning individuals. And even people with depression or Bipolar Disorder or other mental conditions can sometimes be divided into low-functioning and high-functioning individuals.

Compared to someone who has severe ADHD or severe Autism, I agree that I'm probably more functional overall. And on an intellectual level, I might consider myself "high functioning". But when it comes to things like keeping my house clean, making sure I have clean clothes to wear, preparing food for myself and making sure I eat regularly, staying socially connected, making sure my bills get paid, being able to finish things in a timely manner or finish them at all, etc., I'm more towards the "low functioning" end. Most of my life, I've lived with someone, either my parents or a partner, who did a lot of those things for me or reminded me to do them.

So, instead of "high-functioning," maybe "medium-functioning" would have been a more accurate description for me.
__________________
Bart Simpson (to the tune of “I'm Popeye the Sailor Man”): “When I can’t stop my fiddlin’, I just takes me Ritalin, I’m poppin’ and sailin’, man!” (“Brother’s Little Helper,” Season 11, episode 2, aired 10/3/99)
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to PoppnNSailinMan For This Useful Post:
daveddd (04-14-18), DeClutter (04-16-18), kwalk (04-15-18), Lunacie (04-14-18), psychopathetic (04-14-18)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I Feel Normal When I take Adderall... Jm0507 Adderall 7 06-05-16 10:51 AM
Cannot feel stimulants, even at high doses shortbabe123 General Medication Discussion 12 12-06-15 11:03 AM
First time adderall journal throwaway423 Adderall 5 06-18-14 07:08 PM
first day on Adderall, is euphoria normal? David Smith Adderall 19 02-19-14 06:35 PM
Huge dilemma (At least for me) What do I do? (Sorry, it's a long read) Carth Vyvanse 10 05-20-10 01:37 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums