Self confidence

[xav]

Hello,

As i read the answers to my last post ( "i'm afraid" ) i see that someone ask if i was depressed...

Well, i can't say that my post was very joyfull but me depressed... i was suprised

So i read anew my post from the beginning to the end ...signature included..
I'm must admit that i sound pessimist ...

I have some familial problem and in the same time, my career isn't very promising...( i miss a promotion )
So how i'm reacting to this two different difficulties : well i criticised myself GLOBALY...
For my sicked boy i'm very patient, i'm try again and again to speak to him, to understand him....I try to find a psy doc being able to help him and my wife and me to live better together
For my work i stay current about the technology ( in the computer field it's not exactly easy . As i wasn't able to learned enough of the admin and financial field ( i was already a little busy ) i wasn't promoted...

So, as my wife say again and again i tried to do my best but some things are out of my reach ( admin priorities, young boy psychology ...)

Well , yes BUT no, i don't see the situation like that : for me
only the "results" are take into account.
As two "results" are "negative" i feel as if I AM negative.

Intelectually i know it's stupid. Life was not an exam and there is no "results".
More important two bad "result" can't sumarize a life. Every ordinary life is a wealth in itself.

Intelectually my feet...

My mind absolutly don't work like this. It's seems to me that only one difficulty ( even a small one soo a permanent sickness for one of my child...) is enough to invalidate my way of life, my vision of the world (from the day to day detail to the big ideas ).
Emotionnaly i operate as if i have to be absolutly coherent, positive at every moment of my life...
As i realize this, i undertstand that it's absolutly wrong..
Yes but i don't have another way to operate...
Maybe it's because as a teenager i have to understand, non consciously, the non adder way of being, of thinking of loving to be able to build my adult life.
May be like someone speaking in a foreign language, i m afraid that a error show my foreign (aka adder ) origin.

Is there other that react like this to the difficulties that they encounter and that they can't correct ?

[Avistar_sg]

This is an article that I had posted in another forum relating to self-confidence (exact quote). I certainly hope it will help:

"You know what is the problem with you?
I suspect that there really aren't any deficiencies in your brain. You lack the thing which most people in this world lack. From my experience in school since childhood, I can tell that a lot of people are unwilling to believe in their own abilities. They lack confidence in their own abilities and these atychiphobics eventually fail because of the very first reason, hence effectively pulling down their own confidence in success.
The attribute that you lack is this: Self-confidence.
By the way, in order to be good at something, you must first display interest. If you fail to become interested in something, you will never succeed in it. Passion is another emotive need that must be fulfilled in order to excel in a certain field. Metaphorically speaking, interest is the ladder that pulls you out of the abyss of atychiphobia cum nadiir of failure and it is also the ladder which leads you to the zenith. Passion cannot make do without interest. Passion, however, acts as the resource that fuels your drive to ascend even higher into ideality. Interest cum passion are the two most important attributes to doing well in a subject.
A true polymath is never obssessed with just one topic, he wants to know all, and he is interested in all. You will have to expose yourself to more things in this world (by touring a foreign country, reading more books and getting to meet intelligent and creative people) in order to find the interest that you seek.
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Oh by the way, if u wish to think faster and more efficiently, I recommend that you take these supplements: Vitamin C, Fish Liver Oil and Ginko Bilabo. I take these 3 supplements everyday! These supplements can be gotten easily at pharmacies. Also take some Gingseng once in a while (Gingseng is not cheap) and exercise your brain for at least half an hour everyday like how I did. You may also which to purchase BrainQuicken™ if you wish. I suggest that you should also expose yourself to sunlight as it induces a trigger mechanism which creates more melatonin and hence makes you feel more awake. Exercise vigoriously for at least 30 minutes each day to delay the temperature of your circadian rhythm cycle to be more alert and energetic.
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Self-confidence, I admit, is not an easy attribute to build up on. I suggest the following exercise: Imagine that there is a very intelligent person whom you know of appearing right in front of you. Discuss with him on certain intellectual areas such as philosophy or mathematics. Imagine that he runs out of words and ideas almost everytime and now, you attempt to explain to him what these things mean. Let the discussion continue and ensure that you continue to dominate the discussion, while (although selfishly) showering him with your intellectual superiority. Soon, you will find that will gain a lot of self-confidence as you have managed to overwhelm someone who is more intelligent than you are. I have done this since my childhood days to build up my self-confidence. I'm sure it will work well for you too. The more you do it, the more confidence you are in trusting your own abilities. Try it =)
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The traditional view of intelligence is merely a polydimensional ,ergo linear way of defining and looking at what a person is capable of doing in certain areas. Propter hoc, ergo post hoc, it does not provide a hologous view of the intrinsic properties of intelligence as a whole. The human mind is far too uberously complex to be deciphered at current, hence a universal, and absolute way of defining intelligence is impossible right now.

Sypnosis: Just follow the maxim of belief, and you will succeed in anything!