ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community  

Go Back   ADD Forums - Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Support and Information Resources Community > TREATMENT & MANAGEMENT > Meditation and Spirituality
Register Blogs FAQ Chat Members List Calendar Donate Gallery Arcade Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-09-14, 04:10 PM
davesf davesf is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 142
Thanks: 22
Thanked 250 Times in 85 Posts
davesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to all
Can you 'quiet your mind'?

I have achieved a startling milestone in my understanding and management of my ADD related symptoms. I have found a way to 'quiet my mind'.

I can now sit and listen to the world without my internal voice yammering away inside my head -- and in the process I now realize that it previously almost never quit talking.

Once I found a way to quiet my over-active internal dialog, I realized that my mind knows how to the things I had so much trouble doing, but the incessant dialog was getting in the way of letting it just "do them". I wasn't leaving the full trash or ignoring the unmade bed because I didn't know how to take the trash out or make the bed -- but because my mind was chanting so powerfully about the single-thing I was doing my mind couldn't *understand* the full trash or the unmade bed. It was a deceptive type of not-understanding, because I could "see" them, but somehow all the talking stopped my mind from doing what it is supposed to do -- understand their meaning and access the actions.

Before I try to say more, I have a question...

Is this something you struggle with?

If you sit and look at a tree, or listen to the sound of traffic, can you stop the sentences running through your head and just listen in silence? Or do the words keep coming, endlessly?

If you set out to do a task, like make the bed, can you just say "hey self, make the bed, you know how" and silently do it? Or is there an endless voice chattering through it, jumping between instructions like "pull that corner", and "don't forget we have to buy more orange juice"?

If you say with your internal voice, "okay, that's enough, stop talking and enjoy", does your internal voice stop? Or is it stuck in an endless loop that can't stop bringing words forth?

Last edited by davesf; 03-09-14 at 04:27 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to davesf For This Useful Post:
adhdseeker (02-01-16), angora (03-10-14), anotheradder (05-31-15), daveddd (03-15-14), dvdnvwls (03-09-14), Emy_93 (07-07-16), ferrarl (07-21-14), Gerty88 (09-13-16), hg12345 (06-11-15), Makennan (05-18-14), markadd (03-25-14), mirandatoritess (03-28-14), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), namazu (03-11-14), psychopathetic (04-18-14), sarek (03-09-14), Senegalle (03-24-14), StreetballPaul (07-10-14)
  #2  
Old 03-09-14, 06:13 PM
sarek's Avatar
sarek sarek is offline
Moderator of mind and heart
 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New Hobbiton, NH, the Netherlands
Posts: 12,004
Thanks: 8,718
Thanked 21,271 Times in 8,601 Posts
sarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Yes, I can. I have learned it through gurdjieff's 4th way, which has similarities with mindfulness.
__________________
May you be blessed.
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sarek For This Useful Post:
adhdseeker (02-01-16), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14)
  #3  
Old 03-09-14, 09:14 PM
Fuzzy12's Avatar
Fuzzy12 Fuzzy12 is online now
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 20,117
Blog Entries: 1
Thanks: 32,552
Thanked 30,380 Times in 13,998 Posts
Fuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond reputeFuzzy12 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Yes, no, no, no.

Stimulants help.

So what's the solution?
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Fuzzy12 For This Useful Post:
Emy_93 (07-07-16), Stevuke79 (03-15-14)
Sponsored Links
  #4  
Old 03-09-14, 09:35 PM
Nicksgonefishin's Avatar
Nicksgonefishin Nicksgonefishin is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: arlington washington
Posts: 1,510
Blog Entries: 16
Thanks: 1,269
Thanked 1,912 Times in 958 Posts
Nicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant futureNicksgonefishin has a brilliant future
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Only on the riverbank.
__________________
Tight lines.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nicksgonefishin For This Useful Post:
willow129 (03-13-14)
  #5  
Old 03-10-14, 12:26 AM
spacytabs's Avatar
spacytabs spacytabs is offline
Member
 

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 30
Thanks: 56
Thanked 35 Times in 16 Posts
spacytabs will become famous soon enough
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Stimulants "quiet my mind."
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to spacytabs For This Useful Post:
burger (10-20-15)
  #6  
Old 03-10-14, 09:23 AM
acdc01 acdc01 is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,137
Thanks: 2,941
Thanked 4,017 Times in 2,069 Posts
acdc01 has disabled reputation
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

OP, can you share what you've found works for you?

