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Old 05-08-04, 09:53 PM
Energizer_Bunny Energizer_Bunny is offline
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Post Bullies At Work-Article

Bullies at Work

Does your boss shout at you or constantly put down your ideas in front of
others? Does a co-worker make fun of you, often getting others to join in?
If managers or co-workers make your life so miserable you can't function
well at work or at home, you may be a victim of workplace bullying. Though
we usually associate bullies with the schoolyard, workplace bullying is
increasingly recognized as a workplace issue, and there may be steps you
can take to stop it.

Defining the problem
Workplace bullying can be hard to define. After all, one person's "tough
management" style or "strong personality" may be another person's
bullying. And there is often a fine line between the two. So when does a
personality conflict become bullying? There are several important
elements.

1. Is the behavior repeated? Anyone can have an occasional heated argument
that results in name-calling or even a threat about losing your job. It's
unpleasant and may be unwarranted, but it's not necessarily bullying.
However, if that behavior is persistent, over weeks, months, or even
years, you may suspect bullying.

2. Is it unreasonable? Signs of bullying may be present when your
supervisor constantly nit-picks or finds fault with your performance (even
though you have performed to standards), singles you out or treats you
differently, shouts at or humiliates you, monitors you excessively, or
imposes verbal or written warnings. You may be denied sick leave or
vacation time allowed you. Managers and co-workers may also bully you by
making fun of your appearance or habits, making distorted or fabricated
allegations about you, or even making physical threats.

3. Does it create a risk to your health (mental or physical) or safety? If
the behaviors listed above are causing you to lose sleep, gain or lose a
lot of weight, break down at work or at home, or give you so much anxiety
you can't function at work or in your personal life, you may be
experiencing bullying.

Why bully?
Most bullying is an abuse of power. Many studies show that bullies may be
insecure people who need to wield power in order to feel better about
themselves. Other studies show that bullies have a high amount of
self-esteem that is misplaced, or that they overexert their self-esteem in
one area to hide inadequacies in another.

Why you?
Most people who are bullied are actually good workers -- smart, honest,
dependable, and good-natured, traits that may make a bully jealous.
Bullies try to take advantage of people who are forgiving, tolerant, and
loyal, as well as those who are timid and have a hard time saying "no,"
because they think you won't do anything about their behavior.

What can you do?
1. Admit it. Some people don't want to acknowledge that they are being
bullied, because that can add to their shame and fear. But once you admit
it's happening, you may be better prepared to do something about it.

2. Take notes. Keep track of the incidents as well as copies of anything
written about you on paper or email so you can document the behavior to
support your case.

3. Speak up. You may want to confront the bully. It's possible the person
isn't aware of the effect their actions are having on you. Try to be calm
and objective, not accusatory. If you don't get results from that
approach, speak to your supervisor if the bully is a colleague. If your
boss is the bully, take your concerns to the human resources department or
employee assistance program or employee resource program, if your
organization has one. If you belong to a trade union, people there may be
able to give you advice or act as a third party to resolve the problem.

4. Be prepared to leave. In some cases there is no other choice but to
leave your job. Perhaps the bully owns the organization, or despite your
actions the bully does not stop. Although it may seem at first that
leaving your job lets the bully "win," you may find that the relief of not
having to work in such a stressful situation makes you the big winner.


From Ceridian Corporation.
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Old 05-09-04, 06:00 AM
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Great Post Energizer_Bunny
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Old 05-09-04, 12:03 PM
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That is a great post. I have a strong temptation to print it out and anonymously send it to someone ...
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Old 05-12-04, 12:52 PM
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I printed it out for me and a co-worker dealing with a certain engineer and our boss. The Boss and Engineer are engaged, set to marry this year. The Engineer refuses to give help, he egnors me and others when we ask for help. He is suppose to teach software but won't. The Boss, just yesterday, told me this:

Untill the 19th, Please hyperfocus as much as possible, Put your headphones on and turn up the volume and egnor everyone and everything. Don't talk to anyone and please please Try not to get distracted.

Can you believe this?? Imagine the frustation in this work force.
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Old 05-17-04, 03:22 AM
Energizer_Bunny Energizer_Bunny is offline
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I had a girl I work with that use to bully me. She even shook a ruler in my face. She later claimed she was teasing me and I said well you don't know anything about me or how I may react to something like that. I have a thing about rulers and something related to the 7th grade.

I am glad you guys enjoyed the article
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Old 05-17-04, 07:45 AM
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I'd have a thing about rulers too, if someone shook one in my face! Some people just don't understand how to act around other people. willfully not seeing the irony in my own words
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Old 11-26-19, 02:57 AM
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Re: Bullies At Work-Article

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keppig View Post
Untill the 19th, Please hyperfocus as much as possible, Put your headphones on and turn up the volume and egnor everyone and everything. Don't talk to anyone and please please Try not to get distracted.
This is exactly what I am doing right now: Ignore everyone and everything. Ironically, it's because the hypocrites in my workplace who kept telling me to stop acting childish despite they're not any better, so I just shutdown my personality.
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Old 11-26-19, 11:17 AM
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Re: Bullies At Work-Article

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monox D. I-Fly View Post
This is exactly what I am doing right now: Ignore everyone and everything. Ironically, it's because the hypocrites in my workplace who kept telling me to stop acting childish despite they're not any better, so I just shutdown my personality.
Sorry you're dealing with such a toxic work environment. What about talking
to the boss or HR?
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Old 11-26-19, 11:26 AM
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Re: Bullies At Work-Article

Thank you for posting the Ceridian article. As we can see from other posters' experiences, it's hard to believe any work gets done with all the other drama that goes on in some workplaces.

As a former business owner who tried to be alert for any off-colour situations developing, I agree with all the points. But I have a few words of caution about speaking up.

Not surprisingly people who are bullied usually don't have the skills, experience or perspective to stand up for themselves effectively, either one-on-one, or in front of a group. This is not a reason to keep quiet, but it is a reason to get help.

Of course if you have been assaulted, discriminated against, or have some other legal claim, you have every reason to have someone else represent you. But if the problem is just under-the-radar unpleasantness--which it usually is--what you really need is coaching and brainstorming, from someone (with business experience) outside the business to help you first start to see the problem from different angles and different interests. You must understand your audience and the bully's audience in order to come up with the best approach. Everyone has his own legitimate concerns, and a legitimate reluctance to get involved. How do you make them uncomfortable enough to intervene without losing their sympathy? As long as you feel "entitled" to sympathy, you are practically guaranteed to antagonize people.

Even better than standing up for yourself directly would be to use the predictability of the bully to set a trap--often some kind of misinformation he or she will use to report on you or attack you in front of everyone--and then be embarrassed when it turns out to be false. Let them find (or overhear) something fake that incriminates you. Coming up with these scenarios takes time and creativity, but I have done it, and helped others do it, many times. If you can think of a way for bullying to blow up in the bully's face (without any obvious action on your part), it is the most satisfying and effective resolution I have seen. Everyone goes back to work, and you are not viewed as a troublemaker by anyone but the bully--who will now usually look for an easier target.
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