I think most of us including myself suffer from this symptom and would benefit from anyone's thoughts on what worked for them.

Meds help for me but far from perfectly.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-10-14, 09:33 AM
stef's Avatar
stef stef is offline
ADDvanced Forum ADDvocate
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: west of Paris
Posts: 18,395
Thanks: 37,389
Thanked 27,110 Times in 13,166 Posts
stef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond reputestef has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Sometimes; but if I totally supress them it's worse...it's more like "channeling" everything. If I'm doing something at work like photocopying or scanning I have to keep repeating to myself what I'm doing or I get the papers mixed up.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to stef For This Useful Post:
DanielGM1970 (09-05-18)
  #8  
Old 03-10-14, 04:36 PM
davesf davesf is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 142
Thanks: 22
Thanked 250 Times in 85 Posts
davesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to all
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Yes, I'm happy to share my techniques and thoughts. I know exactly when I quieted my mind, and how I did it. I've also been able to keep my mind quiet since then, and I have not taken medication in ~2 weeks -- though I think the medication helped me getting there.

This is going to be a long explanation, and I apologize for that. In the interest of giving the ADD audience something really quickly, I'll start by explaining the event where I quieted my mind.

I was ~24 days into Concerta, already having stepped the dose up, and it was no longer working. I was back to my ADD tuning-out-the-world state. By this time I realized that my emotions, calm, and attention were coming and going together. I also suspected emotional repression was deeply intertwined with my attention problems. During happy periods, I was able to practice mindfulness, opening my cognitive focus so I could do a task while simultaneously perceiving the world around me. For example, reading a book while hearing a conversation. When the calm and emotions left, so did my focus.

My mind-quieting event happened in the evening. I had just finished a frustrating conversation with my wife. Frankly, I'd felt trapped in it. I was factually needling apart everything she said, but all I wanted to do was stop us from talking. It was like I was a robot that couldn't stop myself from responding. Finally I managed, "I don't know how to stop this conversation." which was as close to an assertion as I could muster. I felt nothing, very disconnected, very much like my previously ADD life -- and after the bright moments of connected emotions from stimulants, it was unacceptably logically frustrating (though not emotional).

I resolved that I just didn't want to be like that anymore. I started trying to provoke myself, to have emotions. I had already been doing this in the days prior. The buddists say, when you have an emotion "let it be", don't chase it away, don't try to explain it, don't try to assign meaning to it. Which would be well and good if I had emotions, but normally I'm stuck in a logical spiral of thoughts that never let go enough for me to feel anything. So I started poking myself with the proverbial emotional fork. Anything that would make me feel anything. My late father, my son, my situation as a father. I'll explain my theory later, and just say that my goal was merely to make me feel something, to cry. I had some success days before, so I was doing the same thing. This time was the motherload. I touched something that made me cry, and instead of stopping it, in the words of the Buddhists I "invited it to stay". And stay it did, first I was crying, then I was moaning with hurt in my chest, then I was screaming into a pillow. I wasn't deciding what to do, I wasn't acting out a scenerio, this is just what happened when I stopped stopping myself.

My wife finally got worried about what was happening and and called out my name to stop me. My expert emotional repression tools took over and I stopped feeling in seconds. I was literally crying and screaming into the pillow one second, and standing beside the bed emotionless moments later. This was no surprise, as I'd been doing this since I was five years old. I also understand why she stopped me, but I wasn't done. I told her I had to get this toxic emotion out of me. I got in my car and drove to a safe place on the beach. I took out my phone, started looking at pictures and stirring up emotions. The more I cried, the more calm I felt, and the more calm I felt the more I started to see it that the place the crying was coming from was different than my logical voice. It was my inner hurt child, so I just kept encouraging him to let it out, that it would be okay. There in front of the waves I provoked and encouraged that other side of myself to cry on-and-off for a long time. I didn't try to explain it. I didn't try to stop it. I didn't try to figure out what it meant. I just let the toxic waves of hurt come out of me. That was when it happened -- the quiet mind. The feeling was so powerful and so relaxing that I remember in that moment feeling like I suddenly knew everything would be okay. I've mostly felt that way every since (though I still have LOTS to work on).

From that moment on, I've changed the entire way I talk to myself. Previously, I thought my logical voice "was" my mind, running my body like some kind of word-by-word robotic controller. Except it didn't work. I'd procrastinate, find myself avoiding things, and wonder why. I can now see this was all wrong. There is an emotional intuitive part of our minds which is actually really good at running our bodies and our lives -- but it has no "voice". It talks back with actions and feelings in our bodies. I had to get my logical self to let go of the puppet strings and start encouraging my emotional self; to let my logical self become my self-parent instead of my self-prision-guard. I stepped back and let my emotional self have "control". I actively try not to think much about the future, I just think about "now", and who I am. I try to trust that whatever the future brings I'll be myself in that moment too and figure it out. Even in the "now", I try to let go and say "you can do this", and as if by magic, my body just does it.

If you are a thiest and enjoy religion, you can think of it as letting G-d have control, like Carrie Underwood says, "let Jesus take the wheel". You can get similar emotional catharsis from confessional if you let yourself cry and be forgiven. I firmly believe now these techniques are one in the same. It's letting that emotional true self inside us do the living and the breathing. It's venting repressed toxic emotion without the rationalization or language of psychotherapy getting in the way. Is that emotional self G-d? Is it a one-ness shared by all of us? Is it the right side of our brain? I'm agnostic, so I don't profess to have the answer to that one. What I see is that the tools, techniques, and language used by religion, philosophy, self-care, and even martial-arts are actually the *same*. That people who believe in their inner self, who believe in G-d, who believe in Allah all believe in the same thing -- the voiceless source of feeling emotion and action inside us, whatever it is.

Not everyone is going to be in my situation of ADD because of severe emotional repression and anxiety. However, if you are, I suspect these same techniques will help you too. If that story didn't entirely fit together, don't worry, I have alot more to say on my technique and the topic in posts to come.

Last edited by davesf; 03-10-14 at 04:55 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to davesf For This Useful Post:
ADDon1 (11-06-16), anotheradder (05-31-15), daveddd (03-11-14), dvdnvwls (03-10-14), ferez21 (03-22-14), ferrarl (07-21-14), Greengrasshoppe (04-01-14), Headroom (06-11-15), Jongeman (01-05-15), Kunga Dorji (03-15-14), MamaD (03-13-14), MindFrag (04-28-18), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), Nexus-7 (02-04-16), Pugly (04-05-16), sarek (03-11-14), Unmanagable (03-10-14), VeryTired (03-11-14)
  #9  
Old 03-10-14, 04:56 PM
dvdnvwls dvdnvwls is offline
Mr. BllVt
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Anywhere I can
Posts: 14,912
Thanks: 1,278
Thanked 17,968 Times in 9,011 Posts
dvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond reputedvdnvwls has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Dave: thank you for that description. I think it has a lot of value for many, if not most, of us; anxiety is well known to be a frequent companion for ADHD, and emotional repression, though not on the co-morbidity list, is a fact of life for many of us as well, due to the anxiety, due to the generally higher sensitivity, and probably other things as well.

The honesty and straightforwardness of your post made it easy to read, and seem short.
__________________
Postmodernism, the school of 'thought' that proclaimed 'There are no truths, only interpretations' has largely played itself out in absurdity, but it has left behind a generation of academics in the humanities disabled by their distrust of the very idea of truth and their disrespect for evidence, settling for 'conversations' in which nobody is wrong and nothing can be confirmed, only asserted with whatever style you can muster.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dvdnvwls For This Useful Post:
Unmanagable (03-10-14)
  #10  
Old 03-10-14, 05:33 PM
davesf davesf is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 142
Thanks: 22
Thanked 250 Times in 85 Posts
davesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to all
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

If you read my story, you can see my methods are inspired by Buddhist mindfulness. However, I do not use "dedicated sessions" of meditation or breathing exercises as I found them hard to do in my ADD state. Instead I practice the methods constantly, in every minute of the day.

I also developed a "mental model" of what I believe is happening in the mind, which is a bit different than what I've read out there in science and philosophy. This has greatly helped me understand the effects of my efforts, and improve my self-awareness.

In this post, I'm primarily going to talk about this big picture "mental model", but before I do I want to briefly list the three elements of my methods.
  • Learning to always -Breathe- (my "apnea" didn't stop during the day)
  • Relaxation and opening of "Cognitive Focus" (similar to mindfulness)
  • Emotional provocation and release (to get rid of mental anxiety)

There is no step-1-2-3. There is no beginning and no end. These elements are in an inter-dependent triangle of self-state control. Together, they control a startling "mode shift" of our minds between singular vs parallel thinking; between logic vs intuition; between thought vs being present; between simulating and predicting a path to a future goal -vs- keeping our perception open to see and understand the world as it is now.

When human brains are maximally motivated towards a future goal, we literally *do not see* the world as it is. We filter filter filter, removing anything predictable that is not relevant to the goal. This is a very self-deceptive form of filtering, because if interrupted or challenged we can look and "see" something un-predictable with our eyes. As a result, we don't realize or accept that our mind didn't see it before that moment.

In fact, this shift is so dramatic, I think it's a fair analogy to say that when we are maximally motivated towards a future goal, it's almost as if we are not seeing the world at all, but a "predicted simulation" of the world created in our minds. It's like we're living in The Matrix in our minds, occupied only by static and predictable things. We don't hear "unpredictable" things, because those things are out there in the real-world, not in our mental prediction simulation.

Do you feel startled or anxious when interrupted? Do you trip while walking? Bump into things while moving? Forget things while doing something else? Have trouble following directions? Have trouble doing two things at once? Have trouble listening to people, and understand what they are saying? -- I have had trouble with all of these things, and my startling realization is that the cause is not at all what I thought. These things happened because my Cognitive Focus was clamped down so tight my mind could literally only "see" and predict the singular thing I was doing. Everything else was filtered out -- or not present in my mental simulation -- whichever analogy you prefer.

For example, when I was on the computer, I would not see my wife open the office door. I would not hear her talk to me. Instead I would experience a startling jarring anxiety when she finally got my attention. It was if she had suddenly "appeared" there unexpectedly out of nowhere. I'd shift my focus to her, ask her to repeat herself, and still struggle to understand the meaning of her words. The truth is somehow stranger than fiction, that my focus was clamped down so tight, that she basically had "appeared" there out of nowhere. It was as if I was sleepwalking, and living in a narrowly focused dream. I don't even think my wife's interruption woke me up, I think it just created an anxious discontinuity in the dream "simulation".

During the brief period stimulants cleared my ADD "fog" I realized several remarkable things. First, I could sit on the computer and work while still hearing the world around me. I could also read while also hearing a conversation near me. This was startling, as this was not possible for me and I didn't realize it was possible for anyone. Second, I felt like the world was comparatively moving so much more slowly than it had before -- making many tasks suddenly super easy. Of course the world wasn't moving more slowly -- it was my perception which was moving more quickly. I was no longer 1/4 sleepwalking, I was fully awake. Third, I realized I was often often often holding my breath. All day long I would catch myself holding my breath during a thought. In fact, I like to say I was "micro sufficating" myself, as it reminds me how bad the habit is and how critical it is to stop it.

These observations all happened quickly while on stimulants, and so I felt like they were the second-coming-of-whartever. I thought my life was fixed. Sadly for me, the effects of the medication didn't last. Even after increasing the dose, only a couple weeks later I was back to my ADD state even while on them. They were doing almost nothing.

This is when I got really determined to figure out what was going on in my mind and fix it myself, instead of expecting the world outside to fix it. I formed a model, and started working using that model. So far the model is holding very true. I'm not the first person to use these pieces, but so far I haven't seen them put together in this way.

1) Cognitive Focus is a "lever" shifting between our emotional mind and our rational mind - and we can learn to control it directly. Scientists have shown that the more stressed and driven we are, the more narrow our thinking becomes. This is how we get stuck in spirals of thought where everything seems bad and we can't get out. Where we can't read a book, or listen to someone talking. Because our thinking is literally so narrow we can't think of anything outside that tunnel-thinking. The solution is to use calm, breathing, and expanding our perception to learn to open our cognitive focus and get out of narrow spirals of thought. When we use calm and mindfulness to get an overlapping emotional and rational mind, it's sometimes referred to as "wise mind".

2) Breathing is a primary controller of this stress level. The more we hold our breath, the more narrow and rational our thinking becomes. Which means holding our breath is a primary mechanism of repressing feelings, emotions, and actions. If we need to repress even more, our minds can secrete mucus to fill up the sinus and air canals, and consciously use habits like nose-picking to populate them with bacteria. The flip side of this is that if you want to percieve the world, start by just breathing.

3) Toxic emotional in our brains need to come out and be calmed. At the risk of digging too far into the science, I believe our minds are like a complex system of lakes. In the morning a lake is placid and calm. Throughout the day, it gets stirred up by wind and boats and has chaotic whitecaps. Our only placid morning is conception. After that we're storing our all our memories and experiences as waves in those lakes. If we have pain or trauma, somewhere in our minds there are chaotic and choppy waves. We can "hide" or repress them by increasing our stress-level and focusing elsewhere -- by narrowing our cognitive focus. The trouble is, the more we repress, the narrower our cognitive focus has to be to keep the chaos elsewhere contained. Soon we are a mess of anxiety that is trying to contain so much chaos it can't see anything. We also become volatile and unpredictable as chaotic waves spill over into our emotions and actions. That's where I was.

Do you see the interdependency? The more repressed chaotic emotion we are containing in our minds, the more narrow our cognitive focus becomes. A primary mechanism we use for this is pauses in our breath. The less we breathe, the less we feel, and the spiral towards an attentionless, emotionless, half sleepwalking life begins. Soon we have apnea day and night. We don't sleep properly. Sleep is a process to naturally and slowly calm the waves, but if that isn't happening, the waves are just getting more and more chaotic.

This mental model of mine is more complicated to explain properly than what I've covered above, and I'm trying to keep this as short as possible. I'm happy to elaborate on any questions about my story or my model.

Is this helping? What are folks interested to hear? My intended next step is to post a more practical explanation of the techniques I use on a daily basis, and their results so far.
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to davesf For This Useful Post:
ferez21 (03-22-14), Jongeman (01-05-15), Kunga Dorji (03-16-14), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), Pugly (04-05-16), sarek (03-11-14), Unmanagable (03-10-14)
  #11  
Old 03-10-14, 10:20 PM
davesf davesf is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 142
Thanks: 22
Thanked 250 Times in 85 Posts
davesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to all
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

I want to add a super-brief description of practical methods one can use to experience what I'm talking about. Anyone who has tried or experienced mindfulness has tried some of this. It's very important to *experience* it, because reading about it is not enough.

1) Actively widen cognitive focus. This needs to be done in a place with unpredictable visual and audio stimulus. Playing a song you have heard 100 times before will not work. It needs to be semi-random -- trees rustling, waves crashing, music you have never heard, or a clamoring crowd. This is because it needs to be something hard to *predict* to help us move to "perception". Our minds are capable of perceiving many things simultaneously, including reading while perceiving conversations and hearing sounds. However, in my narrowly focused ADD state, everything was tuned out but the singular chant of my own internal voice. My first attempts to widen cognitive focus happened while reading The Miracle of Mindfulness, which I highly recommend. While reading the book, I tried to reach out, and hear the dishwasher, to hear a conversation near me. With the help of stimulants and a calm situation where I had let go of stress about the future, I was able to perceive my cognitive focus open. It wasn't an effortful thing, but a removal of effort. By relaxing, instead of my internal voice "reading" the words of the page to me, they were just flowing by my eyes and making sense. This is the same way I could understand bits of the conversation. I wasn't "repeating their words" with my own voice, as I had so often done. I was actually hearing them and the meaning. It also wasn't consistent, but more of a "throb". When I got a little too excited about it, or thought to much about it, my breath would pause, and I would "lose it".

I found it *very* hard to do this in my ADD state before I quieted my internal voice. I tried breathing exercises, but I was just chanting away the count of the breath in my head, and wasn't able to "let go". Stimulants temporarily helped, though I wasn't able to do it successfully until I did a bunch of emotional release.

2) Emotional Release. If the mind's voice is chanting away, my model says it is because of stress in the mind. Just like tires which are over-inflated, that extra-pressure needs to be relieved. Find a safe place, find something that makes you emotional, take stimulants if you have them, and find a way to emote. Thinking about topics you know are emotional. Looking at pictures. Journaling. Write a letter to yourself forgiving yourself for wronging people, or for them wronging you. When the emotion comes, don't stop it, don't explain it, just let it happen. Tell yourself it's okay to feel if that keeps you in the emotional place. Don't "act" or do something specific, just stop stopping yourself and let yourself do what you need.

3) Breathe. Force yourself to take ten to twenty big deep breaths when you wake up, preferably through the nose. Try to do it periodically throughout the day. Pay attention to how synchronized the breath is with activities. Try to desynchronize it and actively avoid pauses in the breath. Spend some time doing a solo "perception oriented" activity with no talking, no counting, no memorization, no categorization, and no organizing. Try to consistently breathe without pauses. I use juggling. Other good candidates are solo-handball, batting cages, solo-basketball. In addition to watching for pauses in the breath, work on opening cognitive focus.

4) Sleep. Start sleeping with some kind of quasi white-noise, as loud as you can handle. This can be a fan, or a smartphone white-noise machine. Try not to let it be too repetitive. Change the sound or the position of the source every several days. I've never had trouble falling asleep, since I was already basically sleepwalking anyhow, but I did have trouble getting myself into the bed at the right time. This is just discipline. Cut out any "addiction stimulants" for a month. My addiction was computer gaming, but you know yours if you have one. Just give it up for thirty days. Stimulants can help with this too. If you can't quickly fall asleep, try to get ahold of some kind of tranquilizer sleep aid -- and take as little as you can. I only had trouble during stimulant induced hypomania, and I took between 1/4 to 1/2 0.5mg Clonazepam.

5) Use "present" language. I try to avoid talking to myself unnecessarily now that my mind is quiet. Turns out it was mostly unnecessary chatter. I occasionally tell myself connecting and empowering things like, "that's your wife, you love her", "you're doing a really good job", and "this is a happy moment, you might want to smile". However, when I do think, and speak, I try to shift to present-perception-observation language -- avoiding past or future tense. Things like "It's good to hear your voice", instead of "we haven't talked in a long time"; or "I'm working on this now" instead of "I'm going to work on that later." This really helps me keep my cognitive focus open, staying present, instead of drifting off in thought. I formerly planned every conversation I had coming up to try to handle my ADD-attention problems. Now I try not to think about what I'm going to say before I say it. I just let the words come out. When I'm not talking, I listen.

6) Look for surprising detail, in everything. After I quieted my mind, I found it shockingly awesome how patiently I could be while listening to people. Then I started looking them in the eye. I quickly realized that many people are semi-ADD too, their eyes darting all over the place as they robotically repeat stories as sequences of pre-recorded sound-bites. I also started to notice not only their eye-color, but subtle variations in their eyes and faces. It's really interesting how much surprising and unique detail I can find in everything once I started looking for it. When I'm walking and talking to someone, I look around me, trying not to miss anything -- not a car, person, sign or activity. I try to notice people and what they are wearing. I think about what it means.

7) Make things mean something, by making them connected. I realize i was going about memory all wrong. I was trying to memorize facts, when I really should have been trying to connect them to things that mattered. It turns out that by *caring* about something, it becomes much easier to remember. When I hear a song, I try to hear it as if they are singing to me, or I'm singing to someone. I make it *mean* something. Likewise with a sign, or a person, or an observation.

There is alot there, and it's a little disjoint. I hope some of that was helpful or meaningful for someone. These techniques are really helping me. Though I admit they work much better after I quieted my mind. Try your best to quiet yours. If you can't, PM or post about what you tried and I'll offer any help I can. I sincerely hope something I've written here can help someone, because it's been such a dramatic improvement to my life I desperately want to find a way to share it with others.
Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to davesf For This Useful Post:
ferez21 (03-22-14), GeordieDave (03-11-14), Headroom (06-11-15), Kunga Dorji (03-15-14), MamaD (03-13-14), markadd (03-25-14), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), Pugly (04-05-16), sarek (03-11-14), slammer21 (05-30-14), Unmanagable (03-10-14)
  #12  
Old 03-10-14, 11:21 PM
Unmanagable's Avatar
Unmanagable Unmanagable is offline
Societal Malarkey Sorter
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Over Yonder in the USA
Posts: 15,709
Thanks: 34,989
Thanked 17,792 Times in 8,903 Posts
Unmanagable has disabled reputation
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Can davesf's info be made into a sticky in the mindfulness section? It's like the cliff notes version of mindfulness and awareness, adhd style, and there's an amazing chance at a successful experience.

Thanks, davesf!!
__________________

"You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart. And the answer darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the f******g universe and not everybody is an astronaut." ~Unknown
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Unmanagable For This Useful Post:
ADDon1 (11-06-16), Headroom (06-11-15), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), sarek (03-11-14)
  #13  
Old 03-11-14, 03:31 AM
sarek's Avatar
sarek sarek is offline
Moderator of mind and heart
 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: New Hobbiton, NH, the Netherlands
Posts: 12,004
Thanks: 8,718
Thanked 21,271 Times in 8,601 Posts
sarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond reputesarek has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Thank you Davesf, for this great info. My path is very similar to yours but I have not yet actively tried addressing the purely emotional aspects of this. My enneatype 9 leads to pretty much automatic instant suppression.
__________________
May you be blessed.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-11-14, 08:49 AM
GeordieDave GeordieDave is offline
ADDvanced Forum Guru
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England
Posts: 1,219
Thanks: 466
Thanked 922 Times in 575 Posts
GeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to beholdGeordieDave is a splendid one to behold
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Amazing information. Thank you
__________________
Live simply so other people can simply live
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-11-14, 01:34 PM
davesf davesf is offline
ADDvanced Member
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 142
Thanks: 22
Thanked 250 Times in 85 Posts
davesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to alldavesf is a name known to all
Re: Can you 'quiet your mind'?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarek View Post
Thank you Davesf, for this great info. My path is very similar to yours but I have not yet actively tried addressing the purely emotional aspects of this. My enneatype 9 leads to pretty much automatic instant suppression.
I'm not versed in Enneagram, but from a quick look at enneagram-type-9, I see many familiar themes. Any external threat of loss, withdrawl, or separation instantly triggers my full emotional suppression.

I encourage everyone to find a way to connect with and express trapped emotion in a safe way. However, I caution from attributing meaning to the way the emotions are expressed.

The actions, thoughts, and words which come out while releasing pent-up emotion may seem very specific, the meaning can often be hard to understand. IMO, the most specific those expressions are, the less accurate they become. For example, someone with a lifetime of trapped anger might lash out and hit someone, but they don't hit the people who gave them the anger to begin with, they hit the person standing in front of them when the anger comes.

I now look at that anger as a "wave" through time and space. Someone was angry, they expressed it and it "hit" someone else (via punches, words, whatever), that person trapped it, only to carry and later unleash it on someone else, and so on. My grandfather did it to my father, my father did it to me, and I was doing it to others. We can't just ignore or make the waves "disappear". We are merely guides for the waves. Our job is to accept them and transform them into something in alignment with our ideals, instead of letting them control us. That was a bit existential, but that's the way I see it.
__________________
How I quiet my mind
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to davesf For This Useful Post:
GeordieDave (03-11-14), mrs. dobbs (03-11-14), sarek (03-11-14), Unmanagable (03-11-14)
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Living & Motivation~Scientific-Method~Will~Monetary-Based-Economy qinkin Open Science & Philosophical Discussion 707 03-12-11 10:28 AM
Creativity and ADHD may share some common genetics Kunga Dorji Science in the Media 17 12-07-10 04:10 PM
Mind Chatter hyperlogic Adult Diagnosis & Treatment 13 09-06-09 06:21 PM
Chit Chat and whats on my mind eh??? Crisgo79 Chit-Chat 8 08-24-07 08:43 PM
Flying Through My Mind Lattebon Short Stories 0 04-13-04 12:37 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:13 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) 2003 - 2015 ADD Forums